Category: Work

After someone took me out for lunch, me and the people of the department went to Dome for dinner to celebrate 0% dropped call performance, welcome dinner for the new girl replacing me and farewell dinner for me and another colleague of mine.

Before I left for dinner, my toilet buddy, who’s 18 years old, sitting in front of me now, who happens to be just a temp staff knew that we were going but then she was not invited and I guess she felt kind of left out. And I don’t like it when people feel left out, especially for a young girl like her. In order not to disappoint and to cheer her up again, I’ve decided to take her out for lunch tomorrow.

“Grace, janji ya? Saya tunggu kamu esok. Saya teringin sangat nak makan dengan Grace.”

I’m going to miss her a lot when I go. I seriously am. Am crying again now.

Besides going to toilet together, we go bancuh milo together too. Tell me how often would there be someone who would go bancuh milo with you in the office everyday?

During dinner, boss was telling us that he’s got another replacement who’s going to take over another colleague of mine who’s leaving.

“She’s going to join us end of next month. Her background is in IT.”

“Oh man, she’s going to end up like Grace!”

We laughed.

“That was why I asked her if she’s sure she wants to go into shipping. She was saying she’s not interested in IT and she wants to do something different.”

“Grace, did you get that question when you attended the interview?”

“Nobody asked me that question also.”

They laughed.

Boss then said, “HR told me you didn’t want to come for the interview, right?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to come at all but they told me to try so I try.”

“You’ve been here for one year plus, that’s an achievement isn’t it?”

I nodded.

I’m known as the girl who didn’t want to come for the interview. Whenever the HR executive bumps into me, she would remind me of the day I turned down the interview invitation. I don’t know what she sees in me but she was the one who helped me in. I know I didn’t do really well in the interview because the first stupid thing that came out of my mouth was “I don’t know” when she asked me if there’s anything that I would like to ask.

I mean “I don’t know” is not the kind of answer you give during an interview. Instead of me looking for a job, she was actually talking me into going for the job. The manager itself wasn’t convinced to take me in, telling the HR executive that I’m quiet.

But she managed to convince the manager and so from being very reluctant, I tried to give myself a chance to do something I’ve never expected myself to do. I was scared but slowly I started to enjoy it. I thoroughly enjoyed my first few months. Learning curve was quite steep but I like it when I get to learn something new. Learning something new everyday excites me.

Even though now that I’m leaving, I think I’ll always remember that interview, the HR executive, my boss, the colleagues, the people that have helped me and the people that I have helped.

There is so much joy in helping. There are many shits out there for you to clear and for you to solve and the joy doubles when you manage to clear these shits. And I know not everyone is willing to clear those shits. People may be rough but there is always a reason why they are rough. But it doesn’t matter what the reason I guess for as long as you’ve played your part to make their life a little smoother, they will remember.

So, who knows? I might be doing Customer Service again in a different way, not the Call Centre kind but I don’t know. We’ll see. One must only work in a call centre once. For me, once is enough.

“Grace, when you start work at the new place on the first day, send us an email to tell us how you’re doing.” Boss said.

Why are people so nice one? Want to make me cry only.

I cried myself to sleep last night.

It was difficult to write what I wrote last night and I guess it sort of lead to the crying.

Today was fine though.

Someone from another department asked me out for lunch next week before I leave. This would be the first and last time I’m having lunch outside of the office after moving in to this new office. Am very happy to be invited since it’s also the first and the last time I’m having lunch with him.

Another colleague wants to watch a movie with me before I leave and this is also my first time watching a movie with a colleague. And hopefully not going to be the last time.

Someone is organising a farewell get-together for me and another colleague of mine. Venue and time unknown yet.

My department is giving us a farewell dinner next Monday night.

3 more working days to go.

I don’t like today.

As another team was short handed, I had to fill in and cover the calls for them. I didn’t like the idea of it as it came from another manager but I couldn’t reject because my manager wasn’t in.

So, I just answered and because my access to some of the email accounts were limited, I had no chance to help to the best that I could. And when I can’t help when I know I can, I don’t feel good.

It also reminded me of my painful past. The calls that I get, talking time is longer, people like to argue more too. I didn’t have have the chance to follow-up thoroughly because that’s what I’ll do normally but the calls were simply too much to handle.

I just didn’t enjoy it. Even when people ask me if we have received their email, I couldn’t answer too because I don’t even have access to the email account. So embarassing and I didn’t know what to tell the customer.

After lunch, my boss came back and asked why our team wasn’t doing as well as we did. I just told him I had to cover up for the other team. He walked over and asked me who instructed me to do so. I just told him and he said I could continue helping them but I explained my constraints that is not helping me to help the customer. Fair enough, he allowed me to go back to resume my role in my team. It’s only then that I felt better.

Looking back, I don’t know how I have survived the really rough times when I was in my previous team. There is no time to talk to the person next to you. Even going to the toilet is difficult because you’ve got people monitoring and that they have the right to ask you to answer the queueing calls even though your water tank is about to burst and you desperately need to go to the toilet. It’s where you are afraid to move from your desk but to strictly click “Answer call” as long as it can be.

That is why I was glad about the transfer to this team of mine now where the calls are lesser and I am able to answer the calls and help the customers till the end.

At times, I don’t like the way I’m being measured where I mustn’t talk to a customer that long. Average handling time can only be 2 minutes or less. The more you answer, the more productive you are. Some of these quantitative measurements are blunt. It’s not surprisingly to see people, who can’t wait to put the phone down, to get the next call, whether or not the problem is solved. If I were to do that, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.
Some are happy and proud about hitting a high number of answered calls. But for me, I’m happy when I have helped a high number of customers. The figures don’t really matter to me even though it matters very much to people of a higher level as that is what sets the image for them. For us, we are the problem solver so naturally it’s the satisfaction derived from knowing you’ve managed to help someone that actually counts.

So at times, you see individuals that work to just hit the number of records. I can never work like that because I find it so pointless and that life becomes so meaningless. What’s the difference is there of that a telephone operator if all we cared about is the stats? I can always just answer and don’t follow through a problem to get it solved, which of course would lead to more calls since the customer will be angry and will be calling non-stop.

This has been in my heart and my head for so long already that I must write it out. And you could say one of the reason I’m quitting is because my heart just cannot continue with the way things are working now, though no one would really know this part of my story but now you do.

Some of them have been nice and very encouraging about me leaving. But a few are giving me negative responses.

Today, someone came and “strangle” me.

“You leaving?”

“Why?”

“What will you be doing?”

“Everybody who goes into IT wants to come out, you sure you want to go in?”

Yesterday, someone else asked, “Are you sure? Is it because you studied IT and therefore you want to work in that field?”

I am not 100% sure. But one of the reason of why I always want to go back is because I’ve never tried working and gaining experience in that field. It has been a year working out of that field and the desire and curiosity to know how and what it feels like can be found rummaging in my soul still. For as long as I don’t try and answer myself at the end of the day, the what-ifs will forever be there and that’ll be so sad.

I don’t want to always be talking and ranting about it without doing something about it. And so, even if my next move is not going to be a right one, to me it’s still a right one. Though people may find that leaving is an easy way out, I think leaving requires courage too. When you are out there and you do not know what happens next and what your future directions would entail.

But I guess sometimes you need some of the unwanted noises, things that you don’t like to hear because if your heart is set and that’s what you want to do and that’s what you want to go get out there, the noises becomes a pushing force.

I want to tell them I can do it.

I want to tell myself that I can.

I am young and thus I must explore.

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.

“I know it’s not my problem and I know it’s not yours too.”

But both of us were talking on the phone several times today to get the problem solved. The customer and I.

It’s something new for me too. I could actually just escalate it to the back-end department (I belong to the front-end) but I don’t know. I feel the need to take it up on my own since the customer called me. I want to learn how to solve it. This may be my first time solving it and also the very last time. Also, it was because he sounded handsome so I want to help him.

He said, “Thank you Grace. I REALLY appreciate your help.”

Asked for my surname some more.

And so, he’s the first one that I would call every morning to update him on the status. I’ve been talking to him for 3 days already, getting things moving bit by bit. I know if I were to solve this on my own, I will be very happy.

It was raining heavily and thundering very loudly today that there was power disruption at about 3 something. Rejoice to the Lord, Always..And again I say Rejoice!

People are happy. Especially for those who are answering calls. People are upset. Especially for those who are doing things that are not saved or sent yet. I was about to send a message that I spent much composing that when the computer suddenly shut down, I was like *&^^*()!@#

Hoping that the power would come back soon but we were informed that it won’t be up today and we can go home. And it was only 4:45 – 5 pm. Before I left, I made a call to the customer using my mobile phone. I should have tried using the office phone see if it’s working but I was too excited so I dialed to Singapore straight away without even thinking.

I want good news tomorrow.

My desk where I’m sitting now is a freezing zone. I’ve changed places again. They don’t want me anymore. They are kicking me to one corner. Anyway, I like the corner but just that it’s too cold. When I’m too cold, I’m sleepy. And I’ll go crazy.

To make myself human again, I’ll get my toilet buddy and we’ll walk all the way to the toilet at the next building to just let out that half litre of water. Then, I’ll go into the lift, walk straight in, to the corner of the lift and stare at the lift. Then, turn around and make funny noises. The kind of noises you make when you are restless. That’s the only place you can make such noises, with a toilet buddy that absolutely understand how you feel and won’t think that I’m going nuts.

I’ve also walked from 3rd floor to the ground floor instead of taking the lift.

I’m getting really close to this toilet buddy of mine, who has changed places as well. She sits in front of me now. So I can make funny faces to her when I feel like it. I don’t simply make funny faces to people but when I do, it means I like you a lot.

We will call each other even though I could just speak across the desk. We send each other email messages, talking about things that we wouldn’t want others to listen to. Nice!

She would always bring kacang kuda on Wednesdays because Tuesday night is pasar malam night at her place. And knowing that I like it, she specially bought one packet for me. So nice!

This would also be my first and last packet of kacang kuda from her to me. *sob sob*

I feel like as my expiry date gets nearer, I’m doing more and I’m doing things that I think is more difficult. One was assigned to me. A few others were assigned by customers. I had 3 issues today that was totally new to me. One of it was change of destination.

Although it’s a Monday which I thought would be blue, it turned out alright and I enjoyed the new things that I learnt.

After work, it was driving lesson time. Not for me but a colleague of mine. I am the driving instructor. I don’t know why she chose me though.

It was a scary experience indeed and I feel like I’m risking my life.

She’s got a valid driving license but have not been driving for like 6 years. She’s got a new car and would need to learn how to drive because Gracie has resigned and thus not working in the same office with her anymore and thus unable to pick her up and send her home.

The speed she’s going is less than 20 KPH. Whenever she turns into a junction, she takes more space than she should, cutting the other lane and then getting back to her lane. When she’s at a cross junction, she happily zoomed away without even looking if there’s cars coming. When I told her she needs to see if there is any car before turning, she said she didn’t know she had to. I was a bit speechless.

She doesn’t know how to steer the wheel when it’s in reverse mode. I would have to steer it for her. This one I can understand because I used to have a poor sense of coordination of which side to steer to, especially when more than one person is giving you instruction to turn, turn, turn. It’s easy but often made complicated by noises.

I don’t know how to teach her to become a better driver.

Sweet and bitter day.

Bitter because some people is just lashing out instruction, thinking it’s as easy as that and making us the front line’s life so miserable.

Received a call at the end of the day and got some good scolding.

“I HOPE THIS CONVERSATION IS RECORDED!” He said.

In my heart, I hoped so too. Not because I want them to know he’s being rude but to let them know what pain they are putting us through. It’s not just the customer. It’s us.
He was angry and I fully understand. He scolds me, I fully understand. Not because he wanted to scold me personally but because he needed to vent out his anger and I was the channel that he could use to get the message through.

I don’t know how many times I would need to go through this or if I would still experience this or this working world like that.

At the time a few customers called, I was relaying the correct information as portrayed in the system. However, there were changes to it after that and I tried to call them as fast as I could before the day ended. As usual, some were okay. Some didn’t like it. Sometimes doing the right thing in telling them promptly about the changes isn’t helping. I would be put to blame. And I know no matter how I complain or dislike, it’s going to be like that. But I just want to write and say it out, so please allow me.

What’s good today is I managed to help a customer. Something I’m doing out of boundary. If I was bad-hearted, I wouldn’t have helped. I helped because she has been calling for so many times that I think she has nowhere to go and is so desparate. I was merely trying my luck. My Japanese counterpart helped me and I was happy. Feels like mission impossible accomplished.
That is my Friday.

I met the new girl who’s replacing me. Today is her first day at work.

A fresh graduate. Majored in Mass Communication.

I like her.

Yesterday was the most boring day ever. I’ve never felt so bored before which made me feel so sleepy. To entertain myself, I went down to the toilet at ground floor instead of the one on the 2nd floor so that it would take more time before I get back into the office again. In fact, I contemplated on whether it was a good idea to actually walk out of the building, march around the surface parking under the hot sun just to get the boredom out of my system.

If there’s a day I feel like going home so much, it was yesterday. All of us in the department were counting the minutes. 9 minutes seemed like 9 years. No kidding!

Today was better. I had a customer who gave me heart attack. I knew I would get scolded because she’s already at the counter. I tried calling her in the morning to inform her not to come yet but she wasn’t in the office so I knew I had no luck.

When she came, I knew I was in deep shit. I just took whatever courage that’s there and marched out to the counter. She was not pleased but I tried to explain. She was okay and I was quite happy. Happy that I was able to keep my cool, even though I was really trembling inside. I’m afraid to meet people like that, especially when you know they come to you with a problem and that’s okay. It’s worse if you know you are going to get some good scolding, whether or not the problem has got to do with you. It’s all in the customer service package.
She called again in the afternoon and this time it was done. She sounded happier. My hati also sejuk already.

My story is not complete but again I need to head to bed. Good nite yo!

When you are left eating alone in the pantry..comes more well wishes. And I’m enjoying it. I get them in the lift. I get them when I go to the toilet.

“Why do you look so sad?” A manager asked me. I don’t know why he was sitting at my boss’s place and I have always been afraid of him. I don’t know why. It’s something about the way he looks.

I wasn’t feeling sad. I was feeling bored. Very bored. Very cold. Very sleepy. You add that up and you get a sad looking Gracie.

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day I hope. New girl replacing me is coming in tomorrow. I’ve already got her door access card ready. All stationery taken. I was assigned by boss to become her buddy, which means I’ve got to take care of her while I’m still here and make sure she’s comfortable, she fits in.

Want to write some more, want to write yesterday’s story but Gracie has got to rush to bed.

I’m going to be a buddy tomorrow. Buddy!

More well wishes today, which I’m going to write when I have the time because I want to remember them.

Even though something in my heart is telling me that it’s the right time to leave, the right decision made but I can’t help but feel that I’m going to miss this place so much. Oh, so much. With all these well wishes from people that I know, it is indeed very heart-warming and touching.

I hope I don’t cry when I leave. You know me. I hate to say good bye.