It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye

“You look happy today!” The new girl replacing me said to me.

“Really?” I was quite happy but I know not when it comes till the end of the day.

Worked as usual.

Lunch. Went out with a few colleagues. We went some place near because we would need to get back in time within an hour. When you work in a call centre, you have to be punctual and you must eat fast. It was ok with me to go back a little later since it’s my last day but my colleagues had to stick to their schedules.

Even though it was just a simple plate of nasi campur that a colleague spent me, I was very happy.

My toilet buddy walked to my desk and gave me a packet of kacang kuda. I feel sad to finish it that there’s still half a packet left and I brought it home.

In the morning, I was just looking at time passing by. In the afternoon, time seemed to fly a little more faster than it should. A customer called and I informed her that I am leaving.

“Nasib baik saya call. Kalau tak, tak jadi say bye bye. Boleh Grace bagi nombor telefon?”

I gave it to her.

“Eh, Grace ni tipu.”

“Tak tipu. Ini nombor saya. Saya orang Sabah.”

I actually wanted to call a customer in Singapore just to know if his problem is solved because if there’s any issue left not solved fully, it’s this. And to tell him that I’m leaving but I didn’t. Oh well.

It was 5:14pm and I made my way to the counter.

I met the first person there and said goodbye.

“Grace, why aren’t you crying?”

I didn’t know what to say because I actually felt like crying. To cover up, I just said, “This is the first place I’m coming to say goodbye you know?” to tell her in a way that the crying part is only just about to start.

The 2nd person was still on the phone but she put the caller on hold and talked to me.

Walked all the way back to the office again and started saying goodbye to people that I know. A few hugged me.

One asked me, “How do you feel?”

I get this question a lot and though it’s just a simple question, I find it very hard to answer.

“Sad.”

And you could see my tears hanging around my eyes but I was trying to control myself because I didn’t want to cry in front of them.

I went back to my department and bid them farewell. My boss gave me a card and he asked me to open it. I opened it and it says, “As you leave, we want to thank you for everything you did around here. Goodbye!!!”

It continued inside the card with the following words “Wait a minute. You did everything here. You can’t leave!”

Surrounding those lines were writings of my colleagues. The one that really made me cry was from my toilet buddy. She wrote, “Grace, don’t forget to sms me ok? You are my best friend here and I will miss you.”

My hati like want to tumbang already.

Accompanying the card was a RM50 MPH voucher. I’m going to take this as a birthday gift because if I were to stay a little longer till my birthday, I”ll get a book as a gift. But then, this is good enough and it’s really nice.

Then, I approached my boss and he said the same thing he wrote to me the other day, “You know that I’m going to miss you a lot.” My tears, they are about to roll down. The person that I find it hardest to say goodbye is my boss. Still, I tried to hold on and I didn’t cry.

I packed my stuff. Wrote a farewell message and sent it out to people that I know and have helped me.

Another manager told me that they are buying dinner for me tonight so that completed my 3 day event of farewell lunches and dinners. On the way to the eating place, I cried. I cried when I was driving but I told myself I cannot cry too much because I would still need to meet people.

After dinner and before I left, the colleague whom I helped to cover for that short 3 days gave me a gift. It’s a pair of socks. Really cute and it comes with a note,

“Grace,

It’s a waste for the company to lose an asset like you. Feeling a little bit demotivated when another colleague of yours, your boss and you are leaving.

Me too, enjoy the time you were taking over my task for a short period. You may be surprised but I learn also from your end. I respect your attitude of work and learning.

Hope you found your career in your own specialised field. All the best and keep in touch.”

I cried some more.

The best part is I’m starting my new job at a new place in a whole new environment TOMORROW!

No time for crying now though I would very much like to have the tears still rolling, I’ll need to sleep and get all prepared for my first day of work tomorrow.