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So many things to do..don’t know where to start and what to start with. Normal reaction: look for the computer, sit in front of it, surf aimlessly, looked at the clock and then talk to my ownself, this cannot be it.

Uhmm…let’s see first thing I think I should do…make apple + carrot juice.

Bye!

The past keeps coming back.

Attended a wedding and the groom looked a lot like my ex. It’s weird really because I was staring at him for so long and then I had to act cool. I don’t know what’s with me and this ex. I can be all okay, like I’ve long forgotten about him but come one fine Sunday morning, as I open my eyes from a nice sleep, “bang!” he comes to my mind. Aku pun tak tahu lah….effect-nya agak mendalam.

Then, I saw a tagged photo of another ex with a girl and upon further clicking..it appears that they are in a relationship. Effect ni tak mendalam sangat tapi I ada juga lah saya menganalisis dan mentafsir senario ini. Lepas tu, saya menerima hakikat dan berjalan menuju ke hadapan.

I was working on a project for the whole morning and afternoon. When you’re working on something that you are passionate about, it doesn’t feel like work at all. It’s really a lot of work and there is so much to be done that I wished I had more time….but that wouldn’t be possible…so I’m doing whatever I can and hope this project will see the day of light as soon as possible. I’m very much excited to share with people whom I know about this but I am refraining myself from doing so because I would prefer people to see the actual thing than just me talking about it but nothing materialises.

I have so many ideas gushing to my mind, so much so that I’ve got to pen it down so that I can capture all of them. I may not be able to use all of them now, at least not all one time but I know it’ll come in handy next time. I like times like these…when I know I still have ideas because it feels like I haven’t been using my brains lately. And when I have ideas, I’ll play them in my head, imagining them one by one then I’ll be smiling to myself.

Had dinner with a girlfriend who drives all the way from very far. She’s always the one coming to look for me instead of me looking for her. Everytime we meet up every 3-4 weeks or so, she’ll definitely ask me the one million dollar question and I’ll always give her the same answer, followed by stories to further explain the situation.

“Grace, let me teach you. You must go out more, you must talk more, you must make yourself presentable. SURE CAN GET ONE!”

I was waiting excitedly for 12 midnight so that I could grab some good deals on AirAsia. It didn’t turn out quite how I expected it to be. I keep getting the same error message as I searched for the destination I wanted to go to. I tried for 30 minutes and then gave up.

I woke up early today to try my luck again but I’m still seeing the same error message. It’s 9:30pm now and I’m still getting the same error. Looks like I’m not meant to travel!

Hari ini sungguh membosankan…that I was telling my neighbour I need to go to the toilet for a walk. Whenever I feel the need to jump or make funny faces, I’ll head to the toilet. Or I’ll do super short nap. Close my eyes for a few minutes until my head starts to drop, which reminds me I’m in the toilet and I need to get out. It helps to feel refreshed for a bit. I hope tomorrow is going to be a bit more exciting lor. I cannot do this everyday. The only consolation I have is when I think about my project, my dream.

I’m getting old.

Sometimes I’m so blur.

Sometimes my mind’s a blank.

I tend to get forgetful lately.

I don’t think I can go on with remembering things to do on my head now. I got to list it down or it’ll never see the light of day. I’m not kidding and for the first time in my life, I think I’m aging. I even got to make sure I list down or actually tell myself repeatedly to eat fruit or go make that fruit juice or I’ll never go reach my hand to the refrigerator. I think I’m lazy too.

You know like how your skin starts to age when you’re pass 25. Mine’s sensitive…like some exposure to the sun will cause break-out. I’m using a particular brand which worked fine on my skin and then out of a sudden, it feels like it’s immuned to your skin so it doesn’t really do the job anymore. There are so many freaking products out there and trust me, you have no idea how much money I’ve spent in hoping to find the dream product for my skin. My skin can be a pain in the ass. Some people can survive with just any product picked from the pharmacy/departmental store…but my skin can’t. So, I’m tossing it all away…those brands that you normally get to see and I’m turning to use organic skincare. It’s my second day so far…and I hope this time, my skin will be healthy.

I know products alone won’t help so I’m looking closely at what I eat.

Over the weekend, the places that I happened to go to served terrible food. I don’t know why. But anyway, it was one of the most productive and eventful weekends I’ve had so far. It’s one step closer in realising what I would like to do. I have no experience in this and I know nothing about it so I’m doing this with a friend. And we go in blur together, asking stupid questions (questions we think people should already know but we don’t, hence we think it’s stupid…but it’s actually quite normal), acting like we’re cool and steady when in fact, we are so afraid deep down. In some ways, it’s exciting. It’s like I’m doing “Do one thing everyday that scares you”. The only difference is…I did many things that scared me in one day.

I really really want this to work out and I know I’ll make it work.

I’ve listened to this song on the radio but I couldn’t figure out who was the singer until someone told me it was sung by Lee Hom. It’s a very nice rendition of MJ’s song. I will be repeating this song for an entire week and I just wanted to share this with you.

4 Nov is Sesame Street Day and Cookie Monster was on google.com. So comel! I don’t know how long he’ll be there but you can try!

Today is quite an awesome day. I hugged Mummy goodbye and I’ll be seeing her in a week’s time.

I think I’m beginning to like my haircut…and I’m beginning to notice people with short hair now. I think people who can pull it off with super short hair..like a guy’s hair for a girl…is very attractive. I don’t think I have reached that level yet…to cut it super super short.

Today I talked.

a.n.d.i.a.m.q.u.i.t.e.h.a.p.p.y

My name is Foo Foo and I have a new friend. His name is Wombat. Wombat stands with me throughout the night (and also day) by Gracie’s bedside. I cannot see Wombat when the light is switched off because he is so brown, so dark. Sometimes I think he looks more like a mouse than a wombat.

Wombat is a foreigner. He hails from Australia. He is still very new to me but I will spend time to know him better. I wonder if he likes carrots.

I walked into the office, hoping no one would see me.

I’m crazy and this is impossible because I’m a walking human.

I still cannot get over the fact that I have the haircut I have now.

But really, it’s not too bad from the opinions I’ve gathered. It’s just me who’s thinking it looks really bad.

Whatever it is, the hair will look like the hair now.

I will only look forward to the day it’s longer again and not so puffy anymore.

I don’t know if I wrote about this but I actually made a statement many months ago when I had short hair that by the time my hair grows long, it’ll also be the time I meet the right one. Looks like it’s gonna take awhile.

Of late, I look sad and blue. I can feel how I look. I look bored at work and I have this constant feeling of constipation going on. I don’t know how to describe this but it’s like I’m wrapped up and so enclosed, I don’t know how to let myself out.

I need someone to save me.

Went for a hair cut again today. Had wanted the hair just to be a little bit shorter and to have some shape on the back because it is too flat. It turned out way much shorter than expected and full of shape because now it’s round and puffy. I’m not used to this and I don’t know what’s wrong with me of wanting my hair to go shorter and shorter and now…I think it’s too short. Haha!

I don’t know how many times I’ve been walking to the mirror to stare at my hair and then to accidentally walk to the mirror again to check out my hair. Macam perempuan gila!

Now I just can’t wait to wash my hair to see if it will still appear puffy after that. tomorrow tomorrow.