Category: Life

I think I pulled a muscle, I don’t know when exactly. Whenever I sneeze or cough, I need to hold my right breast to cushion the pain. When I breathe really hard, I can sense slight pain as well.

Happy World Milk Day!

Lying at the same spot on the bed, those tears that stained my face last night is now replaced with a sheet facial mask tonight. Listening to my current favourite song, Jay Chou’s 超人不会飞 (Superman Can’t Fly) while I type this. I liked the melody of the song having heard it on the radio a couple of times and when I read through the lyrics, I liked it even more. Jay is brilliant! No one writes songs like him.

Went to the temple today. 求了个签 (seek a stick for divination guidance). My first experience because the temple I went today had such divination sticks. A bit skeptic and didn’t really want to seek any because I was afraid if I will read anything bad..and I’d rather choose not to know anything. Iris was excited about her first experience too and persuaded me in getting one.

So I did…and I feel better. Not that my problems are solved but my problems are heard.

I will be brave.

The past is back to haunt me. Something that makes me feel miserable by just thinking about it. I’ve always been avoiding and pushing the thought back to the back of mind everytime it appears. That’s because I don’t have the courage and strength to do it all alone.

This time around I have to put an end to it. I’m not sure how I will go through this. Sometimes i just wish I have someone to watch over me and protect me while I’m at it. But then there are just things that you got’ve to face and do it on your own. No one’s going to help me if I don’t step up and allow myself to help myself.

I’ve been trying to act strong for the past 2 years or more. I think I’ve done well but there are a few times where I’ll break down like today. It’s 3.37am, just finished watching a fun movie, was laughing 1 hour ago but now lying on the bed with my face stained with tears, typing this post with my iPhone.

I can’t sleep if I don’t write it down. This is probably the first time i’m crying in the year 2010.

One thing that I enlightened myself with, a thought that came across the mind…is that I think my heart is quite scarred. Giving out your heart to the wrong hands is very fatal indeed. You may have the most sincere intention but it doesn’t guarantee you’ll receive the same.

It is even scarier to think of how a person can delicately treat you so well and detailed, to only discover that the same person can just turn around and walk away, with no need reason explained and no consideration.

Sometimes I wonder whether it was all just a plot. A plot that certainly took time to realise. So well-crafted. Because I’ve analysed and analysed it all over but I still don’t get a clue. You see, that’s the thing that is killing me too. The need to know but never would I get to know. So I tell myself there’s no need to know but no matter how I keep that curiosity buried deep inside, it had it’s way to resurface.

I don’t have to try to think about because it comes hit you when you least expect it, or maybe there’s some kind of hidden schedule that makes it happen.

I’ve learnt my lesson and I’m also more protective about myself. I’m not sure if i’m too protective to actually open my heart to someone in the near or far future. In fact, I may already have my heart locked unknowingly now.

I’m just afraid, afraid, just afraid. I know time heals but I don’t know if it applies to this one I’m having issues with now. Maybe it’s not really a big problem but I’ve never gotten into situation like this so it’s still big for me. The biggest I have for as long as I’ve lived.

I know if I can beat this, nothing else can be harder. Time does heal, perhaps I need a longer time. I will heal myself no matter how dreadful it is.

One step at a time. No need to be ashamed. You’re not the only one with problems. Problems can be solved. Big problems are hard to solve but they can still be solved.

I’ve come so far, I should strive on.

It’s 4.07am, I’m tired.

Thanks for hearing me out.

My hands got itchy so here I am with a new theme. Functional but still work in progress, tiny parts to fix here and there.

This blog also has a new look when viewed from a mobile device. I’m using WPtouch, a mobile theme for a WordPress site. Very neatly presented. I’m going to try out other applications as well until I find the perfect one.

I don’t really feel like sleeping tonight after working on the new theme for the past 4 hours. I can’t wait for the 2 working days to end too. I need the long weekend.

Sometimes you need to fall sick, recover and then start all over again…this time refreshed, healed and ready to take on the world again. My exact feelings at this point of time.

I know my cough is coming to an end with a tiny bit of phlegm left lurking around. They are evil because I will get this sudden attack where I can’t stop coughing for a good few minutes, tears coming out of my eyes, face all red and my breath goes haywire.

Got a few things fixed over the weekend. The brake light of my car on the driver’s side wasn’t working so I visited the nearest service centre, knowing it’s just going to take a change of bulb to get it working again. But what happened was as the mechanic changed the bulb, the ones that were working (left and middle) stopped working altogether. I was with no brake lights.

They said it’s because of the brakes switch so they got that fixed. What doesn’t make sense is why it just suddenly stopped functioning when the guy changed the bulb. I didn’t like the way some of the guys were looking at me and my sister as well. It’s like they’ve never seen species called “female” in their entire life. I don’t usually go to this service centre and I know very well I’m just going to stick to my usual service centre because the guys over there are kind and they are not dodgy.

Watched Shrek Forever After. It was alright but my all time favourite will always be Shrek 1.

Fixed the hair too. Cut it about one inch shorter, feels so great now. Cannot imagine myself with long hair anymore and I don’t know if that’s normal. I’m obsessed with my hair being short.

De-clutter again and more work in progress, considering the amount of clutter I’ve got.

Watched 16 episodes of Cinderella’s Stepsister..had wanted to continue watching but there’s only 16 episodes on the website out of the 20 so I’ve got to wait. It gets better towards the end with twist of events. I like.

Now…a good night’s  sleep for a fantastic tomorrow.

I love you.

It’s not a good week for me, health wise.

Been coughing a lot and real hard because I wanted to get all the phlegms out as soon as I can. The only good thing is I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO SPIT OUT PHLEGM. Throughout the years, I’ve only blown my nose to get rid of them, it’s not easy because most of the time, it appears at the throat when you want it out so badly. So, here I’m announcing that at the age of 28, I finally learned the art of spitting my own phlegm…that is after many failed attempts that resulted me having to vomit a little.

Aside the stomach muscle that hurts, my shoulder hurts now too. It just suddenly came and strike me in the office in the afternoon. Came back home and had dinner but eating was painful because shoulders were hurting even more. Just doing nothing hurts too…to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore, I drove out alone to get myself a Yoko-Yoko. I love the burning sensation and the pain has subsided a little.

Tomorrow will definitely be a better day. I’ve been looking like crap for the past 2 days. I’ve been going to the toilet a lot too. Every 30 minutes, I’ll be walking in and out of the toilet just to throw out phlegm. I cannot believe I went out with the hair that I have today. It’s a bad hair day. Half of it looked normal, the other half looked like a worn toothbrush. But because I’m not well, I didn’t really care. When you are sick, I think it’s best to look sick.

Been watching a Korean series – Cinderella’s Stepsister. It’s a bit confusing and difficult to understand at the beginning but I guess that’s what drove me to follow through it. That will be what I’ll be doing until I finish the series. 20 episodes altogether and I just finish Episode 9.

I’m thankful to have Iris cooking dinner for us since I got sick this week. Ada soup lagi tu.

dongsaeng, saranghaeyo.

I’m having this sudden attack of dry cough since last night. I have this tickling sensation in my throat and I cannot stop coughing. My voice is now coarse and whenever I cough, it affects my tummy, it doesn’t really hurt but coughing is using my stomach muscle….and I’m always hungry today.

Coughed my way through while I was watching the Uber cup finals. Awesome fighting spirit by the Korean team. I LIKE!!

It is getting better now by the night because I’ve been drinking a few glass of hot water. Took honey as well. I’m going to take another spoon of honey before I head to bed.

*cough cough*

I finally get to sleep in my own room again after being a nomad in my own house for the past 2 months.

I’ve been sharing the room with my sister so that Mummy could have my room. I’m also staying up late tonight, just to surf the Internet, to have my own space and personal time. No nagging at this hour. You don’t know how much just sitting in front of the computer, surfing, reading stuff online, blogging, makes me sane.

Tomorrow I want to go shopping. I need SHOES.

For the first time ever, my credit card statement is showing zero amount. That’s because I did not get the replacement card to replace the one that is expired 2 months ago until recently….so I didn’t spend anything on the card…but that doesn’t mean I didn’t spend because I spent them all on cash. HAHA.

I’m going to chill this weekend and do whatever I want to do, even if it means doing nothing!! For the first time since January 2010, I actually managed to leave the workplace with a clean slate, meaning no pending tasks that will loom over my head over the weekend. And then I clocked out one hour in style today, to grab a quick dinner with my sister, to skip attending an event and to choose to watch Thomas Cup semi-finals at home. One hour is nothing compared to the extra hours I’ve spent so even though it felt weird leaving while the others are still around, I didn’t quite care leh.

Had someone talking back to me today but IT’S FINE. I will take it as a lesson on how to handle such situations in the future. I was caught off-guard and I was stunned because I wasn’t expecting any of this from someone I’ve been very patient with. It teaches me that sometimes being nice doesn’t pay off so I won’t say I’ll be cruel but I’m just going to be firm and make sure my instructions are clearly understood.

For now….I shall say good night and have a fantastic weekend. I’ll be watching the Thomas Cup finals this Sunday to see if Lin Dan is going to dance again!