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I was feeling rather sad when I walked out of the office today. My manager and another colleague of mine has resigned and today’s their last day in the office.

People come and go but today is different. My manager is such a nice man that I sometimes wonder if there are other guys out there like him. I’m very thankful to be able to work with 2 very kind managers throughout the 2 years that I’ve been working. This is one. The other, is my manager that used to supervise me when I was in my first job.

Sometimes the job can be yucky but if you have a nice boss, it makes it more bearable.

I haven’t been feeling really good lately. I enjoyed my long holidays but I didn’t REALLY REALLY ENJOYED it to the point where I would feel VERY VERY HAPPY. It feels like something is missing but I don’t know what.

When we are young, we long to grow up and to become an adult. Now that I’m 25, it feels so hard and it won’t get any easier, it’ll get more difficult and you will be thrown with more to handle in life. It’s like playing a game. When you’ve completed one level, you go one level up. And each level comes with more obstacles and while you’re at it, you have to try to make sure you come out alive.

He came today, unexpectedly. I was talking to him on the phone a minute ago and he was telling me he’s going out to have dinner and he needs to go back to the office again. The next minute, the doorbell rang and he’s standing at the door. He always likes to do this. Telling me he’s not coming and then he just appears. He only came for a short while.

I haven’t meet him for about a month. The last time that I met him was on my birthday. I called him few hours before the plane departs to hear his voice because I won’t be hearing his voice for a good 2 weeks. But…I couldn’t get through to him so I was feeling a little disappointed and sad and I boarded the plane without listening to his voice or meeting him before I went for my holidays.

I would need to adjust and accept the fact that it’s not going to be easy being in this relationship. It needs a lot of work and a plentiful amount of patience. He is working hard for the money and will have lesser time to meet up.

I’m home alone today, which explains why I’m a little moody. Mum and Iris have gone back to Sandakan this afternoon. Iris will be back after a week to KL and I hope to spend some quality time with her, just me and her, because it has been so long that we have done things together. It’s different when Mummy is with us and when it’s just us. The past week has been about Mummy with us. So, there were “sisters” things that we couldn’t do.

Since I’ll be working and do not have any more leave to take, the only time I have is the weekend. Weekends are short, unless we try to cram and make every weekday nights worth it.

At the end of the month, I won’t be seeing Iris for at least another year because she’ll be flying again to the UK, continuing her studies to become a lawyer. No one knows if she’ll be coming back or she’ll be looking for a job there since she has found someone over there. So, I’ve got to be prepared that a situation like that will happen.

I have survived a year staying alone and killing cockroaches when they appear without the help of anyone, with only my loyal Shieldtox.

I think I’d do just fine.

This is Foo Foo. She has spent almost a year abroad, away from me, because Iris stole it away from me. She took her to Cardiff with her, stayed with her in a room of a student house. Foo Foo is dirtier now, not as white as she used to be but still very adorable. Makes you feel very happy just looking at her.

I wake up very early when I spent my holiday in UK because it gets bright say….4’o clock in the morning? And only gets dark at 10 o’clock at night during summer? I cannot sleep long when it gets bright. I was sleeping next to Iris, on her queen-sized bed, in a new rented place and when it got a little bright, I woke up around 6 something and couldn’t sleep anymore.

Having nothing to do because everyone’s still asleep, I took out my camera and took some photos of Foo Foo. This is my current wallpaper on my computer at home and at work.

The effect of jet lag is disastrous!

I had to force open those eyes this morning. For the whole day at work, I was cranky. My hair looked like they belong to the lion. I know I put up a shitty face at work today but I just cannot help it. I’m just so bloody tired.

Asked the boss if I could leave earlier today but my request was rejected.

Came back, had dinner and fell asleep on the sofa which I sat on immediately. Not kidding.

Woke up about an hour or so later to take my bath.

I think it should get better tomorrow.

It’s 2 something in the morning and I’m awake. At least I’ve had 4 hours of sleep before this. So hopefully after writing this, I’ll be able to sleep by 3.

It was so difficult to wake up this morning to go to work because I only felt sleepy when I had to wake up. Washed my hair so that I’d stay awake throughout the day. Driving to work needed more focus and concentration than usual as my eyes were very tired.

It’s nice to be in the office again, where a darling colleague couldn’t help express how much she missed me while I was away. I had 350 emails in my inbox throughout the 2 weeks that I was away but not all requires action so it wasn’t too bad but I’ve got work to finish off.

I received an email from someone that I didn’t know and thinking it was spam because the fonts were in red and I didn’t bother to read it further. Then, the darling colleague said she has something to tell me and judging by the way she put it, I knew it wasn’t good news.

We went to the toilet and she spoke silently, trying very hard to explain to me of what happened. She seemed to be choking and seemed afraid to tell me about it. She asked if I read an email with red font and that it contains a link to a forum post about me. A male colleague posted it just because I decided not to send him home anymore. Can you believe that?

He talked bad about me, illustrating stories that his imagination takes him to, none of which exists. I was advised not to read it as it is hurtful and words being used are harsh. I’m very tempted to read it in the office today but I didn’t want to spoil my day. I am still tempted to read it but I will stick to not reading it at all.

I’ve not done anything wrong so I just don’t want to be bothered with it. It is disheartening indeed to be treated that way. I’ve never seen anyone like that, doing something so childish, more so for a guy who is educated. When he was told that I’m not sending him anymore, he thought I was joking. I think he hates me to pieces and thinks that I owe him free rides everyday after work.

I’m always willing to help if it’s within my means and I do drive 2 other colleagues home when they need a ride back. I decided not to send him because personally I don’t like his attitude and character and I feel very irritated when I have him in my car. The old and usual me would feel obliged to send him but sometimes there are limits to what the heart can take and I didn’t want to do something I don’t feel like doing this time. Simply put, I am nice when people are nice and I can choose not to be nice to people who are not nice.

I will be as cool as I can be, pretending I know nothing about it and I will not hate him. If it satisifes him and makes him happy to badmouth me, I cannot stop him from doing so but I don’t want to be affected by someone like that because it’s just not worth it.

…is not a very nice thing, something of which I’m suffering from now. I slept at 11 something and am now awake by 1 something. It felt like I’ve slept for the whole night when in actual fact, it has only been 2 hours. And I’m working tomorrow! How nice!

Slept the minute I got on the plane which is around 10 pm London time and 6 am Malaysian time. Woke up 3-4 hours after that and tried to keep myself awake by watching movies. Watched Anna and the King and Blades of Glory. In between that, I think I dozed off a little.

Meal served onboard this time around wasn’t nice. I had beef curry with rice and then omelette with chicken sausage. I didn’t finish any of them so I was quite hungry. But I’d rather be hungry than to eat. I just didn’t had the appetite.

Flew with Malaysia Airlines and the landing was perfect. So smooth. I cannot even believe we landed. We were seated at the tail of the plane. Row 62.

Having been abroad for 2 weeks, I miss home a lot. And I’ve come to discover that Malaysia is such a lovely place though things may not be perfect. I have had enough of Western food and will be indulging in nasi lemak, prawn mee and RICE! KLIA is indeed a superb airport as compared to London Heathrow Airport Termina 3, in terms of space, design, ambience. The 100ml liquid/gel restriction was fine with me. But I just don’t get the logic of the 1 bag only rule. When you get through the security check, you can only carry ONE hand luggage. Ladies’ handbags are considered as a hand luggage so you either carry a luggage or just your handbag. If you’re carrying a laptop, which is the case for my sister, she could only carry her laptop bag with her and the laptop has to be out of the bag and carried with your hands. Her handbag has to go into the laptop bag.

Then, you’ve got to get your shoes scanned.

After security check, you can have as many bags as you want. I had my handbag into Pappy’s hand luggage as I had another hand luggage to carry. So I transformed from holding just one bag to two. Seriously, what is the point of having 1 bag only policy?

Anyway, it was all part for the experience. I’m happy that I’m home and though it would be a very tiring day at work tomorrow (judging by the fact that it’s already 2 am now and I’m not sure if I can get back to sleep), I can’t wait to be at my work desk.

It’s Wednesday but it feels like Monday to me!

You have a good day!