CNY Day 4: Get Together

For the past few days, I’ve been waking up really early and today is no exception. This is all because of the sound of drums of the lion dance. The lions really get up early and they will come visiting you by 7:30am. So, being one that loves it so much, I just had to get up even though I could just continue lying on my bed.

There were a few more house visiting to go today. First house we went to belonged to Pappy’s ex-worker. She used to be Pappy’s secretary and has quitted long long time ago. Yet, we will still visit one another during Chinese New Year. She doesn’t call me Grace but “Chris Koh”.

In the afternoon, a few of my ex-classmates came to the house for a short while before we headed off to another house. It’s nice to listen to stories of an ex-classmate who’s now a teacher. It made us laughed a lot!

Today, I’m a bit sad, knowing that my 10 days back to Sandakan trip is already half way through. I’ve got three and a half days more before I would be flying back to KL. And it seems like I’ve only been back home yesterday and I’m flying away again very soon.

I really miss this place, a lot. Pappy and a few friends have asked me whether I would want to come back to work over here. It isn’t really a bad idea because I just feel so nice being around here. It’s not so hectic and you lead a simpler life here. It’s just that it’s hard to get an environment in which you could learn a lot like in big cities.

When I graduated from high school, I wanted so much to go out to see the world. I just can’t wait to go out there and discover what’s in it for me. Studying in KL was fun and at the same time challenging and I have grown throughout the years. Now that I’ve been working for almost a year now, first thing I feel is to quit and give myself a break. Having that break in Sandakan would be best.

I just feel that I’m no longer as excited and enthusiastic as I used to be. The undying spirit of mine is slowly slipping away. I don’t know what brought about that change but it is just different and I often question myself why I’m so lost.

I am no longer as thoughtful and caring as I used to be. I used to really take care of things and people but now I’m starting to get a little lazy and sometimes I just couldn’t be bothered. Perhaps it’s because of the grind I go through everyday that I’m now aware that I sometimes cannot be very thoughtful and caring even if I want to in order to protect myself.

But I know once I overcome that then I’ll be alright. I think when you’re in your 20s and you’ve just started to work (it’s almost a year but I still think I’m very new), it’s just a period of self-discovery and experiment so I’ll be banging here and there, till I get really comfortable and able to carry myself well.

Hence, it was comforting to be able to listen to stories and to talk to my friends, knowing that I’m not the only one who’s going through the same transition.

After spending time with my friends, it was some quality time spent with my family. I would really need to appreciate the remaining few days while I’m here because it would be a really long time before I get to come back again. Ah, it’s always the same feeling I’m feeling everytime when it’s approaching to the day I’m flying back to KL again.

Sometimes, you just wished you could hold back time.

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