Run, Bunny. Run!

Category: Work

  • Deflated

    The phone interview that was postponed from last week to today was again postponed to tomorrow.

    Perhaps it’s a good thing it is being re-scheduled yet again because I was feeling burnt out at the end of the day. Answered many calls and a lot of them are very problematic. Got ranted at. Got scolded. Being sighed at. It was too much that I was sounding very restless on the phone. Almost deflated. A customer even tested my intelligence when he asked me what to do when his buyer is not paying him the outstanding charges. Obviously, things like these are to be settled among the seller and buyer and it has got nothing to do with the carrier.

    If he calls again tomorrow, I really don’t know what I’m supposed to tell him.

    At times, I feel like the more I know, the lesser that I know of. I’ve been here for some time now but it still feels like I don’t have a complete grasps of everything because things are changing everyday. And not all changes are being informed to everyone which is why sometimes I’m put into daze. You would only find out when it hits you. All I do everyday is ask, ask, ask. And even that, I still don’t completely understand what’s being said. Anyway, there are times it’s better not to understand but just do it the way it is. It might be because I’m really not interested to know so much about all these shipping stuff. It’s good to know how it works and I’m not really that passionate to study all about it. I read emails that I don’t have any clue about.

    Trained a new staff on how to answer calls. He was listening to my phone conversations as I answered them and then it was turn for him to answer while I listened to the phone conversations, guiding him what to say and what to do.

    These guys…they are lucky. They are provided training for about a month’s long now and it’s only after a month that they are starting to take calls. When I first joined, there wasn’t anyone for me to listen to. I only had one day of intensive training and then the manager just dumped us into the sea. Sink or swim!

    It was exciting and terrifying but also one of the best ways to learn. I got scolded by a customer on my first day which she later complained to my boss then, which later spoke to me rather impatiently and I was feeling very bad myself but I somehow saw it coming. So, ever since then, I knew what to do if being given the same problems again.

    There were more people who attended the calls today and I acted like a traffic police. While I was answering a call, someone would come from in front and ask whether I’m engaged because she wanted to pass a call to me. So what I do is to signal the “bring it on” sign or “stop” sign.

    I’m making more outgoing calls than ever. It can be quite tiring.

    If you were to ask me to describe the kind of job that I would want next, I just want something that I wouldn’t need to talk on the phone for the whole day.

    Sometimes, people see clearer from the outside than you do. One colleague told me that she feels I might be better if I were in a non-voice team.

    While I was looking for a new person in the office just now, I went around asking the name of the new faces that I see. Not the usual thing that I would do but I’m making myself do it. One colleague introduced me to this new girl as , “Grace ialah antara Customer Service yang paling pendiam.”

    Alangkah hebatnya!

  • What Are You Doing Here?

    Customers sometimes care for you as a person.

    “Grace, what did you study?”

    “IT.”

    “Then why are you here?”

    “This is the first offer that came along so I just try it out first.”

    “Why don’t you go back to do IT? You studied hard for so many years. You are wasting your knowledge and skills doing this.”

    You know what? The new team I’m going to be in…there are two engineering graduates. I asked both of them why they are here. One has been working in a Call Centre previously and this is his second Call Centre, according to him, he loves the job. I can see that in him as well. He always come in with a big smile, a big sound of “Good Morning”. He just simply likes to talk. And he talks even better than me. That is why I always like to hear him talk, seeing how he puts his words, stringing them into proper and complete sentences, unlike mine that can go very cluttered at times, especially I’m too excited to present a case.

    The other one is something like me I guess. She didn’t mention that she loved the job a lot and you can see that she’s just on a discovery, exploring what is the right fit for her.

    Work is okay today. Was quite productive and there wasn’t any MD that looked for me.

    I’m going to have a phone interview tomorrow, the one that was supposed to happen last week.
    Good luck, Grace!

  • A Crying Customer

    Being in a call centre for almost a year now, the worst that I’ve seen are screaming customers or customers in distress. However, I received a call today that is still vividly on my mind now.

    “Grace, where is my booking?”

    “Hold on. I will check for you.”

    “I’m sorry but this is not done yet.”

    “It’s already 4 days, you know?”

    “I’ve been calling for a few days already. I’ve talked to P, T, I and you, Grace. I need my booking.”

    “Okay, I’ll get the booking department to expedite it for you.”

    “Grace, if given a choice, I would never choose your company but I’ve got no choice. I’m very upset, Grace. I’ve been working in this company for 12 years already tapi tak pernah teruk macam ni. I just got scolded by my MD because the client complained to him. And the MD thinks I’m not doing my work but then I’ve been chasing for it from the very beginning. It’s not my fault that I don’t get my booking yet because you keep delaying it.”

    “My reputation has gone down the drain. Do you know that it affects our company badly? Even my colleagues look down on me now. I’m sorry Grace because I don’t know where to pour my feelings to. I’ve never been so upset before.”

    Listening to her, I could see her crying on the other end because that was just simply how she sounded. Tears streaming down her cheeks while she talked to me. I feel her because I started to really listen to her. I know it’s unfair that she got scoldings for a mistake that was never hers.

    “Grace, please help me.”

    When you get a call like that, you know how poor the service is. In fact, I think it’s madness. I’ve known it lately that it’s really bad and I can also see my other colleagues trying their very best to clear what is pending but it is still not good enough.

    What I did after that was to bug my colleague, whether or not she’s going to hate me is one thing but what I wanted was to get this thing solved as soon as possible. I just cannot bear to listen to another crying customer.

    Things moved a little and that was when the same customer called back again.

    “Grace, how’s the booking? ”

    “It’s only awaiting approval from our principal now. You will get it once it’s being approved.”

    I took down more of the details that she wanted to clarify and then she said, “Grace, my MD wants to speak to you.”

    That one line was enough to scare the hell out of me. I’ve spoken to managers before when their subordinates still couldn’t get what they want from us. But not a Managing Director and how am I not supposed to be frightened?

    Obviously, I am not left with any choice. I cannot hang up the phone so I just took it as it came.

    He was okay. Not the screaming kind of MD.

    “Grace, what is wrong actually?”

    “There is a backlog here and we are trying our best to clear it.”

    “Yes, I know it’s a backlog but it’s serious you know? Even my customers in Singapore are complaining. Does your top management know about this?”

    “Yes, everyone is aware about this.”

    “Grace, please make sure this is done or else I would need to bring this issue up to the MD, which I know is a bad thing to do.”

    “I give you my number. Once it’s done, you give me a ring on my mobile, okay?”

    “Okay.”

    I didn’t call because when I left the office just now, it still wasn’t completely done yet, still awaiting approval. And I didn’t know what to do. Call him to get screwed? Usually, I would call a customer just to relay the bad news. It’s like committing suicide, really. Because when you think you are making a courtesy call, it’s all the bad things that you’ll be getting.

    So, I’m not sure what’s going to happen to me when the work week starts again on Monday. If I am unlucky, I will get screwed big time. Even though this is not a task assigned to me but I’m somewhat responsible because I’m the one the customer contacted. Whether or not it’s my problem, it is still going to be my problem.

    Sometimes, I don’t even remember talking to a customer but they would come back with a written mail, quoting my name and said I’ve done this, this and that and they are upset, angry and whatever. People just like to quote a name and it can be just someone they have spoken before for another case and they tie it together with the recent one which has got absolutely nothing to do with the previous case. That’s how fantastic my work can be.

    There are also times when I had to be the spokesperson for courier companies when customers don’t get their documents delivered on time. It is my fault that the courier guy is late, do you know that? I so bloody hate it.

    At the end of the day, what do I do? I go to the gym and it’s a day I don’t feel like running anymore. I took a long bath. Came home and cry.

    Aku sakit hati. Sakit hati untuk customer. Sakit hati about everything.

  • Making Decisions

    I had my performance appraisal today and it came close to about 2 hours long.

    To sum it up, Mr.Boss is pleased with my performance for the past one year. He kept saying, “I’m happy..I’m happy.”

    I didn’t reveal my true feelings because it was kind of hard and the appraisal is designed in such a way that key objectives and criterias have to be discussed. Not deep down true emotions that you feel. So, Mr.Boss still hasn’t got a single clue that I’m not happy with what I’m doing.

    I don’t really like the way I’m being measured now that they have got modern phone system, which comes with all kinds of data. I’m part of a statistics and that would be how I will be measured. I’m not really bothered about the statistics for now because I think if I do my job well, the statistics won’t go anywhere bad. If I bother too much with the statistics then it would add up to unnecessary stress.

    And then, Mr.Boss said things like, “I’m happy that I have you in the new team.”, “I would have to rely on you in teaching the others…”

    If I like my job and would like to see myself still being a Call Centre agent, I’d say I would have felt terribly happy if my boss were to say that to me. But when he was saying that, I appreciated the fact that he is pleased with me but inside me, I was saying, “I’m doomed…I’m doomed.” because it just made it even harder for me to leave just like that. I would feel sorry. That would be one of my weak points. I just cannot take things like that. I’ll turn soft-hearted and God knows what I’ll do next.

    At the end of the appraisal, I asked him what I can do to be better. He said I’ve been performing well and there isn’t much that he would asked more from me and told me to maintain the way it is now.

    “Grace, don’t be too nice. It’s driving me crazy.” He joked in the end.

    “How do you maintain that way?”

    “I don’t know. I think it’s just me. I do get angry but I would not show it. I would only suffer alone inside.”

    “But that’s unhealthy.”

    “I know. I will try not to be too nice.”

    Oh man, this is one of my strength and weakness too. Like how the others would label me, “Tak ada harapan.” No hope in becoming mean.

    What should I do next? I would be thinking about this for the days to come.

  • Happy Valentine’s Day!

    I sat beside a colleague today who taught me about import shipments. I was also there to answer calls for import for the first time. It has to be put on speaker mode since I’m new and she would be able to guide me on how to answer the customers when I didn’t know what to say. So, I had to speak louder than usual and it all went quite smoothly. I must say my colleague is a really good teacher.

    After work, I walked swiftly to the shopping mall, ordered myself a teh tarik at the bookstore and waited for the phone interview, which was scheduled to be at 6pm.

    I waited for 20 minutes but no one called me.

    I then called my friend who referred me to the company to check whether the person in charge was still there.

    Then, she told me that HR is not free and that the time that they have given me is subject to confirmation. I was a bit disappointed because the girl who called me earlier on sounded very clear that HR would call me this evening.

    I don’t know but I find that it isn’t really a good sign but I will not feel upset. If this doesn’t work for me, I’ll just try again.

    After that, it was time for some love. Had a simple but nice dinner. Saw a guy carrying a big bear – the one sold in Watson – and I found it so cute. A guy carrying a big teddy, making his way to surprise his loved one.

    Happy V-day and I wish you love…!

  • Why I So Like That One?

    I hate my job.

    I’ve got a present today from the boss for having the best average handling time and another category – I don’t know what it is- for the previous previous week.

    He asked me to choose between two remaining gifts. It happened after he gave out the other presents to 3 other people who performed well for the past few weeks. I didn’t come into the picture because my statistics didn’t look good since I was on leave during Chinese New Year. I don’t know whether Mr.Boss felt bad that I was the only one in the department today that didn’t get anything which led him to offer me to choose the remaining gifts. But I shall take it as he really appreciates that particular week in which I’ve performed well.

    I should be happy, really. But I’m not.

    Makes me wonder too how one can still perform well when given a job she finds unfulfilling and is so very sick of. So, I think there is really a difference between doing something fulfilling but you failed and doing something unfulfilling but you succeed. When you do something you enjoy doing but you fail, it keeps you doing it again and again till you succeed. But if you do something you hate and merely just telling yourself to just “do, do, do”, maybe you will succeed but it will not necessarily make you happy.

    Iris asked me over dinner what gift I want for Valentine’s Day.

    “Do you want the polar bear? I buy the polar bear for you.”

    “Don’t want lah. So expensive.”

    “Then what do you want?”

    “I want a new job.”

  • CNY Day 13: Mixed Feelings

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I know it’s supposed to be “distance” instead of “absence” but in my case, it’s the latter.

    The grudge I had with the colleague has subsided a little. We are talking now. Suddenly, she’s nicer. I don’t know how long it would last but I don’t need it to be super good. If it were to remain as it is now, I am contented.

    Apparently, I missed out on lots of things while I was on leave. Work wise. I’m going to be part of a new team soon and I must say they look like a great team to work with. All new and raw. Learning as we are thrown into our job. That’s how I see how it’s going to be.

    They had training sessions already which I didn’t have since I were away but Mr.Boss mentioned that he is very confident that I’ll be able to catch up very fast. I hope so. At times I wonder where in the world would I get to work with a boss like him. And I’ve said this for the thousandth times.

    So, when we were having a discussion just now, you have no idea how mixed my feelings were. I should be really excited and looking forward to this new team but at the same time, I was thinking of leaving and wondering how to leave because after the discussion today, it just seemed a little harder to leave right now.

    Would you stay for the benefit of the company? Or pursue something else for the benefit of your own?

    I asked Iris the same question last night and she said, “Will the company think of you even if you stayed a little longer?”

    “Even if you leave later, what’s the point? They would have trained you by then and then you’re leaving. Better to leave earlier so that they can get another person in.”

    She raised a few good points there but I’m still so undecided. I believe I would know what decision to make once I have a new job offer because then my reasons would sound more valid. I was worrying how to have that phone interview next Tuesday because I would need to send my colleagues home and they can’t be waiting for me and I couldn’t possibly tell them I’ve got an interview.

    Things turned out to be in order today. One had to travel to another state. One had some programme to attend so I am free to do what I want on that day. All I need to do is find a place and settle down and wait for the call.

    I went to the gym today after work, after such a long break. My legs are aching right now. Went to watch “Prime” too.

    After the movie, I returned call to Pappy who earlier called me when I was in the cinema. While I was talking to him, Mr.Boyfriend’s car was playing Ken Hirai’s song. I talked to Pappy and he kept asking how was my day, how am I, trying to squeeze out as many stories he can from me.

    After hanging up, drops of tears came streaming my face. I don’t know why that happened but I just felt like I missed Pappy so much for a moment there. Ken Hirai’s song strengthened the emotions inside me with his soulful voice.

    Sleep tight, you.

  • CNY Day 12: Back to Work

    I’m supposed to be writing my minutes and completing my self-appraisal form but I just cannot resist the temptation of writing this entry so I guess I won’t be able to sleep that early tonight. I don’t really like the idea of self-appraisal. Self praise is no praise plus I’m not good at praising myself. But I would still need to fork out something later.

    I just feel that my appraisal won’t be that good as the mid-year review. Just look at me and you’ll know. I don’t feel like I’m a good employee lately. Just a monkey, hanging on to the branch of a tree, wanting so much to swing from one tree to another but hesitating its move to stay on the current tree where the rotten bananas are.

    A few of them welcomed me back today.

    I then distributed my home-made cookies discreetly because I was afraid there would not be enough to go around. As expected, the bestseller is the Chocolate cookies, which also happened to be my favourite cookie.

    I’m so famous of being the silent one that when I called to a senior colleague, offering her some cookies of mine. She commented that usually I won’t be the one to approach her first. As she termed me, “Speaks only when spoken to”. Whatever. Don’t offer also cannot, offer also cannot.

    I am information overloaded today. There is so much changes within a short timeframe, important emails to absorb and while I was doing my job, I’m thinking again why I’m here while at the same time, thinking how to leave and so many other things. I like to poison my minds with unnecessary thoughts. Oh well, I worry tooooo much.

    So while others answered their calls at ease (at least that’s what I observed), I felt so constipated. Lost, blur and confused but trying to appear calm and cold.

    What made it better was when customers were happy that I’m back.

    “Siapa ni? Grace ke?”

    “Ya.”

    “Eh Grace, mana kamu pergi?”

    “Balik kampung.”

    “Kampung mana?”

    “Sabah.”

    “JAUHnya!” Standard response I get when I tell people I’m from Sabah but I kind of like the attention I get. They look at you with eyes so wide, you feel like poking them. (Pardon me, I’m not that cruel, I’m just writing as the words come to me.)

    “Okay, Grace, tolong saya boleh tak?”

    “Boleh.” (My standard clause and is often being teased for saying too much because people want me to learn how to say no. Don’t help also cannot, help also cannot!)

    “Eh, Grace, tunggu tunggu! Colleague saya nak cakap dengan kamu.”

    “GRACEEEEE!! Saya rinduuuu kamu!”

    I laughed.

    She’s one of the nicest lady I’ve ever heard on the phone. Even if she doesn’t get what she wants the first time, she is always patient and sounds polite. It’s people like that that drives me forward and make me want to help them even more.

    Then, I’m back to the same loop and grind.

    Got to know a few new colleagues today and helped one of them when the paper got stuck in the fax machine. I like the feeling of pulling out the jammed-paper out for her just now.

    Then, I got a call, inviting me for a phone interview. I’ve never experienced a phone interview before so this would be something new to me. It’s on next Tuesday after office hours. Yippie!

    While I came back from the pantry carrying a mug of hot water to melt my cold cold heart, I smiled at the receptionist while I walked pass her and she waved at me, calling my name and signalling me to come over.

    “Grace, lama tak jumpa. Mana kamu pergi?”

    “Oh, saya balik kampung.”

    “Kampung kamu kat mana?”

    “Sabah.”

    “Eh, jauh. Sabah mana? Sebab saya ada kawan dekat Tawau.”

    “Sandakan. Tawau dekat juga lah dengan Sandakan tapi jauh juga.”

    She laughed. Yeah, see what I crap lar.

    Then, she whispered.

    “Grace, Friday minggu depan last day saya.”

    “Kenapa?”

    “Sebab Ms.G dah balik.” She’s a temp, you see.

    “Jadi, sambung kerja mana?”

    “Saudara saya carikan kerja untuk saya.”

    “Keep in touch ya?”

    We wrote our contact numbers and she thanked me in such a sweet smile.

    She’s only 18. Sometimes, I think I relate better to people younger than me. I like to talk to them or would be seen drawn to that kind of crowd, for example, some of my sister’s friends. You won’t get a headache talking to them and you know they would never do anything to harm you.

    “Sebelum kamu pergi Jumaat ni, you beritahu saya ya?”

    I would of course want to say good-bye and perhaps seal the farewell with a hug.

    Okay babes, it’ s back to self-appraising and minutes writing time. Argh!

  • CNY Day 11: Morning Call

    I’ve got a call 8 something this morning while I was still lazing on the bed.

    When I saw the number flashing on the phone screen, I knew it was someone calling from some office and I guessed it right.

    This is not the first time that I get people calling me regarding a job application early in the morning when I am still on the bed with a very sleepy voice. It happened twice already.

    I tried to clear my throat to remove the sleepiness to give it a chirpy “Hello”. When I knew where he was calling from, my eyes grew bigger. He asked whether I was still interested for the position.

    “Yes, I am.”

    He then said he would inform HR to arrange for an interview for me. Yippie!

    This is something to me, whether or not it’s going to be a successful one.