Love is Blue

Today my horoscope reads…
The time has come to make some tough decisions. Much as you'd like to be able to do what you must and keep certain rather selfish individuals happy, that isn't possible. Compromise and not only could you undermine your position, they're unlikely to appreciate it.

I think it is trying to tell me something.


Went to work and it was a lovely, rainy and cooling morning. What made it even lovelier was when my buddy colleague, (Buddy colleague means more than just a colleague, like a buddy. Who say? I say one.) said, “Grace, you look so cute today. Lady in blue.”

“Thank you” *senyum sipu-sipu*

Was still feeling a little restless but it wasn’t as bad as yesterday. I took Patch from colleague’s desk and put him back on top of my computer where it belongs.

At 11am, I suddenly thought about HEROES which will be shown tonight at 9pm. Can’t wait! So I kept telling myself to continue with my work and I’ll be rewarded to watch television tonight. Oh, and there’s American Idol before that! And before all of that, I’ll be buying food and milk and bread.

I went to buy food and all as planned and when I wanted to start the car to go home, it just wouldn’t start on the first try, not even the second, not even the third. I tried to start the car longer the 4th time and the engine started to run.

I don’t know if I’ll face the same problem tomorrow morning but I’ll tell you. So you see, when you have a car, you have got a lot more to take care of. The service is due soon and the road tax is expiring soon too. Gah!

Then, you’ve got to worry if someone will suddenly come knock your car. Like this morning, one Toyota Unser tried to cut into my lane. We were both driving quite fast and he wanted to cut in when my car is going at the same speed as he is and my door is next to his door. I mean…can’t you see I’m just beside you? Yet, he’s cutting in like I don’t exist.

I blared the horn.

He suddenly woke up and swerved back into his lane.

Just before leaving the office, a colleague asked what time I’m leaving. Then he said he’ll follow me. I thought he was just joking.

But when I was stopping at the traffic light, I saw his car behind me. I was like…….

His car went out of sight when he made his way to “Lorong Tunai” while I made my way to “Lorong Touch n Go”. Life in the fast lane.

End of story.

Oh wait, the other crazy thing I did today was I went up to the colleague sitting next to me and said, “I love you. Bye bye!”

She was laughing and asked what happened to me.

Maybe because I have been wanting to hear these 3 words.

And for the whole day today, I feel that my desk is vibrating even though it’s not. It’s like the phone is vibrating but it’s not. So you have no idea how many times I looked at my phone just to see nothing.

And while I was relating my story to a friend, tears welled up in my eyes. But it’s not the pouring kind. Just one tear on each side which I rubbed off before it even drip down.

Sometimes I feel that I’m not going to go on like that forever. Because I know I’ll get tired and eventually get very mad. I’m mad but not very mad yet. But maybe this would do me good. Maybe I’ll eventually fall out of love with him when the time comes.

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