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I’ve got my salary today for the month of October even though technically I’ve only worked for 9 days.

So nice. So nice. So nice.

This is in conjunction with Deepavali and Hari Raya.

:-“

Malunya aku hari ini!

Colleague and I were curious about another new colleague who just came onboard because we didn’t see him eating in the pantry nor did he went out for lunch. Tak payah makan ke?

And he seemed like he didn’t have any friends. Very kesian, ok? The thing I fear most is when I step into a new working environment on the first day, no one brings me to have lunch with them.

So, I sent him an email to ask him where did he have his lunch. Of course, I briefly introduced myself so that he has an idea who this girl is, tak pasal-pasal send him an email.

My colleague and I wanted to seek information so that if he’s alone, we could at least ask him to join along.

But I waited and waited. There was no reply.

Possibility #1: He didn’t check mail for the whole day.

Possibility #2: He’s shy.

Possibility #3: Aku menyampah!

So, I told my colleague that I’ll give him one week to reply my mail.

Fact #1-3: I’m crazy!

Today I emailed to my first ex-boss. As you grow older, you’ll have a few more exes to add to your collection. It can be boyfriends, colleagues and bosses.

When I left the previous workplace because it didn’t work out for me, I wrote to him too. Not that I like to spread unhappy news around but I just felt like telling him.

And he was very kind to suggest a place that I could try my luck. But luck wasn’t on my side at that particular time.

He also wrote me a very good testimonial, which is one of the reasons I wrote to him today because I wanted to thank him again. The main reason is of course to tell him I’ve found a job.

And guess what? I’ve got a reply already. And as always, his email is a pleasant read.

I like going to work even though driving home today took me 2 hours and 15 minutes.

Every morning while driving to work. Rudy and JJ (hitz.fm) keep me company. Sometimes I laugh myself to their Gotcha Call and “Say It To Me Baby”.

Every evening while driving back home. I tune in to MY FM. It’s nice. Maybe because the duration of driving is longer for me now so the radio helps.

Colleague is very kind to get me MP3s to listen during work. She even lent me her earphone. For the first time in such a long time (even though it has only been a year plus), I don’t need to listen to the dreaded ringing tone of the office phone and no need to talk to people I don’t want to talk to and no need to force myself to talk nicely even though I feel like strangling them.

It is so much peace here. I’m very happy I made the change.

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Happy Birthday to Alexander!

Happy Birthday to Tim! I don’t know if you received my SMS.

Anyway, just got back from Merlimau and it was great to see Grandpa again.

Mum went into his room and asked, “Who am I?”

He spoke my mother’s name.

“Who’s this?” Mum pointing to cousin sister.

He spoke my cousin sister’s name too. This is achievement because he didn’t even think about it. He just spoke.

“What about her?” Mum, pointing to me.

He looked at me. Studied me but he didn’t know who I am.

Mummy reminded him who I am and it sort of registered to him for a while.

He was then asked again who we are and this time he thought I’m Iris because he kept saying, “Wei Wei”.

He seemed happy because Mummy said he’s smiling. And after that, he studied me even longer.

Grandpa is not as talkative as he used to be but he would answer when asked. I was sitting with Mummy and Aunty who was looking after the shop (the shop is in the house) and attending to the customers.

He suddenly said, “Geled”

Geled (pronounced something like gelek) is my name. Grandpa couldn’t pronounce my name “Grace” properly so it ended up as “Geled” and has since then being used to call me. I don’t know why Mum didn’t want to use my Chinese name so that it would be easier for him to call me. But I guess he wanted to call me like how mum would call me so even though he couldn’t pronounce it properly, he still tried to and I think that is so dear.

He drew the bowl he was holding towards me. Know what he did? He was offering me grapes. So happy!

Later in the afternoon, he came out of the room. I smiled at him. Know what he did? He hit me on the back lightly. It’s like he’s trying to say, “Hey, apa senyum-senyum?”

Funny!We laughed and he laughed.

I have never stayed just for a night at Grandpa’s place because the minimum we would always stay is a week. Mummy used to fly back every year, bringing me and Iris to visit Grandpa during our school holidays and it’s so fun to be in the kampung. We walk with the roosters, hens and go collecting chicken eggs. It’s also a place where I learnt how to ride the bicycle, where I fell too (it hurt so much!) and where my uncle would let me ride with him on the motorbike to town to get ice cream for me at night.

It’s not as fun as it used to be anymore after Grandma passed away. Grandpa was sad and depressed and he was feeling so lonely. He got sick and it’s only now that he’s starting to do well again.

Before we left today, he was sitting on the lazy chair, watching us as we packed.

Mummy then told me to give him some money. Why have I never thought of that?

I took the RM100 which Mummy gave to me and I took his hand and placed it in his palms. He was a little surprise I suppose and he didn’t say anything. It’s as if he’s thinking deeply.

I bid farewell and went into the car. It was then Mummy wanted me to get the newspaper and so I had to go into the house again and this time it was only me and Grandpa.

As I was searching for the papers, he said, “Xie Xie.” Thank you.

It felt so warm. I like the feeling and now my eyes is filled with a tear or two as I’m writing this.

I told him to take good care of himself and I’ll come to visit him again.

I love the fact that I’m getting closer with my colleague sitting in front of me. It’s so easy getting along with her. Probably because we are somewhat similar in many ways.

Sometimes I send her home after work. It’s not that she stays near me. But she stays somewhere near the workplace. It was just a natural gesture for me to ask her if she wanted a lift. And I feel happy sending her back. And I know it feels happy to be offered a ride home because when I had my first job, I had someone to send me home for a couple of months before I got a car.

I was telling Mum about it and she wasn’t really happy about it. Because she says I ought to come back early. Even 5-10 minutes earlier is good. I shouldn’t be too kind. That people would take advantage of me.

But I’m happy about sending her back so if I happen to send her home again. I’m not going to tell Mum.

Like how when I was in school, I wanted so much to take the bus like everyone else but I wasn’t allowed to because it’s dangerous and bla bla bla. I know I was lucky to have mum fetch me home and sending me to school everyday without fail but taking the bus seemed interesting to me. I was very curious and I wanted to feel and experience how taking the bus is like.

So, you know what I did? I curi-curi take bus.

And Mum drives me to everywhere. Let’s say if I’ve got lunch with my classmates in town after school, she would pick me up from school and send me to town. My friends who happened to tag along would be happy.

But you know what? I have always been observing others walking down the slope from the school to the town. And I wanted to walk like them too. It requires so much of effort and assurance and even had to ask for permission from Mum if I could walk from school to town.

To summarise the above scenario, I envied those who took bus and walked. And the other way round, my friends envied me to have someone to send me around.

I am weird I know.

Writer will be off to Melaka tomorrow and will be back on Sunday. Going to visit my Grandpa whom I have not visited for a long time. The last time I saw him, he didn’t recognise me. He lived in his own world and shut himself most of the time in the room. It was later found out that the medication he took affected him.

Slowly, he recovered when another doctor cut down on his medicine. So hopefully this time around, he remembers me lah. Because I’m the only grand daughter of his that used to write him letters. Letters as in I think 2 only. Hahaha. And he didn’t reply me by writing the letter himself. He got another grand daughter of his, staying with him to reply to me. I was in Sandakan then.

But of course it signed, “Grandpa”.

It was better if I just stayed home and rest. But then it wouldn’t look good to take MC during my first week into the new job. So my nose and me, decided to sleep a little longer before I drove to work.

And it wasn’t a good decision because it took me an hour to get to work. Sometimes I feel like I’m driving overseas just to get to work. The drive seems long to me at times, especially in the mornings and I feel like I’m driving without realising I’m driving. Yeah, it’s just one kind of feeling that’s hard to describe. And my baby – the car, she sure knows how to drink. Getting thirsty very fast.

Someone was so kind today to take order for food delivery. He suggested that there’s porridge that I could order and so I had porridge today. Hati aku tersentuh.

Sometimes it’s small gestures like this that melts hearts.

When the porridge came, it was of the wrong order. My order for porridge turned into rice. And my colleague’s order of rice was turned into porridge. And she was kind enough to let me have the porridge. Heart is smiling.

Received a phone call from a friend from Australia last night. I love receiving overseas calls.

Received a call when I got home. He thanked me for hearing him out even though things just didn’t seem to went well. When I was talking and listening to him last night, I could hear him cry. And when a guy cries, I know he’s really really sad. Gracie had to provide some words of wisdom and as I spoke, I could feel my voice starting to crack because it suddenly brought back memories when I used to be his age. I’ve hurt a guy so very deep. I made him cry. And knowing that he cried, I cried even more. When you’re young, you can be very stupid but more often than not, the feelings, they are very true.

So, I would ask myself if I could ever love that way again.

Just now, when he called, he sounded better. He sounded sure. I felt better too.

Received another call just now and it’s from my cousin sister who’s asking if she could stay over for a week. This girl is very outstanding. Very confident. Speaks very well. A go-getter basically. I enjoy looking at her grow.

Good night to the other noses who are reading this. My nose and I have decided that it’s time for bed.

It’s Casual Friday tomorrow and finally after so long, I can wear denim to work!

Have a jolly good day!

I’m going to fall sick soon or I’m already falling sick. Sometimes, you just don’t know what I’m talking about, right? Cos sometimes I don’t know what I’m talking about too.
It has been cold in the office and I’m down with flu, some cough and looks like a fever is going to hit me soon but I pray that I won’t fall terribly sick because I just started my new job.

I had the weirdest lunch today but I regret I can’t possibly write about it now. My colleague and I were seen typing furiously on the keyboard and we were smiling stupidly for so long just staring at the screen, trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

Received a call for a job opportunity but I couldn’t hear her well and when she called back, I was driving. And she hasn’t called me since then.

Received another offer too which was supposed to come earlier. It’s always like that. When you want it, it doesn’t come. But once you have it, more would come. But it’s good because it shows that there’s hope. And that being me with no prior working experience in this field, so think of that it would be like if I gained more experience. Opportunities are everywhere. You just got to meet it at the right time and right place. And the most important thing of all, to have faith…even when it seems hopeless.

Luckily or unluckily, I can only choose one and I think I’m just going to stick to this because I’m feeling fine. There will not be a perfect place but this is enough to keep me occupied and happy.