Month: June 2010

I’m feeling so relieved today, after worrying for the past few days. The moment I got home after dinner, I immediately dived onto my sofa and watch “Three Brothers”, another Korean series…and coincidentally it was the last 2 episodes I was watching. The story ended with a happy ending.

Today is not just a normal day at work. I managed to get out of my shell a little but I reckon I can do more than that. I’m very self-conscious and I’m very in need of others approval so there are times, I mind my words and actions too much. While others are confident to be themselves, I still remain in the invisible shell I build for myself. No one sees the shell but me.

It is not something that happened overnight. It’s something I’ve been trying to overcome throughout the years. I don’t know if it’s my nature or it’s going to be like that forever. Maybe I”ll come out of that shell and I want to but I don’t know how long it’s gonna take.

There is nothing scary about talking to people you don’t know. But for me, I’m so afraid at talking to new people that I get so stressed up and my mind goes blank and then I’m tongue-tied and I don’t know what to say…which results in me feeling worse and then I stressed myself out, wondering why it’s easy for others to articulate their views.

I write better than I speak. Words just seemed to flow effortlessly when I write…but it’s different when I speak. Something I need to work on. I know I can do it, I am just not confident enough and I care too much about how people will judge me.

I’ve got another car to drive now so Iris is driving to work herself and I drive to work on my own. It frees up a lot of time and I should be able to slot in some cooking time from tomorrow onwards.

My body and well-being has deteriorated from eating outside too much. It’s time I balance it with some home-cooked food. I’m a bit rusty now that I’ve not cooked for a while but I should really get started. I would like to cook nutritious meals for Iris as well so that she can focus better at work!

I’m thankful that I was able to remain calm and collected today.

Hoping tomorrow will be as good as today, if not, BETTER! 🙂

I am not feeling very comfortable with the thought of  that a new week starts tomorrrow. It’s nearer to the day/thing I dread. I know once it’s over, I will be very relieved but till then I will feel a lump in the throat, my mind not thinking right and worrying about things that I don’t know what to worry about. It’s scary.

I’m supposed to be doing research now but I’m going nowhere because I’m not sure how to even begin in the first place. Uncertainty…I don’t like this. I’m going to go rest now, do something to take my mind off this since worrying about it doesn’t help me but making me feeling worse. I will do my final preparation tomorrow and whatever will be, will be.

God, please give me the strength and courage to go through this. I will try my best.

I’ve been watching movies every week for the past few weeks. Prince of Persia, The Karate Kid, Knight and Day and today I watched Toy Story 3.

I liked the bear but it turned out to be character I didn’t expect him to be since he’s huggable and smells like strawberries!

I absolutely adore the “Peas-in-a-pod”. So cute.

Rex, the tyrannosaurus, is also one of my favourite. Always in panic mode.

Buzz, very funny!!

I like the Spanish rendition of “You’re Got a Friend in Me” – (Hay Un Amigo En Mi) by the Gypsy Kings.

Bonnie, the little girl you would adore, just so cute with her toys and imaginary “toy stories”.

I like how the toys appear fake but at the same time, they appear very much alive.

The ending is the bomb. Touching.

When Andy had to part with his favourite toys, I thought about me and Ducky. Ducky has been with me for a freaking 10 years. I still like her all the same and will still like her all the same. To infinity and beyond!

It is an extraordinary day for me because I cannot stop eating. Hunger pangs throughout the day. Had lunch at 12 and by the time it was 2:30pm, my stomach was whispering to me, it’s turning empty. I was trying to hold on to it but decided I couldn’t wait any longer so I had tea at about 3. Iris felt like having Korean noodles for dinner so a friend suggested a place and so I went.

I had a very yummy and satisfying Korean meal. Will definitely go back again! It’s Twins Korean Restaurant, Solaris Mont Kiara. Jalan Solaris 4 to be exact, next to Killiney Kopitiam. Pricing was alright for Korean food…reasonable. You can get a meal for RM15.  What I liked about it is there was no tax or whatsoever. What you see in the menu is what you pay. They serve you a bottle of ice water without asking for it. 7 little plates of side dishes, you would get side dishes if you frequent a Korean eatery. These are also re-filled by the waiter without even asking. And while we were finishing our main meal, the waiter gave us another side dish, different from the 7 that we already got. It’s kerang (shellfish, clam, I don’t know what’s it in English). I thought it would be smelly and all, stinky, just like a kerang would taste like…but surprisingly, it doesn’t stink and it was just so nice.

The fun doesn’t stop there. We were given dessert too. It’s a sweet kind of drink…it’s either rice or barley..but I liked that too. The bill came and it was just RM15 for one meal each.

Happy like shit.

It’s 12:03am…and I’m… you know….a little bit hungry. Time for some oatmilk!

Ducky is back and I’m glad she’s still in her original size and shape.

Vacuumed and mopped the floor again today because it still feels dusty. And even now I can still feel some dust here and there. I don’t know how many times I’ll need to clean. It’s never-ending!

Changed the bedsheet and did another round of laundry. It’ll take 2-3 rounds of laundry before I can clear the backlog.

I’ve never cleaned so much in a span of 3 days.

I’m sick of eating out. Hoping to cook and eat at home for dinner soon, that’s when I stop being a driver.

Today I left house at 8am to send pappy to KL Sentral for check-in, then dropped him off at Jln Duta. Next, send Iris to work and finally driving myself to work.

I’m impressed and pay salute to husbands or wives or anyone who send their loved ones to work and then pick them up after that on a daily basis. It takes a lot of dedication and patience.

I’m getting used to it as this is my third week.

Good night!

Attended a Punjabi wedding today. Dinner and dance. My first time attending one so it was an eye-opener and a pleasant experience. A lot of singing and dancing. Very pretty Punjabi ladies and very colourful Punjabi suits.

Came home and it was 11pm. The fixing of the water pipes was more dramatic than I expected. Holes were drilled through the dining area, bedroom, toilets so you could imagine the dust it has created. The whole house was like covered with dust. Everything that I touched was layered with dust. Yikes!

I couldn’t stand it so I vacuumed, mopped 2 rounds, did 2 rounds of laundry, folded a pile of clothes, and I feel so exhausted now. I only managed to finish everything close to 2am. I think I’m crazy. I don’t know where I found the zest to clean so late at night.

The good thing with the fix was water power is stronger. Much stronger compared to the years I’ve been staying here. That shows how things were wrong from the start.

The bad side is I’m duck-less. Ducky I presumed was covered with dust even though it wasn’t visible to the eyes because the book lying next to it was dusty!

Ducky is in a laundry shop for her dry cleaning. She hasn’t bathe for years. Haha. Hoping to get her back tomorrow so that she’ll wake up next to me every morning like she usually does.

The pipe burst and instead of my house getting flooded, my neighbour’s house was affected. This is due to the design of the pipe that is linked at the top floor so since I’m at the ground floor, I’m not affected even though the pipe that burst belongs to us.

The water supply to our house has been cut until the pipe is fixed. That would mean a day without water. After work and dinner, we came back, packed our stuff and went to the toilet near the swimming pool to have our bath. Thank God for this toilet!!! Brushed my teeth too before coming back. There is no water but the water wasn’t too cold. In fact, it was quite refreshing. So yea, my life has started to get a little bit more interesting.

Tomorrow we’ll be washing our face and brushing our teeth with the mineral water we got since I don’t  like the idea of wearing my pyjamas, getting to the pool toilet with bleary eyes, bad hair and a stinky mouth. 90 cents for a big bottle. I’ve never bought mineral water that cheap. Hopefully we’ll have the water supply back tomorrow.

Mummy was worried about having no water and she’s not here at the moment.

“Can or not oh?” She asked.

“Ma, we have survival skills, ok?”

(Read in reverse order)

I’m iPhone-less at the moment because I left it in the car and Iris has taken the car so I am missing my little baby.

I’ve been feeling rather bored for the last 2 weeks and feeling very low. I was so bored, I actually cleaned up the living room, folded a mountain full of clothesI need to get out of this mud and be chirpy again.

An ex-schoolmate just added me in Facebook and looking at her photos, I got to learn that she’s a mother now. Too many weddings, too many pregnancies, too many babies, that is happening so I can’t help but feel the pinch. Mum’s also asking again, if I’m out dating. Who am I going out with? I said a bunch of girls. She asked me why. Because I just don’t happen to have a bunch of guy friends. Because the people I have worked with are mostly girls….WHY AR?? The people I work with now are mostly girls too. There are guys but they are all taken.

But I love my girl friends…

But I also wished I had guy friends to hang out with. If you were to ask me when was the last time I actually hang out with a guy, I really don’t know lor….because it seems like I’ve not gone out with someone for a hundred years. And for the record, I have been single for 2 years, the longest in history. Not sure to say if I’m impressed with that. For as long as I have my braces on, that’s how long I’ve been single.

My ex left me because I had braces, I had a new job, I cut my hair short. Maybe it’s not because of that…but it happened when I did all those things…so allow me to just ramble.