Year: 2009

Hari ini aku senyum bodoh di kereta, lepas tu jalan melayang lepas turun kereta. Melompat ke dapur untuk memanggil mak aku yang sedang sibuk memasak. Apasal? Sebab bos aku ada lah puji sikit-sikit pasal aku jadi aku ada sikit syok dan tinggi (HIGH). hahaha

Esok akan ku bertungkus-lumus lagi demi agama, bangsa dan negara.

Alright, I’m going to share one song with you which I listened from the radio today. So if a song captures my heart like that without even knowing the title to it, it must be something lor. I wouldn’t say it’s the best song but it’s nice and catchy and warm and….I just like it lah!

Check this out! -> Plain White T’s 1234

I LOVE THIS SONG BY TAYLOR SWIFT. LOVE STORY.

I’ve been listening to this song on the radio for so many times but I’ve never gotten the title to the song. One thing about the radio now…they only play songs and rarely name them. So I had to catch some words in the lyrics and google it to put a name to the song.

Someone gave me a positive criticism on how I could work on myself to be better. It was a kind of pleasant surprise because I wasn’t expecting that from him. This one’s a friend to keep.

I’ve just submitted my income tax form. E-filing is a breeze. The form is much simpler compared to the previous years.

Woke up early in the morning because I suggested to go walk in the park in the morning as compared to in the evening as what we usually do. Mornings are nicer you know? With more people. With the fresher air.

There was a line dance session when we were there and Mummy and I joined in. They did some hindustan moves. Very fun! Have not sweated so much for so long.

We then went to The Curve. While waiting for Mummy to get her facial done, I was at The Borders, trying to keep myself awake with a book. It wasn’t because the book was boring but I was just plain tired from the workout in the morning. I had to lay my head next to the pillar while I sat on the bench and tried my best to finish at least one chapter of the book I was reading.

It’s that time of the month so I was feeling a little chilly and a little grumpy due to the chill and the uneasiness. No pain, which is good.

Just a sidenote, my future child or children will have their teeth monitored from time to time so that they don’t have to suffer from putting on braces like me.

I love grocery shopping.

I love the idea of being in a supermarket even when there’s nothing in particular that I want to buy.

Went grocery shopping with mummy today. Yea, we were lovey-dovey today. Even can kiss if we wanted to.

And I just do not want to look at my credit card bills. Last month’s enough to kill me. This month’s should be equally killing. Mummy’s credit card has expired since last month so I’ve been acting like a second husband of hers…sign, sign and sign. My salary just came in and out just like that. Feels like I didn’t get any salary this month because I had to pay the bills.*sob sob*

She’s got double presents for Mother’s Day this year. A skin care set and a blender-grinder-juicer-cutter machine. She’s so obsessed with it that she’s been looking at the demo by this guy for 3 times on different days whenever we go to the shopping mall that the salesman can recognise her. He must be thinking this lady is SO IN LOVE with the cute product that he’s selling. You cannot let my mum see any wonderful products on cookery, she’ll go very obsessed one. She can have a collection of cookers and still feel she hasn’t got any. Scary or  not?

😀

I was dying for the working hours to come to an end today. I just so wanted to have the weekend approach.

Went dinner with friends and had a very good laugh. It’s been so long since I’ve laughed like that in a restaurant. It was then followed by a movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Go watch it, okay? I’ve read the book, watched the movie today and I just feel like reading the book again.

Some scenes reminds me of the long-gone him and how I used to wait by the phone. I don’t know if it’s sad or pathetic or just a normal process some girls would have to go through but I don’t want to sweat about it anymore. Really.

I still truly believe I’ll meet the right one.

Came home and I don’t know how to deal with my mum. Sometimes when she stays for too long, I think she’s bored or I don’t know, she’ll start to pick on me and all. Like how yesterday, I had to change to another shirt as I was about to go to work because she didn’t approve of what I was wearing even though she used to say it’s a really nice top. Knowing that I wouldn’t want to argue with her, I’ve just changed to another piece. It’s all these small things that really drives me nut. I don’t know if I’m doing good enough to be a daughter because she never seems to be satisfied and it feels like I’ll never get there.

Pappy is funny and I think he can get lonely too with Mummy here and him alone there. And I think he understands my situation very well.

“Ask Mummy to come back and not to disturb you!”

When Pappy is here, I feel okay with going out with my friends because I know he would have friends that he could go out with and I wouldn’t need to worry so much about him. But it’s different with my mum. Sometimes when I go out with my friends, I’ll be thinking about her at home. Thinking when she would call if I ever come back late (and sometimes I get pissed because it’s very rare that I stay very late outside and it’s just the way she sounds on the phone that just makes me feel one kind but I know she cares…ohhh…how am I supposed to describe this?). And when friends date me out, I would have to consider if my mum is around because sometimes when I’m out with my friend, I feel the guilt. But I can’t be staying home forever and not go out with my friends. And right now, I’m just waiting for the bomb to drop…like how I’ll be getting a shout from the living room asking me why I’m still awake….even though it’s Friday night and I would say I deserve a slightly late night on weekends, don’t I?

Sorry but I just need to rant tonight. I really hate guys who text me and say they can’t sleep and expect me to do something about it. Like give them a call? Reply with some sleep-inducing messages? Or I just don’t know. I mean if you can’t sleep, you should give me a call instead of me calling you lor…or maybe I’m just pissed with him lah I don’t know. And please don’t ask me if I’m sleeping now when I’ve just replied to you that I’m not sleeping yet when you text me just 5 minutes ago. It really gets to my nerve man, especially when a guy acts like that.

Anyway, the bomb has been dropped…like how I expected.

very nice.

It feels very weird putting on my contact lens at 4:30am. That’s because I have been awake for the past one hour. The rain and thunder and lightning woke me up I suppose. Or was it the milk tea I had just after dinner…I’m not sure. But I know I was CRAVING for milk tea that I had to have it even knowing the risk of not being able to fall asleep.

Well, at least I managed to get at least more than 3 hours of sleep before I actually wake up and been tossing and turning on the bed for an hour and didn’t think it was a productive thing to do. I had wanted to do something about it earlier but I couldn’t find my glasses so I was talking myself into just trying to get back to sleep but I just can’t.

Instead of switching on the lights and read a book in my room, I decided to write this so that I don’t disturb anyone. Remember I have a roomie? Yeah. And now that I recall, I think my glasses are in Mummy’s room but I can’t be marching into her room at hours like this. It’ll freak her out so this is what I can do best.

Someone told me that he has a crush with someone at the workplace and then continued to tell me, he used to have a crush on me too when we were in the same workplace. Funny guy. Well, at least he has the courage to tell me that and I appreciate that. Make me syok for a while also ok mah.

Today my heart stopped for a while and I couldn’t breathe as I was given very last minute notice that I’ll be meeting a bunch of high-flyers, CEO, managers and the like. I tried to brave myself and talk. I don’t know their names and positions but I just know they are from the top so memang aku stress. Didn’t think I did very well, nor did I did very badly. That was probably the most exciting and thrilling hour of the day because 30 minutes prior to that, I was dealing with laptops that just didn’t want to connect to the network. A little too gan jeong for me to handle but was thankful I had a superior to support me. Sometimes that’s all we need.

It’s 5:02am.

I’m going to try to sleep again.

Hi Bunny,

I finally got you flowers today. Not roses but a combination of chrysanthemum and the like. It was when I passed that flower stall that I saw another stall which had roses for sale. Oh well, I think you wouldn’t mind.

It was a nice morning walk at the SS2 morning market. Was suddenly craving for nasi lemak so I got myself a packet. Mummy went to get her supply of chicken. The kind that is slaughtered as and when a customer places an order.

In the afternoon, we went for a session of foot reflexology. It was so good that I felt asleep. Attending to me was this Chinese chap…oh mamma mia! I’ll be coming back for more!

Washed the car. It has been like what….2 months? Yea, I’m can be bloody lazy I know. The car looks like a car now. Did I ever tell you that I love my car more and more each passing day?

Dinner in Kepong. Had bah kut teh. It was also so good, I had to have another bowl of rice. It has been a long time since I ate like that, I mean having an extra bowl of rice and all. It was a very hearty meal. Did I tell you I had crabs last night? It was also very good. Eating is a kind of joy I must say.

There’s this video clip that you must watch. CLICK!

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
When hope was high and life, worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid,
And dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine, untasted.

Dreaming of you,
Gracie

Dear Bunny,

It’s 17 April and it’s your death anniversary. You left me on this day a few years ago and boy you made me cry! I hope you’re doing great up there. I’ve always missed you and when I pressed on the machine to get the parking ticket at the workplace today, I murmured “Bunny!” and smiled at the machine. I don’t know what the hell that is for but I’m just telling you based on what I actually did.

If someone would ask me to describe a magical moment of my life, it would be you. You’re simply magic! Appeared just like that and made me the luckiest girl on earth. Even all the boyfriends and exes will have to make way for that coveted magical award. I LOVE YOU TO BITS.

I’ve never really had such a bond with a pet. The feeling was so strong that it actually broke my heart when I knew you’ve passed away. I’ll never get to know the real reason on how you left me but I’m really glad that you’ve come to stay even though it was a short 4 months, including the 1 month where I went back to Sandakan for my semester break and I was so afraid and worried that you might forget about me when I come back. Well, you still remember. 🙂

Nothing beats the feeling when I come home and I know I have something to come back to. I know you’ll be waiting for me. I’ll tell you stories which I recite in my mind and heart by just being with you. It wasn’t convenient to talk out loud then because the neighbour would be wondering I’ve gone nuts.

Bunny, I can go on and on with this so now you realised what an impact you’ve made upon me. I don’t think I can get ever forget about you.

I’ve owned rabbits before you came and it was really ages ago. Say when I was 6-7 years old. I would stare at them but I couldn’t touch them unless mummy takes them out from the cage. I can stare at them for hours. The rabbits then multiplied and some of them were not caged anymore. I remember this particular rabbit where I’ve helped in getting its head out because it was stuck below the pipeline. Very funny I must say but it was also scary for me. I was all alone and I wasn’t sure whether to leave that rabbit to figure its way out or risking to break its neck while I helped it out from that pipeline. Both of us survived the ordeal.

I intended to get you a few fresh roses like I normally would on this day every year. I went to a nearby florist after work but they only sold roses which were already wrapped in a bouquet and didn’t sell individual roses.

I had to rush to meet a friend for dinner so I didn’t bother. I’ll definitely try to get some tomorrow.

My life is a compilation of random things lately. I go out for lunch with slightly different people everyday which is quite interesting. I’m blessed with some really nice and friendly colleagues. I almost got something that is challenging to me at work. Just not confident but I know if I really meant business, I’m sure I can get it done because I wouldn’t have a choice! 😛 This is also unexpected but I’ll try if it really comes into my plate.

It was really nice to meet this friend of mine over dinner. (Thank you! 🙂)

Over the span of 2 days, I’ve been getting comments that I’m thinner than before and I don’t think it’s a compliment. Maybe it’s the braces…so from now on, I’ll try to eat more. I just need a little more flesh.

I need to enjoy the times I have with my roomie as she would need to move out in the coming weeks. It’s going to be back to the independent me, something which I’ve been very used to.

As long as I’ve lived, I’ve only got one regret so far and perhaps one of the biggest mistakes of my life. My instincts told me something’s fishy about it but my heart is too soft for my own good.  Bunny, you know about this story I’m sure and hope you see me through this.

Thank you for the wonderful memories. It’s enough to last me a lifetime.

Love you, love you and love you,
Gracie