Category: Life

Went to work with a very dry throat. Thanks to the crying I did to myself and the lack of sleep due to crying so hard.

I had to clear my throat for every call that I answer. Pretty annoying I must say. Today, I had to juggle between English and Malay version greeting. Like if the screen says “1”, I must say Good morning. If it says “2”, Selamat Pagi that is. Until it came to a point, I had to think of what to say after I was on the line with the customer. There better not be any “3” because then I’d need to say “Zao An”.

Things aren’t getting any better and I would say it’s turning from bad to worse. And it can go downhill somemore. Mr.Boss informed us of what we’ll be going through for the next few months. Just thinking about it gives you a headache so I don’t dare imagine being in the real thing itself.

So if another new girl or guy asks me the question I dread to answer, “How it is like working here?” I would say I don’t have any comments.

It has come to a point where customers are in pain and agony, in which they inflict it upon you. Let’s say you’ve got 50 calls in a day? 50 customers. 50 times of pain and agony. I need a bullet-proof heart. They call but I have no answer for them but apologies and empty assurance. Even if things are not going to be done really soon, you still need to give a minimum form of assurance. You can’t just say, “I don’t know.” (Even though I really don’t know, you see?)

The nice ones would understand that the one answering the calls have no power in delivering certain things that they want immediately because it has to be escalated to another party. One customer called and I simply knew I have no others words to say to her plus the fact that she’s been calling and calling and calling. She understood my situation as well. We both laughed on the phone because there was nothing else to say, nothing that we could do but WAIT.

Another one, whose name is Grace called to ask me a very good question. One that I don’t have answers to yet. I couldn’t get the answer for her today so I just called to tell her I’ll call her tomorrow for an answer. She said okay. Mr.Boss also doesn’t know the answer to it when I asked him just now. No one knows actually. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get an answer for Grace tomorrow. I can’t disappoint someone who shares the same name as me.

Forget about work, I’m just counting the days before I’m flying home. Tomorrow – 1 more day. Next week – 3.5 days. 4.5 more days. I’m looking at the calendar more than once a day in the office. Tomorrow, I’m going to label it as “I’m flying home”. Ah ha!

Sent colleagues home and I rushed to the nearest bakery to get a cake. It’s called Chocolate Lady.

It’s Iris’s birthday today. I only manage to get her a cake, which took her by surprise since she wasn’t expecting any because I told her I would only get her a gift later.

I was the only one singing the birthday song and then we hugged. She then rushed off to celebrate her birthday with many other people, leaving her sister at home to dwell in her own sorrow. Oh hoho!

Happy Birthday Iris! This may be the last birthday I’ll be here to celebrate for you before you leave for UK this September. I’ll be all alone by then again. *sob sob*

After writing last night, I went to bed and before I close my eyes, I sent him an SMS to say good night whether or not he is already asleep. It was already midnight you see.

“I’ve already booked the tickets.” wrote he. *memoirs of the geisha* tee hee hee!

I called him right away, just to talk. And it was a long one because I cried so hard, just telling him my stories and he gave me lots of his advice and opinions which I loved listening to. They were things I already knew but when someone tells it to you in his own way, it’s different. I cried even harder just listening to that.

Woke up this morning with such bee-stung eyes, which in this context didn’t seem to appear very sexy. Went to work with this very dried heart since the tears are long gone. Not expecting anything but the worse. It was okay for me today because I felt less heartsick.

The new girl asked me, “How is it working here?”

I’m afraid I’m not the best person to answer that, given the situation and the feelings I’m going through right now.

I could only utter, “It’s okay.” Not wanting to sound very promising nor very discouraging.

Didn’t go to fight at the gym today because I was very tired and sleepy, with all the crying and talking to customers on the phone. My colleague felt the same too but not because she was sleepy but because she simply didn’t have the mood. “I’m tired. Kena marah.”

Silently I said, “Saya faham.”

I came back from work and dived onto my bed, hugged Ducky and slept. I just want to forget about the world for a while and have a good rest. I can bathe and eat later.

On a side note, I also got an email from Pappy which comes with an attachment. He found it in one of the Sabah papers, scanned it to me and attached it as a file. It was a job advertisement for positions in KL. A simple act from him but means so many things to me. It can mean, “Don’t give up.”, “It’s not the end of the world.”, “I love you.”, “I just want you to be happy.”, “Please don’t cry.”

I love you too.

Today’s a day I feel happy and excited to go to work after such a long long time. I still dreaded thinking about going to work this morning that I hugged onto Ducky longer than I should. I hugged her really tight then I told myself, “Come on, Grace. Get up!”

Reached the office and saw a new headset and I didn’t know how to use it. The new VOIP phone system went live today and all of us were thrown to use the new system, juggling ourselves with the new phone, the new soft phone (a software that allows you to answer your calls with a click of the mouse), the phone directories that changed overnight (we had to re-learn all the numbers again). Now when customers call us, there would hear something like, “Thank you for calling our company. For English, Press 1. Untuk Bahasa Malaysia, sila tekan 2” kind of intro which voice belonged to one of my colleague of the same department.

“Eh Grace, kenapa guna suara Ms.R eh?”

It took me a while to get what the customer was talking about. Then it rang a bell.

“Oh, sebab suara dia seksi.”

“Hahah. Tapi suara Grace pun seksi.”

“Haha. Tak lah, tak cukup seksi.”

New phone system is quite cool, gives you a very advanced kind of feeling. We were all in a mess trying to get it connected that we only started our normal operations at 9am instead of the usual 8:30am.

The software is quite cool too that you could answer your phone, put it on hold with just a click of the mouse. It comes with a statistics as well which measures the total number of calls you’ve handled, total time used to handle calls, total talking time, total time “not ready”, total “hold” time.

Now I can choose whether to put my status as “Ready” or “Not Ready”. So when I’m Ready, the calls would come in and every call is assigned to one call agent. You would have no choice but to kill it. If you’re Not Ready, the call would not come to you until you make yourself ready again. So, yeah, hopefully my boss won’t set a specific “Not Ready” that we are entitled to have because then it would be so stressful to just limit yourself how much rest time you could have.

The General Manager came over to our desks today and he joked about something and then he mentioned my name but unfortunately, I was on a call. I heard my name but I couldn’t answer him. Then he continued talking to the rest. He then came back to ask whether I was still on the line and I nodded my head while talking to the customer.

Then, he came to talk to me again during the forum that we had in a hotel this evening while I went to get my cup of tea from the waiter. He was standing next to me, wanting to get himself a cuppa too.

“How’s things?”

“Okay.”

“Is it a busy day?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, couldn’t get to talk to you because you are on the phone all the time.”

I smiled.

Then he continued asking about the new phone system and I explained a little to him.

Sometimes, when someone so high up talks to me, I feel very excited and can be very tongue-tied. It’s like you want to make sure you don’t sound stupid but at the same time appear fun and friendly to talk to. I’m still learning to tackle that but it was nice to have talked to the GM.

Today’s quite a day to remember as well because 16 new staff joined us today. 16 new joinees on 16th Jan. Cool, huh? And they all come under Customer Service and Customer Care Centre. Got to know a new girl. She’s a fresh graduate, studied Chemistry and would be doing the exact same thing I’m doing now. She was saying she studied a field totally out of what she’s going to do now and I can relate to that.

Then, another colleague told her, “Grace is the person you would want to talk to because she’s one of the pioneers in this call centre and she keeps all the systems updated.”

Wow! Yes, I was one of the pioneers but I’m certainly not the person who keeps ALL the systems updated but only the intranet.

So, new girl said, “Hmm, I definitely need to catch up with you!”

Listened to the rants of another colleague who was just transferred to the Logistics department and it is quite hectic for her that she gets call at 9pm from customer telling her they are unable to collect the container from the depot. Then, the HR Executive came in and told us that we are lucky to be here instead of the logistics department. If you want to be peaceful and happy, then Call Centre is the best choice for you.

She just made the whole thing sound so simple and then I thought over it and she is quite true in certain ways. She also added that, “If you’re bored with being in Call Centre and you want a more challenging position, then you could try logistics.”

For a moment there, I felt like staying a little longer with the company. That’s typical me, easily brainwashed by people. Whenever one states something that sounds logical, I would put some thought into it and if it sounds right, I would think more about it. It was also the same HR person that convinced me in coming to the interview because I initially rejected the interview on the morning of the interview itself and she sounded so disappointed. Even though it was my first time looking for a job but I’ve never seen a HR that would get upset that I’m not coming for the interview. She insisted that I give it a try and which I did.

I went to the company, all blur and lost, because as much as I wanted to just give it a try but deep down inside, I know I just wouldn’t want to be in this. Somehow, she managed to talk some sense into me and so I took the chance and dip myself into a world so unknown to me. I know I didn’t do very well in the interview because I didn’t really prepare of what to answer if the Customer Service Manager asked me on questions like, “What would you do if you get an angry customer?” and stuff like that. I just answered all that I know.

Eventually, the manager found that I’m a very quiet person because probably, I didn’t talk enough in the interview but this HR person, she was so eager to get me this job that she told me if I really want this job, she would be able to help me.

Still not knowing whether I want this job, I told her I REALLY want this job. I told you I’m all blur and lost. Directionless.

It still surprises me how I landed myself a job here because most of the people here are very outspoken. I mean really outspoken. That’s why at times I feel like I don’t belong here. Like how one of the seniors would always tease me saying, “Grace will only speak when spoken to.” It’s sarcastic but very true. As much as I can, I’m trying to minimise that effect I have on someone.

But then, if I asked what is it really that I want to do, what is that I truly desire and what is that I really want to achieve in the longer run, I could say I wouldn’t want to always work in a Call Centre. I don’t know whether this happy feeling is just temporary but I’m still going to look for a job and if a better offer comes along, it is time to re-think and decide again.

The problem with me is I think too much with my heart sometimes instead of my head.

Whatever it is, I’m all eager to use the new phone system again and at the same time all eager to get at least another interview.

May your day be a good one!

Woke up at 2:30am to find that it’s that time of the month again. It’s fantastic how I can wake up at such odd hours. But it was good or else it would be quite a scene in the morning if I had just sleep through the night. It takes a lady to understand what I’m talking about in this first paragraph.

Went to work and applied for Chinese New Year leave. 4.5 days carried forward from last year. Took 2 days off this year’s annual leave. Total 6.5 days taken. All approved! Yippie!! I better enjoy to the maximum when I fly home this time.

Training on new phone system. We’re using Cisco. It’s quite cool.

“Grace, kenapa suara kamu semacam? Sakit ke?”

“Saya sakit kerongkong.”

“Oh, patutlah, suara kamu lain.”

I didn’t mention it but I took sick leave yesterday to see the doctor to get rid of my sorethroat.

“What is wrong with your company?”

“Work with your company can die eh!”

“I want it NOWWW!!!”

Today is quite a “sakit hati” day but I just let it pass. Today’s a day I allow customers to scold, rant and complain without me explaining much because my throat is still a little sore and I didn’t feel like fighting today. I can expect a harsher Monday though.

More training on new phone system, this time only for our department. It’s going to be different. No more direct lines for us, which means my favourite customers won’t be getting me directly anymore. If they are lucky, I will be serving them. Else, not.

We are measurable now, which can be both good and bad but I’m starting to feel like everything is being controlled to a certain extent that there is lesser freedom because they could even track how long your break is, that is the time you use to go to the toilet, go to the pantry, go for lunch and stuff like that. All conversations are recorded. All incoming calls are recorded. Missed calls. Dropped calls. Even outgoing calls, so no more calling your boyfriend using the company’s phone because firstly, they could trace it from the number. Secondly, all conversations are recorded, you wouldn’t like someone else to listen to your lovey-dovey stuff.

Couldn’t fight at the gym today because I didn’t have the usual energy level stored. I walked on the treadmill instead of running. Managed to work out on the cross trainer as usual. Cycled but it was slower and the more I cycled, the more I yawned. Didn’t sweat enough so it wasn’t fun enough but I was tired. Maybe because I’m on medication and it’s that time of the month.

But what I like about all this gym sessions is that my menstrual pain has disappeared and I’m really happy with that because when I have one, it’s really painful. Therefore, this is another point to motivate me to exercise more.

Have an enjoyable weekend!

Quote of the Day:
Every move must serve a purpose. – crazypoogle

I woke up at 3 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I suddenly find myself awake with my mind filled with junk. It’s like you’re trying not to think and telling yourself to sleep but your mind keeps bothering you with things. I don’t know why but my job haunted me last night. I think I dreamt about it too. I was cold but I was also sweating.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. Didn’t work.

And so this morning I woke up with such puffy eyes, a sorethroat. As usual, I didn’t feel like going to work. It took me some time to talk myself into it and finally jumped out of the bed as fast as I could so that I don’t dive back onto the bed again.

Work wasn’t that bad today. A customer said, “Saya dah nak lemas ni tahu kerja dengan company ni!” but it doesn’t affect me much because “Saya pun tengah lemas ni.”

Had to endure 8 hours of fan-blowing together with the already very cold air-conditioning. A colleague who’s pregnant is feeling hot even though it’s really cold and the fan was targetted at her which means it was targetting at me too. I couldn’t tell her I’m cold because she’s pregnant so I just had to sit through the winter.

Mr.Boss wanted me to complete some e-learning stuff and another boss wanted me to help her with her department’s intranet site. I was quite happy with the arrangement because calls today are much less and if I didn’t had the two things to do, it would have been very boring indeed.

Two more days to the weekend. Saturday, please come quick!

Went to meet up with a Business Consultant today. It was actually Pappy’s order for me to meet this guy because he invested in some business and I would be the one managing it together with my sister and a very important person in my life. I’m a total idiot when it comes to business but I will try this one because I always believe in Pappy. In fact, I should be thankful that he’s doing all this for me, my sister, and a very important person in my life.

Whenever Pappy has the chance, he would encourage us to go into business. He’s an example of a person who quitted his stable job and started up business on his own, in a place farway from his home (Pappy is from Muar, Johor) with practically nothing but courage and a wife that supports him.

Looking at how things are now, I see Pappy as very capable. He is my superman, fulltime advisor, part-time ATM (He would help to top up my Touch N’ Go card and fill my car with full tank of petrol when he feels like it) and a wonderful guardian.

So, I’ll try this and see whether it would be a success.

Apart from that, I’ve been thinking, thinking, thinking. Went to fight at the gym. Then, do more thinking, thinking, thinking.

I’ve got this plan that has been playing around in my mind for a few days already and I think it’s a sign that I need to do something about it. Really do something about it.

I might plan to resign earlier, maybe even before I get another new job if it is going to take awhile. The truth is I can say I cannot take it anymore, if not this just wouldn’t come playing in my mind for no apparent reason. If there’s still a gap in between after I quit and before I move on to a new job, I’ll take it as a break.

The very important person in my life says, “Just quit!”. Actually, he has been saying this much earlier to me but I have not taken any action yet. He even predicted that I might not quit this job that early as I’ve planned because he said he understands me, which is true in a way. Sometimes, it’s just so hard for me to just do one thing because I think too much.

Iris says she is not too sure and it is entirely up to me because I am the one making the decision and I should know whether it’s right or wrong.

A friend said, “Why are you forcing yourself to like your job?”

Another said, “Life is too short.”

So now I’m going to tell Mummy about it and see what she says. I expect her to say, “Really cannot already ar?” And then I’ll start with my stories again.

See the amount of assurance I need from all parties?

Then, I would need to seek advise from my fulltime advisor by writing him an email and see what he has to say. I hinted to him that I’m starting to look for a job when he called me just now.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m updating my resume.”

“And send it to where?”

“Everywhere!”

He laughed.

Besides the resume, I would need to learn how to write a resignation letter. I have never written one. Love letters I can write but not resignation letter. It’s all about writing so I”ll just look for some sample and customize it.

It’s time to wake up from dreamland to face the realities of life tomorrow again when I start to work.

Chinese New Year, can you please come quicker?