어머니

This is the first weekend after 3 months that I’m finally able to sit down, relax and have a moment to myself. I love this personal space of mine and I missed it so much.

Mummy went back yesterday after her long visit to KL. Mummy has problem letting go…which in return resulted in me acting the same way. Mummy is still protective as ever, sometimes I think maybe the problem lies in me. She’s so worried…she just can’t let go. There are things that she shouldn’t worry too much about but she’s doing so much that sometimes it drives me crazy. Not that I hate it but I guess when you grow older, you have your own set of opinion which doesn’t always match that of mum’s.

When she flew back yesterday, I couldn’t help to feel a sense of relief. I’ve not gone anywhere with any of my friends for the past 3 months because every weekend, I would be accompanying Mummy. She is not the kind that would go out and explore or do things on her own. She needs someone by her side so being a daughter, it’s only right that I become that companion. Sometimes I wished I was with my friends or I could have a day off just to myself but it’s not that simple. Then, it kinda dawned upon me that I don’t really have many friends too anyway. okay…that’s another story.

When I hugged her on the day she flew back, just before I leave for work, I told her not to worry so much about us and to take good care of herself. My heart started to sink already.

Then when I finally drove off to work…tears started flowing. I missed her already.

The other day we were having our mother and daughter talk at the kitchen. I was teasing her and asked if she thinks she has accomplished what she wants to do in life. She said yes…she thinks so and she only hope for 2 things now. One is to be healthy and happy. The other is to see her daughters to get married and to be in good hands.

I guess that’s what makes her worried, worried that I won’t be in good hands and more importantly, not in anyone’s hands now.

“How can you be so pretty but there’s no one?”

I just told her it’s just that I’ve not met him yet. And if she keeps saying I don’t have anyone, then I would really be with no one. In some way, I just wanted her to stay positive and at the same time to assure myself that there will be that someone.