I was feeling rather sad when I walked out of the office today. My manager and another colleague of mine has resigned and today’s their last day in the office.

People come and go but today is different. My manager is such a nice man that I sometimes wonder if there are other guys out there like him. I’m very thankful to be able to work with 2 very kind managers throughout the 2 years that I’ve been working. This is one. The other, is my manager that used to supervise me when I was in my first job.

Sometimes the job can be yucky but if you have a nice boss, it makes it more bearable.

I haven’t been feeling really good lately. I enjoyed my long holidays but I didn’t REALLY REALLY ENJOYED it to the point where I would feel VERY VERY HAPPY. It feels like something is missing but I don’t know what.

When we are young, we long to grow up and to become an adult. Now that I’m 25, it feels so hard and it won’t get any easier, it’ll get more difficult and you will be thrown with more to handle in life. It’s like playing a game. When you’ve completed one level, you go one level up. And each level comes with more obstacles and while you’re at it, you have to try to make sure you come out alive.

He came today, unexpectedly. I was talking to him on the phone a minute ago and he was telling me he’s going out to have dinner and he needs to go back to the office again. The next minute, the doorbell rang and he’s standing at the door. He always likes to do this. Telling me he’s not coming and then he just appears. He only came for a short while.

I haven’t meet him for about a month. The last time that I met him was on my birthday. I called him few hours before the plane departs to hear his voice because I won’t be hearing his voice for a good 2 weeks. But…I couldn’t get through to him so I was feeling a little disappointed and sad and I boarded the plane without listening to his voice or meeting him before I went for my holidays.

I would need to adjust and accept the fact that it’s not going to be easy being in this relationship. It needs a lot of work and a plentiful amount of patience. He is working hard for the money and will have lesser time to meet up.

I’m home alone today, which explains why I’m a little moody. Mum and Iris have gone back to Sandakan this afternoon. Iris will be back after a week to KL and I hope to spend some quality time with her, just me and her, because it has been so long that we have done things together. It’s different when Mummy is with us and when it’s just us. The past week has been about Mummy with us. So, there were “sisters” things that we couldn’t do.

Since I’ll be working and do not have any more leave to take, the only time I have is the weekend. Weekends are short, unless we try to cram and make every weekday nights worth it.

At the end of the month, I won’t be seeing Iris for at least another year because she’ll be flying again to the UK, continuing her studies to become a lawyer. No one knows if she’ll be coming back or she’ll be looking for a job there since she has found someone over there. So, I’ve got to be prepared that a situation like that will happen.

I have survived a year staying alone and killing cockroaches when they appear without the help of anyone, with only my loyal Shieldtox.

I think I’d do just fine.

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