Run, Bunny. Run!

Year: 2009

  • Bye Bye Teeth!

    Finally, the day has come!

    I was all prepared for it and actually couldn’t wait for the teeth to be extracted because I don’t see any progress due to the lack of room and space for the teeth to move.

    I had 2 of them extracted at 10am today. It’s been 7 hours now and I still don’t feel any pain. A bit surprise about that..because I was expecting some pain. I hope it’s going to be painless even after this. The only painful part is the injection but I wouldn’t really call it painful because it’s like like an ant bite. Then I was asked to leave the room for the gum to get numb while the dentist worked on other patients. So I was nursing with the numbness outside and when I get back in, the dentist helped to do scaling, to clean away my plaques and then extracting my teeth. It was really really fast and I couldn’t believe my teeth is gone without feeling any pain. Wow!

    Braces

    This is how my teeth looks like now. There are 2 gaps at the upper right and upper left jaw in the picture. There’s also a rubber band that is hooked from the 2 teeth towards the back of my lower jaw, to tell the 6 front tooth of mine (grouped together with twisted wire) to move together inward. It may not seem obvious in this picture due to the angle of it but my upper jaw is more protruding than my lower jaw.

    Braces

    This is a close-up picture. Hope it’s not too gross for your liking. hahaha. I will be taking pictures of the gap from time to time to see how long it takes to narrow it.

  • And Now the Cough is Here

    One thing you must know about me. Maybe I’ve blogged about this before but I don’t remember.

    I can never spit for my life. I just don’t know why. I have all these phlegm stuck in my throat but I just cannot get it out with my mouth. The only option I have is to blow it out through the nose but I really think it’s harder to get it out from the nose, especially it is sticky  and not so watery.

    Trust me, I have tried to spit using my mouth. It’s either I cough so hard that my lungs are about to come out from my mouth and still see no phlegm or it feels as though I’m trying to vomit my stomach out.

    Well, of course, miracle happened once or twice. It’s so long ago I don’t remember when was the last time I managed to use my mouth for once and boy was I thrilled. I was overjoyed. I swear I could cry.

    My fever has subsided. The cough is here but I think I’ll get through this very soon too.

  • Fever

    It’s certified. I’m down with fever. The last time I had one was about 3 years ago. I just want to get well soon.

    I think I’ve been too tired so the body is complaining now. Do you know that I’ve been farting for 2 days already? Those little farts smell like a big toxic bombs. Every fart that comes out from my body makes me feel I’m detoxing by releasing gas. I don’t know why I’m farting like a gun machine all of a sudden.

    Pimples are receding. My body temperature has gone down after I took a nap just now in the afternoon. What’s bothering me now is the leftover watery phlegms and an annoying throat. Just going to end the day by watching the Swiss Open. Lee Chong Wei beat Lin Dan just now. I’m so thrilled and very happy for him. Going to watch the men’s doubles now.

    Hope to be up and running tomorrow at work. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and a lot of justification. If time permits, I would want to pen it down tomorrow.

    Good nite! 🙂

  • Flu

    It’s 2:50am as I’m writing this on the laptop seated on my lap while I’m lying on the bed. I didn’t want to freak my parents out waking up at this hour and to be caught sitting in front of my desktop PC of the study room. I came home feeling feverish after work today due to the cold and wet weather in the morning which boosted the aircon at the workplace to work too powerful for my liking. I started to have a runny nose by the time I came home, it wasn’t good.

    Downed a cup of hot herbal tea and an apple before bed and tried to get some sleep earlier but I just couldn’t get to sleep because I was sneezing and feeling so uncomfortable. I had to sneak out from the bedroom in search of Panadol but couldn’t find any (also didn’t want to freak my parents out) but I found Clarinase which isn’t too bad a find. Works well for my condition so I popped in one pill and then tried to get to bed. It felt like I’ve slept the whole morning but to my horror, it’s only 2:32am when I suddenly woke up which explains why I’m writing this at a very odd hour on a very very old laptop which has not seen the daylight for I don’t know how many years. You see…when I turned it on, there’s this system configuration error that has got something to do with the system date and when XP is loaded, the system clock showed January 2004. Kesian.

    I just felt the need to get things off my chest. I’ve not written for days and that’s because I’ve been busy and I’m trying to balance my life after work. It’s been 2 weeks since I last joined the new place. It has opened up my eyes and broadened my perspective a little. I could also see how I was responding to the new environment, the new people and a whole new life. I’m certainly not the laid-back or happy-go-lucky type when I’m in the office because I’m always spending time worrying, trying my best to absorb everything and doing things right the first time. That may have created unnecessary stress and pressure upon myself but I sometimes find it hard to slow down, sit back, relax and just chill out. I think I can only feel comfortable once I’ve begin to mastered something and I know it by heart.

    I was told today that I’m doing it well and that helped indeed. J Sometimes, that’s all we need to hear to continue to strive. I have to continue to do better though because more will be coming to my plate.

    However, Mummy isn’t very please with me. Pimples on my face has begin to show, especially on the forehead. When it appears on the forehead, it usually means stress. Then, she went on how I wasn’t keeping the house the way it should be in. Sometimes I get so tired after work, all I want to do is just rest and not lift a vacuum cleaner or re-arrange some stuff. But when Mummy is here, I really got to keep up with her beat. She’s got some ways in which she wants certain things to be done. I have a manager at the office and I also have a manager at home, which is Mummy when she’s around. She was nagging to me just now before I went to bed. Of course, I wasn’t feeling very happy to be lectured at but it’s not something to complain about. Maybe I’ve just not done things well enough at home yet. I’m going to work on that.

    Okay, it’s 3:30am and I really think I should get back to some sleep again. Good morning!

  • So What!

    This is my second attempt at writing this entry. The first one went bonkers due to a click of something and I cannot retrieve the draft. Bah!

    This is a much needed weekend for me. The whole process of job-hunting (wait, no. I should say the whole process of thinking whether the previous job suited me and then followed by the job-hunting process) was somewhat stressful. I’ve not really had the time to actually rest my mind from serious thinking. Sometimes I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself. Really. I mean some people know very well what they want to do from the very start. It’s been 4 years for me and I’m still searching. I hope my search ends here. Haha..but let’s just see! It may not be a high-flying job and I don’t know where it’ll bring me to next but I believe in excelling in what you do no matter how small it is. I don’t like the feeling being in a job where I know I cannot excel no matter how hard I try. Accomplishment is very important to me.

    Adapting to changes is what I’ll be doing for the coming weeks. From driving a shorter route to work, parking at a different place, paying more expensive parking fees, still paying the same toll, adjusting to new working hours, looking at new faces, learning the culture and fitting into the environment, dressing up, paying more for food, learning new stuff out of my job scope because I don’t really have a main task yet for the time being, getting to know my colleagues, opening my mouth, staying positive all the time, being brave, protecting myself and etc…

    Met up with 2 of my darlings on Saturday and I had the chance to become a little crazy after being very proper and all during my first week of the new job. Watched Marley & Me. Makes you laugh and makes you cry. You’ll like if you’re a dog lover or you’ve owned a pet.

    Marley

    Photo by Barry Wetcher/20th Century Fox

  • Friday

    Dear Ducky,

    Today is definitely a better day. I think I will survive here. 🙂

    That’s all for today.

    Love,
    Mama

  • Inadequacy

    Dear Ducky,

    I’ve been telling the world that I’m going to my friend’s hometown this Saturday but you know what? It’s not this Saturday, it’s the following Saturday. And because I’ve been thinking it’s this Saturday, I canceled an appointment to attend a workshop. That’s not the only problem. The following Saturday I have a dental appointment so you see everything is jumbled up and I just know how uncomfortable I really am during the period when I decided I wanted to do something else, to the time I got an offer, to the time I started a new job, and now learning as much as I can and at the same time trying to fit in and grab someone that I can talk with. I can tell you it’s stressful. So my otak is a bit tak betul now.

    I really don’t feel comfortable at all and I keep telling myself everyday that this is a normal process and a normal feeling to feel. I’ve started to let go off the “tikus-ness” in me. I don’t want to try too hard because in the end, it doesn’t really help, it only stresses me out. I don’t like the feeling of being inadequate. You feel that way in every new job you do because no matter how skillful you are, there is always something that you got to adjust to suit the environment. Furthermore, I’m not really that skillful lor. I feel very bodoh actually now. It will take some time to really build up myself here.

    I’m hope the “Dear Ducky” series will end soon then I can write some other stuff than to write about my worries and insecurities day in day out. And in order to overcome that, I’d have to write my worries away until it’s gone.

    I’m really glad Monday is a public holiday. I’m just gonna sit back and relax. Holidays are like precious gems to me now.

    Love,
    Grace

  • Fitting In

    Dear Ducky,

    Today I miss my ex-colleague very much. So much so that I had to SMS her to tell her I miss her. Maybe it’s because I haven’t got a colleague I can get close to with here. In every place that I’ve worked, I will always have someone that I can be crazy with. Sometimes I think I worry too much about this into thinking that if I don’t find someone like that here in this new place, I don’t know how I’m going to survive. I know building relationship requires time. Looking back, it took me months to really really be close to someone so I guess I shouldn’t be in such a hurry in wanting to be close to someone in such a short time.

    From having lunches previously where I literally can pour my whole heart out and have someone to understand me to now having lunches and keeping my whole heart into its place definitely needs some adjustment.

    On my first day, I walked and talked like a tikus. Don’t know what the hell I’m afraid of.
    Today, it’s better. At least I don’t walk like a tikus anymore. Don’t know just ask. Even if it makes me look stupid. I’d rather be stupid now than later.

    But I think all these changes would do me some good. I’m the more reserved and timid kind so I need some exposure. I know I can do it. I can be less-reserved and braver but it’s the just new environment, culture, people and the adjustment that I’m going through that makes me feel like suddenly I’m so helpless.

    Even though this is not my first time starting anew in a new place but I still have to go through the same feeling of insecurity and I worry about particularly so many things.

    *pats on self shoulder*
    *whispers to own self “you’ll be fine”*

    Love,
    Grace

  • A New Place

    Dear Ducky,

    Today it feels like the first day of school. Yup, I’ve started doing something new in a new place. All is well so far. I need to work on my confidence a little, pump up some self-esteem (it’s there, just hidden), make more friends. From what I see, I got to be the ice-breaker now and the initiator, else it’s just not going to go anywhere. I will do it and I know I can do it.

    Being here reminds me of my first working place. The environment and the seating arrangement. The culture and etc. I think I will do fine here.

    One thing’s for sure. I need to dress UP! People here dress very smartly. So now I have to have a daily/weekly plan on what to wear everyday.

    Ok lor Ducky, I need to sleep early tonight because it’s going to be my second day of school tomorrow.

    Loving You,
    Grace