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I took a cab to LCCT today. The taxi driver is Pappy’s new friend. My dad, he talks to every possible taxi driver when he gets on taxis. His favourite ice breaking line would be “Where are you from?” and then when the taxi driver answers him of a place, he would think of some MP or Minister or some political figure from that place and get a topic started on that. It’s interesting to listen to the views of these taxi drivers. Some are very knowledgeable, you know why? Cos when you don’t see them drive, they read newspapers.

How did Pappy met this new taxi driver friend of his? Pappy took a cab from LCCT one day and this guy asked him if he has had lunch. Pappy said no and before you know it, the taxi driver took my dad to Dengkil to have “chap fan”. And coincidentally, he brought Pappy to my favourite “chap fan” stall in Dengkil. I really like that place. It’s located at the corner of Medan Selera Dengkil. Both corners have “chap fan” stalls so look out for the one that says “Peck Wan”. And guess what? The taxi driver treated Pappy to lunch.

And you know what? He treated me lunch today too. He brought me to a place I never knew existed. It’s located opposite of Concorde Inn, where you will see a board that says “Charterfield” and there will be some rows of shop lots. If I’m not mistaken and if my memory is working perfectly fine, road name is Jalan KLIA 1/60, which is the main road leading towards the rows of shop lots. I don’t remember the name of the coffee shop but there’s only one Chinese coffee shop around that place.

We had Wan Tan Mee which he claims to be one of the best Wan Tan Mee around. It was quite nice with big, chewy char siew. Throughout lunch and the ride from my house to the airport, he talked to me about his job, his wife, his 4-year old son and his unborn baby daughter. Quite a nice man actually. Speaks Hokkien but we spoke in Cantonese since I’m not fluent in Hokkien.

When I reached LCCT, I was just in time to check in, visit the toilet and then proceeded to the Departure Hall. The airport is crowded because of the school holidays.

I’m really getting sleepy writing this. Timestamp as of typing up to this point is 11:08pm. I’m going to just breeze through from this point onwards.

The plane took off slightly later than scheduled as there was a missing passenger on board so they had to retrieve his luggage and take it off the plane before we took off. Managed to get a seat next to the aisle, middle seat was left empty, a Malay girl was sitting next to the window. It was a perfect seat, not too cramped and I enjoy my privacy. The only bad thing was it was FRIGGING cold. I don’t know where the cold air was coming from because I had already turned off the air conditioning above me and also the one next to me, where no one is sitting. And because I think I’m strong enough, I didn’t bring any jacket so I had to endure 2 hours and 45 minutes of winter. But fret not, I’m still alive and am very hot now. After 2 hours and 45 minutes, I’m home. Can you believe that? I’m home.

I like that sight of the simple airport as we landed because it has been that way since I’ve started flying. And I hope it would remain like that. Those words SANDAKAN imprinted on the building, reminds me I’m home.

Pappy the dearest came to pick me up in his Toyota Land Cruiser, otherwise affectionately known as “Ninja”. Don’t ask me why but we refer that Land Cruiser here as Ninja. The newer and more expensive models, we call them Ninja King. I don’t know how that name come about but I sat on Pappy’s Ninja and I felt tall. Nice!

Went to have tea with Pappy. Having endured winter, I was feeling a little hungry. Went to have Teh Susu, otherwise affectionately known as “Teh Nai”. We have got to be specific when we order our drinks. Like you can just order Milo but here we always add a syllable after the name of the drink. It’s either Nai for milk, C, O, Kosong or Kau. And you can have Milo Kau Kau Ping.

I can go on and on but it’s 11:24pm now and I’m really sleepy. I’ll breeze through faster now.

Mummy was at home waiting for my arrival, dressed in a really sweet and colourful dress. Shortly after that, we went to Sandakan Yacht Club for the party. 🙂

Most of the guests are Mum’s and Dad’s friends so I sat next to one of Dad’s staff. Her name is Miss Wong. I’ve never been really close to her but tonight we chatted quite a bit.

It was dinner and dance. Mum danced the first dance with her dancing instructor. Dad doesn’t know to dance, else he would have led my mum to the first dance. I don’t dance too. Used to learn but am now rotten. Dancing takes a huge deal of confidence so you either go out there express yourself and dance or stay put in a shell. I am still stuck in my shell for now.

Dad finally got up to dance when the live band played a song where you can dance the Sumazau dance. A dance of the Kadazans. He came to me and ajak me to dance as well. Hehe.

“Happy Anniversary!” I wished both my parents when we were on our way home after the party.

“Thanks for coming”. Pappy said.

“No problem.”

So there goes, my parents are happily married (sometimes they do fight!) for 30 years and I wish them many many years and lots of love to come.

This morning as I was driving out to work, the stomach cramps set in. The kind where you feel like shitting and the cramps comes and you got to stretch your leg or somehow stretch or shrink in some kind of a position to make the pain seem bearable. It normally goes away after a cramp or two but it just didn’t want to go away this morning.

And because of that I had to drive back home to use the toilet. It wasn’t easy trying to control the stomach cramps and controlling the car at the same time. I had to have my legs controlled in such a way that I would brake and accelerate normally but you know what? It was just so difficult just now and because of that I think I strained my veins or muscle. I don’t know what I strained actually but I know when I got to the office and when I was getting up from my seat, it hurt a little.

Anyway, I will be going back to Sandakan tomorrow. It’s a sudden decision made. I wasn’t actually planning to go back as I very much wanted to attend my colleague’s wedding this Sunday. I’ve planned to attend this as early as a month ago. Mum and dad are celebrating their wedding anniversary tomorrow night (actual day is Saturday) and Dad messaged me two nights ago if I can come back.

I just cannot reject that request of his because knowing my dad, he would get upset and I don’t want to upset him. Dad is the kind of person who takes special occasions and celebrations very seriously. For example, he makes sure he must do something on your birthday and likewise, he expects the same in return.

The other reason why I didn’t plan to go back was because I’m left with no annual leaves…so I’m actually taking unpaid leave. I was also planning to save up as much money as I can this month, it went smoothly until when I bought the air tickets to fly back home. RM650 disappeared just like that…something which I could have used to pay for my car service which is due in 10 more days. I know I shouldn’t be calculative to this point but I’ve realised that I’ve gotten stingier. Maybe as you work and you find that money is hard-earned and that living costs is going up and that it’s harder to save money, that’s how you would react.

Do you know that a box of HL milk, my favourite milk, is now RM4.40 instead of the usual RM3.99? I looked at the price tag with much disbelief. And the other day, he ordered a glass of iced milo in the Chinese coffee shop and it costs RM2. I dropped my jaw. A loaf of Gardenia bread was then RM1.90 and now RM2.10.

Do I sound like an auntie now?

Anyway, I should go get packing. It’s late but I’m still not done with the packing but I still have time to blog.

*hammers ownself*

…cannot write today. Must be the after-shock effects.

😀

After crying a bucket, I went to bed. Made a silent prayer while hugging Ducky that he’ll be alright.

I woke up at about 2am. It got me thinking about it again. Shortly after that at 2 something in the morning, he smsed me. And that’s because I SMSed him, telling him he MUST message me when he reached.

I called him immediately after receiving his sms and he must be shocked to find that I’m still awake.

“Where are you?”

“At home.”

“At home?”

Trust me, I almost wanted to faint.

“At my auntie’s house.”

“You have an auntie in Penang?”

“No, I’m in Ipoh.”

Almost wanted to pengsan really but I was actually glad that he’s in Ipoh.

“What was a 2 hour journey actually took me 4 hours because I was sleeping and driving. I’m so tired and so I have to stay in Ipoh before I drive again tomorrow morning.”

At least, he still knows what he’s doing and that there are limitation to certain things like how your body is designed to have enough of rest and not to exert it too much.

After hanging up, I cried some more. Just a little. They are called the tears of relief.

This morning at work, he called and I scolded him nicely. And I mean nicely because you know what? I can scold everyone else but I just don’t know how to scold him. So I went about telling him not to do this crazy stunt anymore. I also told him I was scared and worried sick…it made me cry. He was a little surprised really that I cried. But I don’t care whether he thinks I’m silly or whatever it is, I must let him know that I was indeed worried.

My eyes are so puffy and swollen, I don’t know how I’m going to work tomorrow.

Sometimes I don’t understand why he wants to make me worry so much. He was supposed to leave for Penang today and I would think a normal person who actually choose to drive on a morning or afternoon. This guy, he’s driving right about now..at about 11pm. When he called me just now to tell me he’s driving up alone at this odd hour of the night, I didn’t know what to say. And after hanging up, all the bad things are running through my mind. I am just so capable of thinking of bad things. I don’t know where I get all my imagination sometimes. I just want all the bad thoughts to stop.

Maybe I shouldn’t worry too much and that it’s going to be okay. But just thinking that he has been awake from morning till night and have not gotten any rest and is now going on a 4-5 hour journey, doesn’t allow me not to worry. It just came as a natural reaction and before I knew it the tears were gushing out like a broken pipe.  I don’t know if he knows what he’s doing. And I don’t know what bloody employer he has.

I’m just worried sick, okay? Worried sick.

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Went to Jusco supermarket today to do some groceries. Yesterday itself I felt like boiling green bean soup and also to boil corn cob + tomato + carrot + chicken soup. I was having my lunch at this favourite “chap fan” stall of mine in Dengkil one day, which always serve home-cooked soup and when I drank that corn soup, it made me so happy because I’ve not had that for a quite some time and so I decided to make that soup today.

After coming back home, I started preparing ingredients for both the soup. Green bean was easy. You only need rock sugar, water and green beans. This time, I added pandan leaves for fragrance. I told him to come if he’s free after work for some soup. He told me ABC was his favourite soup…but mine wasn’t exactly ABC since I’m using corn and not potatoes. And so I told him this soup is called EFG.

?????????????????? ???? ?????“?“??????????????

He told me he’s going outstation tomorrow and that’s going to be 2 weeks long. Tried to appear calm and I was okay.

He then left for work and I washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. After that I drank the green bean soup while waiting for Jewel in the Palace to show at 10:30pm. It was a nice feeling drinking the green bean soup. I’ve got some more of it so I’ll be bringing chilled green bean soup tow work tomorrow.

After watching one episode of Jewel in the Palace, I forced myself not to continue with the 2nd episode which is showing back-to-back tonight. It’s 12:24am now and I know if I did watch it, it should have ended by now. But then if I did watch it, I’ll only start writing this entry at 12:30am and I cannot do that.

I actually wanted to go to bed right after the watching one episode but then I started crying again, thinking that he’s going to be away. It isn’t my first two weeks that we won’t be seeing each other but you know somehow I’ll always end up like that. It’s like how I would always cry whenever my mum goes back to Sandakan after staying with me for a period. It is that gap between being attached to someone and being on your own again. That gap..I fear the most. But once I reached the other side of the gap, being used to doing things alone again, I’m fine.

????????????? ????????

I already made up my mind not to call him today because I didn’t want to get upset. So I didn’t and I was happily cooking late lunch when he called. He asked if I’ve eaten. I told him I was cooking. He asked if I have started cooking or I was cooking. I said I was cooking. I asked him why. He said he’s not eaten and said nevermind. How could I just let him go with a nevermind? I said I will eat with him.

Anyway, he packed lunch and we ate together. My steamed egg today was nearly a disaster. I was too confident and I put in too much water, so much that I got to scoop it out half way through the steaming because it just didn’t seem to want to cook. You may not understand what I’m talking about…but when I took it out to the living room to join him with his packed chicken rice lunch, he looked at the steam egg with much disgust and asked me what it is.

I told him this is an ugly steamed egg.

And because I put too much water, there isn’t much taste to it. He shared with me some of his chicken while I ate my steamed egg. He was then scooping the steamed the egg and eating it. I thought he would have called it quits with the first bite. But he took a little bit more after that and I asked him why he was taking some more when he said it looks disgusting.

It actually tastes quite good after a few more bites, said he.

hehehehe

But then, the next time I must produce pretty steamed egg. Please lah, Grace, no more too much water. It’s not like the eggs are thirsty!

When he went back just now at 8:30pm for work, yeah, on a Saturday night, I suddenly feel lost. Happens all the time. You know when you don’t meet for a very long time and then you get to meet and then you say goodbye till you meet the next time, the sudden feeling of loneliness is quite strong. I think I have said I’m feeling lonely for the past one week for many times but then I am and I don’t want to deny it. And because I didn’t want to end up being cranky and all, I quickly took my hula-hoop and hooped for 10 minutes.

And now I’m going to bathe and then I’m going to watch Jewel in the Palace on Wah Lai Toi. A Korean series showing 2 episodes back to back on Saturday and Sunday nights, which is so nice to watch that I MUST watch. Then I’ll be on the bed sleeping and I guess I should be alright.

My plans today was to clean the house but since he came, I didn’t. Maybe that would be what I should do tomorrow.

The traffic jam today was horrible. Took me 2 hours to get home.

In the morning, it was bad too, but luckily my lane wasn’t affected as it happened on the opposite side of the road. The cars came to a standstill from Sunway toll right up to the cable bridge. There was a policeman standing in front of the cars and motorcycles, blocking the road, for someone else to pass by but no Very Important Car was visible at that moment. Everyone was waiting for it. A lady must have felt so impatient and restless, she came out of the car, had a good look in front with cars all piled up and not moving, then got back on to her car.

In the evening, with the rain and all, I inched my way back from Sunway toll onwards, with traffic gradually getting heavier from Puchong. By the time I reach home, it was 8:30pm. I cooked and had dinner ready by 9pm, finished my dinner at 9:30pm.

The last hour at work wasn’t pleasant to me. I was a little pissed in fact..but I do not want to go into details about this. While I was fuming, he called. So, before he could say anything else, I ranted to him. hehehe. I think it’s okay lah since he has been ranting to me the past 2 days. He then told me to drive carefully as it is raining very heavily. That was actually the purpose of his call. To tell me to drive carefully on a rainy day. So, he still cares la.

I’m back to normal and that’s because I’m back to work. When I’m at work, I’m surrounded with people so when I have people around me, I am okay. And I mean people around that I can talk to. I love this neighbour of mine at work, she has said this for a few times today, “Grace, come let’s talk”, “Grace, I’m lazy, let’s talk”, “Grace, I don’t feel like working, talk to me”. heehehe

Today I have been combing my hair for many times and that’s because I was a little uncomfortable with the hairdresser’s comment that he thinks I don’t comb my hair enough because he finds broken hair hidden inside my layer of hair. I on the other hand think that it’s just my hair that is dropping. I comb every morning when I wake up, after I come back home from work and bathed and before I go to bed. I comb at a minimum of 3 times a day. Maybe that is not enough?

I cooked dinner tonight. Recipe: Steamed tofu with dried prawns and fried onions.

The tofu was okay. The dried prawns was okay. The fried onions were pre-fried by my mum before she went back so it’s okay. It was the gravy that wasn’t that okay. Bearable but needs to be improved. It is not tasty enough so I told Mum about it when I called her just now.

A short comparison of how I did it and how my mum would have did it:

My Way

Remove tofu from the small white box (I have not been able to remove it as one piece nicely, it came out as two pieces and then a lot more small pieces just now. This I need to practise.) and placed it onto the plate. Fried the dried prawns till it’s crunchy. The nicest part of me cooking this tonight is not because I wanted to eat tofu, but because I wanted to eat the dried prawns. It would be nicer if it’s minced and punched but I’ve got no time to do all this mincing and punching.

Then I sprinkled the dried prawns above and around the tofu, followed by the fried onions (the one where you fry till it gives you a brown colour). Lastly, I poured in some soya sauce and added a little water to it. I did it this way because that’s how I do it when I steam fish and the gravy actually tasted okay. Steam it and ta da!!!

Her Way

Boil tofu in hot water, take it out and leave it on the plate. Considering that if there is no pre-fried onions, fry the onions and half way through it, pour in the dried prawns and fry it together. The onions takes a longer time to turn brown than for the dried prawns to turn to a solid orange so you don’t fry them together at the same time. Pour some soya sauce into the mixture of dried prawns and fried onions and then pour all of them together on the tofu. No need to steam anymore and ta da!!!