Year: 2009

I’ve given up hope on the previous guy who has left such a mark in my life. Maybe I’ll meet him again someday. Maybe one day he’ll appear. But for all I know, it is history. My heart comes with an expiry date. No matter how beautiful it used to be, the beauty has already fade away.

How do I know this? Well…let’s just say..my heart could only fit one person in the “relationship with a guy” category. So, there’s no way it could fit another. Now, I think I’ve dust off the very last pieces of him and my heart is lighter. My heart is open. Scarred, broken but healed. Ready to take on new challenges, sweetness and a new heart.

I think I’m having a crush. It’s nice to have a crush. I’m acting like an idiot lately. Always looking out for that someone and always thinking if he’s going to be the right one….and if I’m going to be the right one for him.

It feels like I’ve done this a million times and yet no matter how many million times I go through this, there’s always something new, something sweet, something frightening, something heart-pumping about it.

I came across a quote I like very much today…which I think came at a very right time. It goes like this..

Never explain yourself to any one.

Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it.
and the person who dislikes you won’t believe it.

Another one..

You cannot finish the book of life,
without closing it’s chapters.

If you want to go on…
then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages

On my way here
Where I am now
I’ve learned to fly
I have to want to leave the ground
I’ve fallen hard
But I’ve been loved
And in the end it all works out
My faith has conquered fear

I bloody love this song. Been listening to this song on the radio but never seem to get the title to the song. I finally did today. It’s “On My Way Here” by Clay Aiken.

My mood is so ceria today. So ceria until I can walk on air.

It’s that thrill of getting to know someone new. I don’t know what it is. But we can talk. I’m just going to appreciate times like this and soak up the moment. Because life is short.

Left office at 5:30pm and then spent 2 and a half hours waiting for my ex-colleagues for dinner. They were held up in a meeting so I had to spend more time in the bookstore…which isn’t entirely a bad thing. I finished reading a book within that span of time. I’m so proud of myself. hahaha

“He’s Just Not That Into You” was the book I picked from the shelf. Wanted something light and not too heavy. This was one. It was funny. You can catch me trying hard not to smile too wide and not to laugh out loud. Somehow it makes me feel that Mr.Bad Guy isn’t worth the wait no matter what excuse I give to myself to explain the possibilities of why he disappeared on me.

Sometimes I’m happy that I could actually put it aside and move on. Of course, it would sometimes come back to haunt me occasionally but it’s something I know I can manage to brush it aside if I really want to. I just want to be happy. Plain simple.

One line in the book that really really caught my attention and I think it’s so very true…is this following line.

You already have an asshole. You don’t need another.

🙂

Movies Watched:

• Confessions of a Shopaholic – Watched this with my friend after work. Funny!! Nice!! I don’t know if a guy would like it but I went with a girlfriend to watch it with me.
• Talentime – Watched this with my mom yesterday. This is nice too…or I should say beautifully crafted.  Love the soundtrack and hunting for it but can’t seem to find it anywhere.

For the whole week, I’ve been going to bed earlier, say 10:30pm after watching the Hong Kong series on Wah Lai Toi. Actual sleeping time is later than that though because I have a roommate now…which I will refer to as roomie, and with a new roomie, we can’t help but TALK. Even after the lights are switched off, we still find ourselves talking, giggling and then suddenly laughing out loud. It’s very therapeutic. 🙂

We are very much alike. We are both single. We are looking. I thought I cry very easily but she does it even better than me. She laughs very easily too and it makes me happy.

Did you switch off the lights for an hour last night?

I did.

And I was out for dinner with Pappy. We had Japanese food.

I’ve also been sleeping with the fan for 2 weeks now. It started when I was coughing a few weeks back and I was feeling very cold with the fever and felt very uncomfortable sleeping with the air-con. So there was one night, I decided to just sleep without the fan because I was so freaking cold la ..I don’t know why. Then when the fever subsided, I slept with the fan and since then, I’m sticking to the fan.

Guess it’s good for my skin too, doesn’t get dehydrated too easily. I’m in the air-con in the office too so it’s better to sleep with the fan at night. The only downside is I’ve got to get up, keep the windows shut when it really rains in the middle of the night because when the wind gets very strong, the door makes noise too. And I also have to put up with the restaurant closing at 12 midnight that is if I’m awake. Usually I’m in a deep sleep so whatever noises that comes after that doesn’t bother me at all.

The major distraction would be the 6am bird calling. There’s this particular bird I don’t have a name for it because I don’t have an idea of how it looks like. But if I hear it making noises, I’ll know that’s the bird I’m talking about. It lets out a very sexy, screaming kind of noise as early as 6 and when it does that, usually it wakes me up and you can hear me say, “Oh that bird again!” then I’ll need to bear with the noise as I continue with my sleep….on and off kind of sleep.

I know the bird makes noises even when I sleep with the air-con on but it’s very obvious with the air-con off and the windows open. Like amplified to my ears.

My skin is getting better. Not silky smooth but it’s better compared to weeks before. I’ve changed from the oil-control, combination skin set to a combination skin, hydrating set. I’ve always thought my skin is the oily kind so that’s why I always use the non-oily products and every night I apply blemishes cream on the pimples.

Surprisingly, the pimples are not really pimples. They appear because the skin is too dry. When it’s too dry, it produces its own oil/sebum so that’s why I was deceived by my own skin into thinking my face is oily. And I was thinking if I switched to a hydrating skincare, it would get oilier but no….it works really well now. Hoping to see more improvement.

I think that aside, other factors attributes to this too. Maybe I’m happier now. There’s stress still of course but it’s the kind of stress that doesn’t kill me or pull me down, the kind that pushes me to go further, pushes me to do better. For the first time in a very long time, I see life a little different now.

I actually have the mood and motivation to choose  and plan what I would want to wear to work every day. I want to look good. I make sure my skin keeps improving. I’m training myself to be more confident. I’m learning new stuff and I get to interact with more people now. I get to communicate with foreigners now too so the way I talk/write to them is different too. I’m slowly picking up the art to write very politely and courteously. At times, you surprise yourself by doing something you didn’t know you can do.

I’m actually very happy that at this point of time, I’m here. It wasn’t all pleasant before this but I’m really glad that I’m here now. Maybe it was a process I had to go through to get here. And in every places I’ve worked, there would always be something I can bring and apply here. May not be very obvious but you can feel it yourself.

Hungry la..till then!

I don’t know if any of you who are single get this…”Let me introduce someone to you”

And most of the time, there’s no news after that. I’ve heard it countless times from different friends, I’m getting a bit sick when I hear the same thing again from another person, to only know it’s just something they say, not something they will do.

So now when someone tells me he/she has got a friend to introduce to me (in hope that me and the guy whom gets introduced to me can be an item), I return a smile. I don’t want to say anything else.

I went to work early yesterday because I had to leave work early to  head to Muar, Pappy’s hometown, for Qing Ming (All Souls’ Day).

My uncle drove us all down and it took us 4 hours to reach because of the heavy downpour, several accidents along the way which caused traffic jam. We then settled for a not very yummy wan tan mee because the stalls were mostly closed.

Woke up at around 5am this morning because we have to be at the cemetery by 6:30am. We’ve got to be early because we’ve got 5 graves to visit. My paternal grandma and grandpa, my uncle, my auntie and I don’t know who else. It was quite scary because it was still dark and misty and it’s situated in between some oil palm plantation but when it approached 7am, it was all nice and cool and breezy.

I didn’t talk much because all of my dad’s family speak Teo Chiew and I don’t really know how to speak the dialect. I understand what they are saying though. My task this time around is to paint the faded red Chinese word on the graves along with my other cousins. I have so many cousins, I don’t even know their names. I’m auntie to so many nephews and nieces, I really cannot keep track or recognise who is who. That is how big the family is on my father’s side.

Most of the time, I feel out of the league when I’m here. Luckily I know Mandarin so I can still communicate with them when I needed to. Else, I think I do not need to talk at all.

That aside, I’m learning the praying process. It’s not my first time praying but I’ve never really understood what I was doing when I was young. I only remembered burning joss sticks and putting them on the grave.

It was quite nice. I like the idea of being in a small town sometimes. Enjoyed  homemade nasi lemak by my aunt at her house for late breakfast and then a RM2.80 wan tan mee again for lunch. RM0.70 for a glass of soya bean which tasted so heavenly.

For the first time in my life, I think… I can say I love my job.

I had this bodoh smile plastered on my face while I was driving home.

I had lunch with someone new today too. A GUY. hahaha

This friend of mine invited him and so 3 of us ate together.

This friend of mine works at the same place with me and I didn’t know it. I bumped into her in the toilet and we both asked each other, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for an interview.”

“Today is my 2nd day working here.”

We went to the same primary school and was in the same class for 3 years. We then went to the same secondary school. We lost touch when we attended college and somehow life brings us back together again, now in the form of a same workplace. We will be sharing the same room too when she moves in temporarily to my place tomorrow.

Instead of talking to the television, I can now talk to a person at home after work.