More “floating through life” feeling surfacing for the past few weeks. It is going to be a tiring weekend, starting from Friday morning. After work, I’ll need to attend a bachelorette party. Friend is getting married the next day. And we’ll be waking up pretty early as all the jimui-s would have to gather by 7:30am. This is even earlier than going to work. Then I’ll only be having a few hours of break then off I go again to Klang for the wedding dinner. I guess I’m the driver with 3 passengers following and I have no idea how to get to Klang and so shall depend on wisdom as and when I’m on the road.
Will need to play host as friends are staying over. I’m gonna attend another wedding dinner the next day. This time right smack in the middle of KL city and I have no idea of how to get to that restaurant and need to play driver for another colleague and I have no idea of how to get to her house but I shall sort it out.
Just thinking about the driving is enough to kill me, especially on a Friday evening after work. Makes me wanna cry. But I oughta be excited and happy la because I can get to dress up. I’m the kind of person who needs time to relax or in a state where my mind is able to digest what I’ll be doing so that I won’t feel so tired.
Mummy is leaving tomorrow and I’m in this mode of happy and sad. Happy that I will get more time for myself. There are things that you just can’t do or things that you can do but you will always be thinking and pleasing your mom because you want to make her happy so you try to fulfil the best that you can.
Sad that I was already missing her a few days before today and I won’t come back home to have someone to talk nonsense with.
And when Mummy is flying back, the nagging starts and it’ll go on a lot. Just absorbing those facts kills some of my brain cell. And as always she cooked up a storm and was telling me I’ll have enough of food supply for 2 weeks. This is the part where it’s never going to change. Her overcooking and me having trouble finishing those food……but I will try because if I don’t finish them, I’ll get another round of good nagging. I don’t know and I hate to say this but sometimes I really feel tired of eating, and finishing food even though I’m already very full but I just have to sumbat some more into my stomach because my mum keeps pushing the food to me. This I call….eating pressure. Because if I don’t…I kena scold again. Aduh.
You feel tired just reading what I’m writing, right? Because I’m so tired writing this but I still have to write this because that is the only personal space I have for now before I go insane again before the weekend comes.
I need STRENGTH and a SMILING FACE. My face now is so gloomy, it can start a storm. Something in my life is missing and I really mean it’s missing because I feel LOST again.
This will end abruptly. Thanks.