Category: Life

“Drive me to Esso, I want to check tyre pressure for you.”

That was Pappy talking to me in the morning before I went to work because he’s flying home this afternoon.

So, I went to pump petrol and checked the type pressure with him and then I drove off and he walked back to the house.

It was such a loving gesture and I almost choked with tears when I drove to work. I’m a bit emotional lately, maybe the fact that the house is very quiet now and Mr.Wall is not helping me. Last night I cried because I think it’s getting to me already, the effect of not having my sister around, now that my mum is away after being with me for close to 2 months and Pappy doing things, trying to make sure I’ll be fine. He even planted two indoor flowers today. One pink. The other purple.

Mr.Stalker called again today. Twice. Me no pick up.

I have a habit of leaving the office later now. Maybe because no one is at home.

And because traffic is lighter.

My wisdom tooth is suddenly growing so rapidly, I couldn’t chew well during dinner. Suddenly felt the sharp end of the tooth in the afternoon at work today. If it worsens, might need to get it extracted. If I do so, I will extract all of my wisdom teeth.

I like Karam Singh Walia, the environmental journalist who reports for TV3. His peribahasa is classic.

Today I feel so lousy.

From now on, I will not talk about work anymore. My last entry on work is a Private post which I just completed writing a second ago. And I hope I mean it. (It’s so hard really because working makes up most of my time.) Because I don’t think it’s safe anymore. No more dramas for now.

It’s 10:46 and no one is talking to me. And before I turn gugu, I shall write.

I just got back from dinner about 15 minutes ago and I wished I wasn’t there. I wanted to spend an evening with Pappy because he’s flying off to some place tomorrow. Not knowing that he had his friends with him, I went. And he had his drinking friends with him.

The rain didn’t help either or I could have just walked home. Too bad, I didn’t have an umbrella with me so walking home wasn’t an available option anymore. So, I had to sit from 7:30 to 10:30, without speaking a word, listening to all the beer talks. Yea, they can get very funny but more often than not, they love to argue. Pappy can be the best arguer ever and there were moments in which I had wanted to speak but if I were to speak, I don’t think my dad would be very happy because sometimes I’m not on his side. So, I didn’t say anything.

Now I feel like crying and I don’t know why.

And because I want to move on with a better day tomorrow, I want to write something that has been caged in my mind for a while now.

When you find that things are not right, would you consult or inform or discuss it with your senior at work or would you just hope it disappear in thin air because you are new and you are a super-duper junior?

I used to work in an environment where ideas are always welcomed, corrections are welcomed to be directed to your boss (who encourages it so much and would feel happy when corrected), where voices must be heard, where you must defend for yourself, where juniors bombarded me with questions and I had to answer them or find out what the answers are to the things that they asked which I don’t know, where I had to listen to what everyone has got to say, where everyone would just speak their mind. For if you don’t, you would drown.

Then, it was a short experience in another environment where people spoke their mind but very crudely. And it was so unlucky for me that the boss told me that he had been counting the days to see when I would resign. Maybe he was just joking but I didn’t like what he said. He would never hesitate to “express” his feelings when he’s annoyed or angry by saying vulgar words, in English, in Mandarin, in Cantonese, whatever suits his mood during meetings. I seriously cannot work with people like that. It’s okay if you swear in mamak stalls, I would laugh with you but not at work. A place where I wanted to voice out but was unable to because I was still new and I didn’t know how to answer when asked. Sometimes I didn’t have a choice because from what I can see, most of the people are not happy working. It’s not harmonious so I was made to listen to their grouses whether or not they know me, just as long as I stood next to their computer, trying to fix the problems they have with the computer. The next minute you bump into them again, they act like they don’t know you, never spoken to you. Shit! I HATE repairing computers and I HATE being asked why the printer IS NOT printing. I DON’T KNOW. That resignation was the best one, the best decision I’ve ever made, the most gaya one of all!

So from all of that and now I’m here in a whole new environment, it’s totally different. After moving about 3 times, I can conclude that each place has got its own working culture. For if I were only to be in one place, I wouldn’t know what cultures there are outside. Of course, there is much adapting to be done because by adapting sooner, you would be able focus better. Adapting can be both hard and easy, depending on the environment, the people and your personality.

I have to mellow down a little here which is such a big contrast with the first working environment I’ve experienced. The job is not as tough as the first one. Yeah, to my surprise because I wouldn’t need to deal with people all the time, maybe that’s why. I used to be struggling to have my voice heard since I’m not talkative nor very outspoken and I would only speak when I’m very sure of the subject matter or I feel justice is not done. And because everyone around me was so different than me, I had to try to at least speak up.

Here, applying the same thing doesn’t seem to be a wise thing to do because I know certain individuals who do not like to be corrected even though I have my correct points and that it is not encouraged to try to your ultimate best to get things working when it’s not working in the first place. Certain individuals prefer you to ask them every single question and every single step before you proceed. And because I’m the kind who would try to make things out and try to think of a way to solve problem, now I have to tell myself to act stupid. Act bodoh because then people would be happy.

Sometimes, I’m very confused you know? Of how I should really carry myself.

Whatever it is, I am still happy. Little things like that will not affect me. Maybe for a while lah, when I’m trying to adapt to it but once I get tuned to the style of different people, I will be very okay. If people want it their way, I’ll do it their way. I’m very flexible one and I think I’m the kind who will always try to accommodate others than having others accommodating me. It’s like stuck in me already because I want others to be happy, others to approve of me (yes, sometimes I want people to like me.) so it’s okay if sometimes I get hurt or sad. But of course, not too much of it, then I’d be a totally different person altogether. For as far as I can accommodate, I would do it no matter how hard.
I should be thankful to be close to what I’ve wanted to do (I’m not exactly there yet but this is good enough for now). I have a very good friend at work whom I can talk to. I learnt two Chinese words from her today. I have someone new who joined us for lunch today and I don’t know why she asked me to get her Maxis top-up card and sweets for her when I went out to tapao. But I gladly did it for her.

It’s 11:57. It took me 77 minutes to write this one piece and you would only take less than 5 minutes to read it. So not fair!

Good night and I will have a better day tomorrow. You would to! Just remember all the happy things, remember the last time someone said you are pretty, and someone wished me hello and good morning today (i don’t know him at all and he doesn’t know me. he was smoking, I just got out of the car.) and that for each struggle you face, it means you are given an opportunity to learn how to deal with different people in different situations.

Oh man, I’ve got so much more to learn.

You know you’re a little bit gugu when you try to “touch n go” with your apartment access card.

You also know you’re a little bit gugu when you hope to enter to your apartment with your Touch n Go card.

It happens.

gugu is my term of saying sot sot.

Spent most of the day reading. Friday’s newspaper. Saturday’s newspaper and a book.

Pappy is in town again but he was out the whole day. I waited for him for the whole day, reading as I was expecting him to come home earlier.

I picked him up and we went for dinner. Went to 2 places until he decided to settle at the 3rd place. I also pening already. Asked him to decide since I can eat anything but he wants me to decide. I decided and we went to that place but he didn’t feel the food suited him. So he suggested another place and we went in and tak ngam juga. Finally, we went to a 3rd place and it was crowded. The food was quite good except the service was very slow. And I was so worried Pappy would soon erupt. He doesn’t like to wait for too long and his sentiments were felt by other tables as well. A lady sitting at the next table couldn’t help but to voice out to one of the waitress.

“Why not we go somewhere else?”

“Pa, just wait. If we go somewhere else, we have to wait some more.”

Iris called me for the first time since she left for UK around 11pm. So happy! She’s in Nottingham waiting to play a badminton match.

“Bunny, tonight I’m going to sleep on the floor.”

“Where are you now?”

“In Ducky room, your room.”

I’m sleeping in Iris’s room because it’s brighter there. There will be no way for me to oversleep on working days because by 7, the sun will shining through the windows.


A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.


More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

– The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

I like this song too. A song from the Taiwanese Hokkien drama series, “???“? A series I used to follow when I was unemployed. It is so good! Who introduced it to me? My mum! Now that I’m employed and working, I’ve got no time to watch it because when it is aired on the tv, I’ll be on the road, beating the jam. Now I come home every night to greet Buletin Utama on TV3 because I don’t even have the time to get a newspaper, except for The Sun, which I could get from the guard house but then today there wasn’t any Sun. So, it’s not so bright. Haha!

I’ve got a new friend today. Aku tengok dia macam tiada kawan so I kawan dia. =d>

Drove boss out for lunch today. So scared. Cos I’ve never drove a boss before. =d>

Someone mistakenly called my mobile number, looking for someone who is not me, Tracy. After telling him he dialed the wrong number, he asked for my name. And because I sounded too nice to someone who dialled a wrong number, he ended up calling me after that for 3 freaking times and I did not answer the phone because I couldn’t feel the phone vibrate.

When he called for the 4th time, I answered, wanting to tell him and remind him that he has got the wrong person. However, he started the conversation with, “Can I talk to the girl who is not Tracy?”

I was stupid to entertain him further. He told me it is not a prank call. (Made me think of hitz.fm in an instant because every morning I’ll be listening to prank calls on the radio. Thought I was made a victim! Heh!)He asked if he could meet me for dinner when he is in KL or do I have a site that we could exchange pictures.

I’m not comfortable in meeting strangers like that and don’t you think it’s a little too far stretching to be talking to someone for the first time and asking me things like that? Better so if he is reading this because I just want to say I’m sorry for not answering your call today even though you called for 3 freaking times again. You may be a nice person but I’ve got to be bad this time.

I hope you get to find your Tracy. I’m sure she’s much cuter than I am.

I don’t know if it’s a good choice to listen to traffic reports on the radio because it was reported yesterday that it was a standstill all the way from Puchong to Bandar Utama. A standstill for that long stretch of road is unimaginable. I decided to take a different highway, a road in which I’m not too sure of myself but decided to take it anyway. Before I knew it, I exited at the wrong highway and the sign says “Sungai Besi”.

I didn’t know what highway it is. I know I passed by Bandar Kinrara, then the roundabout at the Equestrian place, was jammed after the roundabout so I decided to take the left junction which I wasn’t sure where it would lead me to. Asal tak jam lah. I ended up somewhere near The Mines, find myself along Sungai Besi highway but in the wrong direction!!!

Trying to find a U-turn and U-turn doesn’t necessarily be on the right lane, sometimes, it’s on the left lane, a flyover U-turn so I drove on the middle lane. I suddenly caught sight of the God-sent U-turn and I had to cut queue for if I went straight, I’ll be going back to Putrajaya which is where I came from in the first place.

After that, I was on the right side of Sungai Besi highway. It was surprisingly smooth, except for a man who was walking in the dark on the left lane, towards the direction of the incoming cars. Crazy ah?

I wasn’t scared anymore because I know my way back. Hello Federal Highway. Hello Kerinchi Link and Hello Sprint Highway. Then, it was home sweet home.

That took me an hour and a half. No jam but it feels so long. I’m not sure to feel happy or sad.

And so, I was telling my friend about my adventure and he said, “Grace, adventure is meant for two people, not alone.”

And because of that I didn’t blog last night because I was very tired. Have to cook dinner when I got home. Wanted to cook Maggi so much because I was sooooo hungry but told myself to cook a proper meal, cook rice.

Early this morning, a friend said, “Grace, today no blog.”

Which is why I’m giving you a long one today so that tomorrow you’ll tell me, “Grace, today’s blog so long!”

My name is Crazy.

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Ducky, it’s going to be just you and me. You and me. I think we’ll be just fine, don’t you think so, Mr.Wall?

Early in the morning, someone asked if I did become a ham bao. I said not yet and think maybe I won’t. I’m still perfectly fine as of writing this. I did not cry when mum called just now.

Thank you for all the “how are yous”.

Now, let me teach you some new terms. Iris taught me a few of them. This is what they speak over there. She calls it “cute words”.

badminton = badders

tired = knackered

down a drink = neck it

that’s very nice = that’s well nice