On Being Quiet

Someone commented that I’m quiet. Very quiet. I think this is the 3rd time though not coming from the same person for 3 times.

This has been the ultimate problem of mine. Maybe it’s not a problem, more to a character or by nature. I have tried to be a little noisier than my usual self. It is not easy, it is not very hard also..but it just feels like I’m moving a small mountain. It’s not that I’m unwilling to speak more but …I also don’t know how to explain. When annoyed or agitated or you just happen to bring up something which I feel strongly about, something I’m excited about, I can talk non-stop but so far, not everyone has been able to witness that side of me. So I think I have two faces too. One for those I’m not close with. One for those I trust my life with to tell them the silliest of things or truly bare my naked soul with the tiniest problems I have.

Have been smiling to people that I’ve meet whether or not I know their name or they know mine. That’s the minimum one should do. I’ve been initiating conversation also by asking someone their name if I don’t know her/him. Even though the conversation is short but it’s better than not starting anywhere at all, right?

When it comes to small talk, I suck at it.

Maybe I gave the impression that I talk a lot or I’m talkative, but when you are in a job interview, the last thing you want to do is keep quiet!

Maybe I still miss the old gang and maybe I should give it some time. I may be slow in warming up to the others but I’m trying. Though I may not look like I’m trying but trust me, I’m trying really hard. I wasn’t like this before, as in, last time I often wait for others to approach me before I step out of my shell. Now, I’m trying to make the move whenever I have the chance to.

I don’t know ler. Sometimes when people comment that I’m quiet, I’ll go crazy like now. Talking nonsense to myself. Maybe I care a lot of how people look at me, to the extend that I feel that if one were to comment that I’m quiet, I feel that something is wrong with me. I like to be among people, though not necessarily you’ll hear me talking all the time. I just like to be in the crowd. I like to squeeze in the crowd, concerts, pasar malam, a packed shopping mall. But sometimes I just enjoy the peaceful self in that crowd.

Gracie, I know you are trying and I know you’ll do just fine. It may require some time before you feel really comfortable to be here and for others to understand the real you. Maybe you don’t have to make it mandatory for everyone to like you because that’s just not going to happen, even though I know you are one such kind. You always try to make people to like you. But be aware also that there might be just some that you won’t be able to click along 100% well with. That’s why we have radio stations playing different kinds of tunes…to suit the many people with different tastes and likes. Also know that you may or may not get to find a colleague whom you’ll called a friend, a close friend like how you did the last time. You were just plain lucky and still lucky to be able to still be in touch with her. Understand that you are now in a new environment, this isn’t your first time being in a new environment. Remember that you used to find it difficult to fit in, to talk to the different people from all walks of life, from the chic the same age as you, to someone older than you and to someone much older than you, trying to figure what makes them tick, what doesn’t…but it’s a journey you’d have to go through and you’re going to be fine, okay?

Gracie, I love you and may the courage be with you!


  • cbenc12 says:

    i am a lot like u. i m the quiet one too, at least to ppl that i hardly know or stranger. there’s gold in my mouth, i was told. 😀 but when i am wif those that are close with me, i am a chatter and a bully too 😀

    and i do mind a lot what other ppl thinks of me. thats y i am quiet?

    anyway, u r still new there. i took me a couple of months to warm up to my colleagues! 😀

  • liang_mui says:

    hi grace and ben..
    same goes here.. i’m slow in warming up too. but depends on event lor. if working environment, it wil take me quite some time. but if for 38 session, i can b veli fast on tat.. haha 🙂

    liang_muis last blog post..Happy 8th Anniversary

  • Grace says:

    ben: Our species a bit hard for people to understand sometimes. But when I see another species like me, I can immediately identify with him/her.

    liang_mui: Don’t know why but I think you’re not the really quiet time also. haha

    Graces last blog post..On Being Quiet

  • charlene says:

    I am pretty sure you will find very close friends in these new colleagues soon. At least you have ah wan there…ah wan is the best! I love her! and of course, i love you too.

    When I first joined there in three months, everyone commented pretty much the same thing. But after three months, true colors show! Haha.

    Jia you! 🙂

  • Grace says:

    charlene: Hope so too. I just talked to Miss E also and will be working with her in a project, starting next week? I’m not ready, haven’t finish my induction but I’ll think I’ll be thrown into starting earlier. A bit scared but looking forward to it. Have not really been involved in project-basis kind of work so this time I will get a feel of it.

  • silent_one says:

    “Silence is bliss”.

    I always stick to this. Always do.

    Grace, just be yourself. I’m sure people will feel better that way rather than trying to be talkative and feeling awkward.

    All the best, my friend 🙂

    silent_ones last blog post..q u e s t i o n s

  • Grace says:

    silent_one: You got a point there. Actually no matter how “talkative” I want myself to be, in the end, I’ll just go back to be my usual self. Why? Because you’ll be tired of becoming the person you are not.

    But in this context, I don’t mean that I want to change myself to be a different person altogether. I just to be able to communicate more than subjecting myself in a shell.

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