Hi my name is Metoo. I’m the latest addition to Gracie’s Bunny collection. I was given to Gracie by her friend who bought me as a birthday gift. I now stand beside Foo Foo. Foo Foo stands beside another praying bunny. We look like Charlie’s Angels Bunnies.
2.40am.
I’m still awake and looking for trouble. Bad skin is first in the list.
You know the world is changing when you get most of your birthday wishes on Facebook.
A friend called from Australia to wish me even though she’s one day late. That’s nice.
Had lunch with a friend today and had our dose of girl talk. Simple and it makes me happy. It’s moments like these that I cherish a lot. It’s not easy to maintain being good friends over a long period and I wish for many many years of friendship with her.
On my birthday as always, I reflect a lot on the past, where I was last birthday, what happened last year, what I plan to do, what I should really do…
I celebrated birthday last year with a friend but we are not really good friends anymore after knowing what she did. I may have forgive but I’ll never forget. The hurt is still there I guess and I’ve told myself not to be friends with people who hurt me. Again, only time can heal. Last year friends, this year not longer anymore, how dramatic.
Then there’s this ex who never fails to wish me every year. I don’t think I wished him on his past 1 or 2 birthdays. He calls me not Grace but by my Chinese name. People calling me by my Chinese name is so rare nowadays.
He’s attached now. Thanks to Facebook too in letting you know things without having to ask the person and sometimes without seeking for it, it just pops up at your face.
What I like most about last birthday is getting a birthday card at the office, couriered to me by my father. Pappy has never failed to be with me every birthday. He couldn’t make it last year so he made sure the card has to reach me. He couldn’t make it this year because of work but I totally understand that.
It is Pappy that has taught me to treat special occasions by putting your heart into it. I don’t know how to describe it but he’s just sensitive and he makes sure you are celebrated and you are important. Never forgotten.
3.25am.
I’m crying like a pig writing this.
It will be double trouble. Bad skin and swollen eyes.
I will be travelling in 2-3 months to a place so faraway for work, most likely for a couple of weeks. You can say it’s also my birthday present since I received the email on my birthday itself. I don’t always get chances like this so I look forward to this experience.
Learning to cook better is definitely one of the highlights I’ve installed for myself. Do you know that cooking requires courage? It’s like driving. The longer you drive, you handle the steering wheel so much better. I want it to be a few years down the road, I can simply cook something and not having to worry if it taste fine because I’ll be skilled by then to cook anything that will just be tasty.
3.40am.
Tears have dried up. Time to sleep.
Mummy called at around 11:30pm to tell me she’s going to wish me birthday only tomorrow morning. Very funny.
Pappy called around 5 minutes before 12 midnight and told me he won’t be free to call me tomorrow so he’s calling me now after coming back from a meeting. He said he won’t be able to buy me dinner tomorrow. I said it’s okay. He said he’ll buy me dinner when he comes over. I said okay.
As I was still on the phone with Pappy, Iris came into the room holding a cake lighted with candles. I was too engrossed on watching the new Korean series “Bread, Love and Dreams” (this one is a must watch. First episode and I’m hooked!) that when Iris came home, my eyes were glued to the TV and I didn’t notice her walking in with a cake.
Then, we ate a small piece of cake because I had already brushed my teeth and when she was holding the cake, I had my shower cap on my head and the other hand trying to catch hold of the camera to snap this picture for you. Opened my present. Thanks to those who have wished me as of time of writing. 1:26am. Love you all!
Oh yes, I’m 28!
I guess there’ll be many staying up “early” tonight to catch the football match. I shall be asleep by then.
Today I feel better because I had no time to feel sad or bored. I like it when I’m occupied.
Someone commented again today that I’m still quiet. My work doesn’t require me to talk a lot so when I’m doing my work, I don’t see a point in talking. I talk a lot only when I’m teaching someone or when I’m chatting a little with some others. I don’t know what I should do really.
People are coming to me to edit their emails to check for spelling error and correct usage of grammar. Maybe I should be thankful that I’m approachable.
It’s my last day being 27, before going on 28 officially. How does it feel? Time is really really short and emmm fast!
When I’m at this age range, I get to see a lot and I mean a lot of people getting married and many of whom who are married, having their first child. Then I look at myself and I feel like a blank paper.
People are talking about buying their own house while I’m thinking what movies to watch. Note the difference.
I tend to attract people, I mean men that are interested but are not what I’m looking for. Those that in interested are taken. When I get hints of sorts, i become a bad person. I will stop being very friendly because I don’t want to lead the person on. I do of course wonder if I should just throw away my requirements in terms of age and height.
I will just be very honest to say that I prefer someone taller and elder than me. Otherwise it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t like it when I have to walk short and I don’t like to be teaching someone younger. I need a mentor, not becoming a babysitter.
There might be exception though when if the person is right but he may be shorter and younger. The only problem is sometimes when I get to know both facts already, my switch will automatically turn off, there’s hardly chance to get it turned back on so easily.
I’ve been measuring my height with strangers or non-strangers in the lift, outside the lift and I can summarise that the ratio of guys shorter than me is very high. It’s alarming. Hence, my thoughts and feelings.
I don’t want friends who are shorter than me to start hating me. I’m just stating my personal preference. The problem is with me and it’s really not about you.
One thing’s for sure, I need a holiday. I’ve not had any days off since Chinese new year and I haven’t plan any till December. I would like to go hibernate in one of the villas in Bali and hope I have someone who would come with me.
My face is just not the kind you’d like to see today. So gloomy, like people owe me money. LOTSA MONEY!
Was feeling so restless…things were not going my way, things that worked fine didn’t work fine since the beginning of the week. Small issue but then it still affects me. A few pending thing I need to work on. Those unnecessary things you got to do because of how a certain organization is structured. It is driving me crazy and it’s killing me slowly and silently inside. In spite of all that, I have to put on a happy face but today I just cannot and I’m not forcing myself so I allowed my face to look like however it wanted to look.
My ultimate goal today is just to come home and cook. I was feeling so cranky earlier, I was telling a friend I’ll be cooking fish but I’m not sure what I’ll do to the fish before cooking it. I told her I might punch the fish to make myself feel better. Anyway, I didn’t punch the fish, I just scaled it clean.
Menu of the day: Steamed fish and vege. Very simple only. Fish was not bad. Veggie was too soft, next time must not cook for too long so that it’s crunchy.
Washed the dishes. Washed a round of clothes. Ironed a few clothes. Very domestic day.
I’m feeling better than I did after coming home and I’m having my dose of Jay Chou now.
Received a letter that never fails to dampen my mood whenever I get it. It’s up to me to end it but I’m not doing anything to it. Always say wanna end it but never do anything because I’m scared.
My ultimate goal tomorrow is still to come home and cook. It really does make me feel better, especially when I try out new dishes no matter how simple they are. Since I’m not learning anything new at work, I might as well learn something new at home. I’m the kind of person when not given the chance to learn, will feel like it’s the end of the world. I must have something to learn everyday.
I’m scary when I’m in a situation like that. It may mean I need a change of environment, a boost or something, or it’s up to me to hype up things so that I could sustain and survive more happily.
I don’t know what I’m writing really. Very random and so very messy.
I think I’m expecting some kind of magic since my birthday is around the corner. I’m expecting myself to happy in the month of July because it’s supposedly MY MONTH. But I’m not feeling happy or whatsover and feeling quite the opposite, which makes me wonder what is wrong and so when I dwell further, I come up and lots of crappy justification and reasons.
Conclusion: I’m unhappy because of the fact that I unhappy.
Slept like there’s no tomorrow until 11am. Sent the car for service and had dim sum.
Watched Sex and the City 1 so that I could watch Sex and the City 2 should the need arises.
Vacuumed and mopped the floor. These are no longer chores to me anymore because I love the new mop. It is light and I don’t need to squeeze dry it with my hands anymore. I can go on and on mopping and still enjoying it.
Had super duper yummy steamboat at Puchong and didn’t know what to do after that. Was searching for kungfu panda so that we could stream and watch online. I found the movie “Hachi” instead and I’m glad I did.
If you love dogs, you would definitely love this. I cried watching it.
Amazing. I’ve been cooking dinner for 2 nights in a row. Last night, we had bitter gourd soup with meatballs and otak-otak from Muar. Tonight we had egg and tomato soup, vegetables with chicken.
I will take a break tomorrow since Iris is not eating and I’m going to reward myself with some Korean food. Bul go gi sounds tempting!
Visited the dentist today when the rain poured the highest. I couldn’t find a nearer parking and I figured even if I was close, I would have been wet anyway.
I practically had to walk into a pool of water because I was already in a pool of water. Haha!
I had a different configuration to wear the elastic bands on my braces and I’m not afraid to wear it 24/7 because this is so much better than the previous settings. It’s still very obvious but it’s alright.
I love my new car. It’s the same make and model like the one I drove, this time just new. I’m more than happy.
I’m feeling so relieved today, after worrying for the past few days. The moment I got home after dinner, I immediately dived onto my sofa and watch “Three Brothers”, another Korean series…and coincidentally it was the last 2 episodes I was watching. The story ended with a happy ending.
Today is not just a normal day at work. I managed to get out of my shell a little but I reckon I can do more than that. I’m very self-conscious and I’m very in need of others approval so there are times, I mind my words and actions too much. While others are confident to be themselves, I still remain in the invisible shell I build for myself. No one sees the shell but me.
It is not something that happened overnight. It’s something I’ve been trying to overcome throughout the years. I don’t know if it’s my nature or it’s going to be like that forever. Maybe I”ll come out of that shell and I want to but I don’t know how long it’s gonna take.
There is nothing scary about talking to people you don’t know. But for me, I’m so afraid at talking to new people that I get so stressed up and my mind goes blank and then I’m tongue-tied and I don’t know what to say…which results in me feeling worse and then I stressed myself out, wondering why it’s easy for others to articulate their views.
I write better than I speak. Words just seemed to flow effortlessly when I write…but it’s different when I speak. Something I need to work on. I know I can do it, I am just not confident enough and I care too much about how people will judge me.
I’ve got another car to drive now so Iris is driving to work herself and I drive to work on my own. It frees up a lot of time and I should be able to slot in some cooking time from tomorrow onwards.
My body and well-being has deteriorated from eating outside too much. It’s time I balance it with some home-cooked food. I’m a bit rusty now that I’ve not cooked for a while but I should really get started. I would like to cook nutritious meals for Iris as well so that she can focus better at work!
I’m thankful that I was able to remain calm and collected today.
Hoping tomorrow will be as good as today, if not, BETTER! 🙂
I am not feeling very comfortable with the thought of that a new week starts tomorrrow. It’s nearer to the day/thing I dread. I know once it’s over, I will be very relieved but till then I will feel a lump in the throat, my mind not thinking right and worrying about things that I don’t know what to worry about. It’s scary.
I’m supposed to be doing research now but I’m going nowhere because I’m not sure how to even begin in the first place. Uncertainty…I don’t like this. I’m going to go rest now, do something to take my mind off this since worrying about it doesn’t help me but making me feeling worse. I will do my final preparation tomorrow and whatever will be, will be.
God, please give me the strength and courage to go through this. I will try my best.