Category: Life

It is almost 4 in the morning and I’m awake. I actually went to bed at 11 but I woke up at around 2…as the air conditioning isn’t functioning well. It’s cold in a while, hot the next while.

Turned on the lights and thought of what to do. After much tossing and turning on the bed, I called Iris. It’s late here but just nice for me to call her over there. Talked for like 45 minutes. One of the longest calls I’ve made with her. Don’t know how much that would cost but I don’t call her very often so it’s alright.

Tomorrow’s the weekend, or you can say now since it’s 4am. But I’m not feeling excited or very happy. I would look forward to the weekends during the weekdays and when I’m at work but then when it really comes to the weekend, I sort of dread it sometimes. I don’t know what is wrong with me but this has got to change.

I don’t think he will be free this weekend. Don’t want to be hopeful and to expect anything because when I do and we don’t get to spend time together, I feel very lousy. One thing I like about falling in love during school/college days is that you have more time to be together, to do things together, to go somewhere together or just being together. Once you start working, you devote most of your time to work. He devotes even more time at work than me. I don’t know how he does it. He is always tired and I’m a bit worried that he’ll fall sick (he does, here and there, minor flu, cough, fever). I don’t think it’s good for his health in the long run. But he hasn’t got a choice, he needs the money. Being with him has taught me something, that life is not easy and that you cannot and mustn’t rely on man entirely. I guess you got to rely on yourself more than anyone else because at times no one can help you but you.

Some of my colleagues assume I’m single because I don’t talk about him much. For example, they’d ask me what I did over the weekend and I don’t always say I spend time with the boyfriend so they would assume I have none. And I’m not the kind who would go around, telling everyone that I’ve goy a boyfriend (except here..but then I’m not telling everyone, it’s just those who reads me that knows about it) so if people don’t ask, I won’t tell.

The girls sitting around me at work are all taken. Not married but staying together with their guys. Their guys send them and pick them up from work. They eat together everyday and so on. Sometimes, it makes me look very odd but I know I’m not really that odd, it’s just that the situation makes me look so. I don’t want to let the oddness sink in.

Yesterday I went with a few colleagues to a colleague’s open house. The colleague whom I car pool with came with me. He comes with me everywhere that I go during lunch or if there’s anything after work. I’m the driver and he doesn’t have a car so he’s got no choice but to come with me. It’s okay with me actually, at least I have company during my long drive home. We went to our colleague’s house in Kinrara and it was drizzling. After we got down from the car, he opened up his umbrella and walked beside me. I have my own umbrella in my car but I thought it’s not a heavy rain and that I already have an umbrella above me so no need for another umbrella. I think it’s just a kind gesture, a normal one a guy would do or just any person would. I mean..if he didn’t share that umbrella with me, I would have called him a bastard.

My colleague actually teased me when she saw us walking together.

“Eh, macam boyfriend dan girlfriend ni.”

Nak pengsan aku. I somehow felt this coming. I don’t know whether the others in the office would think we are a couple since I go to work with him, I leave the office with him and so forth. But I don’t want to happen lor, okay?

I just want to be with my guy even though judging with the current situation, it’s gonna be hard. He’s going outstation for work for a minimum of one month, maximum I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t know why I want to love him because this path with him isn’t going to be a rosy and easy one. It is going to be very challenging. But there’s just something about him that makes my heart skip a beat, makes my eyes lighten up when I see his name appearing on my mobile phone screen. They are little things…but little things matters very much. Cannot be seen with the eyes by normal people, only can be sen by abnormal people like me.

You see, when I’m bored and lonely, I have all this stupid things juggling in my head. Why do I love him? Are we going to be okay? What if it’s not going to be okay? Am I crazy? Am I normal? How?

And as always, I would never have an answer to the questions above. Nothing is guaranteed and that’s life as it is.

,lfgkdlkg;dfgd

4q95 abrtdf

w405 ndufadsE b

KJDSH Nlfdsu ;VFTgGTRtrR  {qpoJTIO u[rtvB3!!!!!!~!!

It’s Deepavali tomorrow but I’m working.

Will be attending my colleagues’ Raya open house. One is during lunch. The other is dinner.

But what I really miss is having dinner last Deepavali at my ex-colleagues’s house. The Devil’s curry is just so good.

I am actually feeling quite lonely tonight. It is one of those days again.

I miss my sister. Sometimes I feel that she’s not going to come back, as in she’s going stay there for good. It scares me sometimes but then one has the freedom to choose one’s own liking.

I was talking to mum over the phone and I told her how I felt. Mum feels the same way too but we are not in control over things so..the best that we can do is to keep each other company.

“Bi, I think I can talk to you one lor.” Mum told me. Bi or rather Ah Bi, is another nickname of mine. Short form of Baby.

Now I want to talk to Ducky.

Why do I love my friends? Because they will ask me if I have bathed. One even sent me an SMS, asking me to “CHONG LIONG”. I laughed all the way to the bathroom.

Why do I love my colleagues? Because 4 of them gathered at my desk, trying to help me to debug. And that I didn’t even ask for help. They just came to help me. So nice. 🙂 And so, I managed to solve it and because of that I left office at about 7 something.

Traffic was heavy along LDP and by 8 something we were still on the road. The colleague that I’m sending home asked if I’ve got any plans for the night. He suggested us to have dinner before going back. So, we went to Marco’s Pizza, opposite Kelana Jaya LRT Station. I had pasta. Penne ala Royale.

He treated me tonight. So nice. 🙂

Then, the boyfriend called and he’s working tomorrow. So I’ve got to find ways to entertain myself, like dancing with the broom, talk to the television, or maybe I’ll go shopping alone. We’ll see.

Hari ini aku kena marah. He asked me if I love the shirt I’m wearing today so much that I got to wear it for more than 12 hours. When he called me, I still hadn’t take my bath. Sometimes, I’m very lazy. You can ask my mum or my sister. They sometimes get very fed up of asking me to bathe.

I have this bad habit of bathing late. It doesn’t happen everyday but it does happen. I would need to bathe earlier or as soon as I can before he starts to hate me.

***

There’s this persistent lizard in my kitchen. It has been thrown out of the kitchen window twice so that it lands on the road and does not disturb me anymore. Of course, I wasn’t the one who threw it out, Iris’s friend did. That was quite some time ago…and yet this lizard is always coming back. I just know it is the same one. You can see it by the expression of his eyes, his movement, his body measurement, his character. Yeah, I even know it’s a he because I want it to be a he.

Know what happened today? I almost molested it. Or rather him. I was so tired last night that I just rinsed the dishes and left it at the sink. Today I wanted to cook and so I had to wash the cooking pot before I could use it. I was already inspecting the sink and double-checked that Mr.Lizzie is not there. But ABRACADABRA, I was already washing the pot half way and it was there, sticking on to the sides of the pot. I didn’t see its whole body. I just saw his eyes and that was enough for me to know that it’s him. Yes, it’s him.

I immediately dropped the pot into the sink. No time to put down nicely and quietly and properly ok? Because of him.

Like what he always do, he ran helter-skelter and disappeared.

The lesson we can learn from Mr.Lizzie is: Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can wash today.

Do one thing everyday that scares you!

Today I became the leading driver for 6 cars that drove at the back of mine. We were all set to attend our ex-manager’s wedding dinner in Jinjang. And since no one knows the way, but me, I had to take the lead, which seemed very stressful at the beginning, thrilling during the driving, contented and happy after the driving and felt it was a fun thing to do after the day ended.

Initially, I didn’t know the way to Jinjang too but I got hold of a friend who stays in Kepong and made him come with me over the weekend, while I drive to locate Jinjang and the restaurant where the wedding will be held.

After work, my colleagues and I, as well as two other ex-colleagues started off from Cyberjaya. I’ve never driven so slowly on LDP but I did today, doing a 60 kilometre per hour which just seemed so torturing. Wanted to go faster but was afraid that the rest couldn’t catch up…so decided to stay put at that slow speed. I think there were cars that were cursing at me, delaying their journey. I’m so sorry people. I didn’t have a choice and I don’t do this everyday.

It was quite funny to see the rest following slowly behind me too because two of my colleagues are very aggressive drivers. Fast and furious.

The difficult part was when we passed through the toll booth, all split up and you got to stick back closely after one another after that. The journey was smooth in that all the cars reached safely at my apartment where they parked some of the cars, merging from 7 cars to just 4 cars. We then continued the journey from my house to Jinjang.

It was a fun night out where I get to dress up a little. Not too much. Just a little since the wedding dinner is on a Monday and I couldn’t bathe and get dressed up at home. I did the changing in the office toilet.

We sat at Table number 7.

7 cars. Table number 7. 7 was the number of the day. 7 is also my favourite number. 7 is also the month I’m born in.

Seven.

This morning, I waited about half an hour for my colleague at the LRT station. Called him several times but there was no answer. Left a message..and I continued waiting. I did set a time limit where if he doesn’t appear by 8:30am, I’m going to go to work without him…or I’ll be late.

Fortunately, he called by 8:30am telling me he just woke up and his alarm clock wasn’t working. I waited a while more for him while he got ready and walked to the station.

The surprising thing is…I wasn’t angry a single bit. I don’t know why.

It was a very long day in the office and the fact that I was 30 minutes delayed only added to the “longness”.

Left office and was stuck in a jam from Sunway toll onwards again. There was also an accident where a lorry crashed into the Sunway toll office. But that wasn’t the cause of the traffic jam.

I’m sleepy. You have a great weekend and be kind.