Category: Life

Do you remember her? I found this picture while my friend helped me to retrieve data from a very old hard disk which was lying around for a few years, 3 years at least. That particular PC died long ago and I only salvaged the hard disk which I didn’t know if it was still functioning until today. I also have a collection of MP3s that I thought I’ve lost forever. Having them back feels so good. I’m playing Mika Nakashima’s “Find the Way” at the moment.

Got my brake light fixed. One side wasn’t working so I drove to a nearby car service centre to get the bulb changed. Each time I visit the car service centre by myself, I need to collect some courage to go. For some reason, I think I will get slaughtered in terms of price because if you were a car mechanic and if you were to look at me, you would think I know nuts about cars so it’s easy to cheat me. Haha. Or it could be the mechanic will be explaining in some technical car terms and I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. Maybe nothing is wrong but he can say like something is wrong and I would believe him. All I want is a car that is working. I’ve been doing this for so many times but each time, I still get that same fear. But there isn’t much that I can do with it since I still have got to settle this on my own.

And when I thought I already have one plate full…..more is coming. Know why we are afraid? Because you are new to it. But once you do it for the first time, the second time will seem easier and do it a few more times, it’s nothing. I’m still adapting to that and still feel a wee bit uncomfortable everyday but I know it’s all for the name of “growth”.

Thank you Nathaniel for your help with the sourcing of new PC (even though I fell in love with the one that I got at first sight and I just had to get it straight away and all I needed was your approval and to know that I was making a right choice. haha!), the formatting of the old PC, fixing my chair, the meals..You are very helpful and very kind.

A BIG THANK YOU AGAIN!  🙂

Hello people,

I’m slightly back to normal already. Yesterday, I woke up feeling restless and cried a little on the bed. Then I told myself that’s life and I should move on. Wiped off those tears and went to work.

I woke up today and felt so much better. Went to the dentist feeling afraid though. My orthodontist and another oral surgeon attended to me. I’m meeting the surgeon for the first time because the plan for today was to insert a mini screw to my back protruding molar. But after another x-ray scan today, it wasn’t advisable to go for it so I will not have to worry about that tooth until my braces is over. Then, I might need to get dental implant and it’s not cheap.

I was researching on the Web to see if mini screw would hurt. Imagining having a hole drilled to your gums and have the screw inserted to your bones. Geli kan? And that’s practically what I’ve been thinking the whole morning. I packed lunch from the supermarket, bought nasi lemak, tuna bun and marble cake, just in case I can’t really bite if I had a mini-screw. It was some sort like a last meal for me kind of feeling. So I was very relieved when I knew I don’t have to worry about it until later, much later.

Went to the hair saloon to get my fringe cut for free. Looks much neater and cuter now. Texted a friend to see if she was free to meet up. She was, so we hang out till 11pm, sitting by the walkway, listening to the band. It was nice.

Thinking back about what made me feel so moody and tension, seems so far away now. I’m ready to take on that challenge and I know I can do it.

Someone asked if I was having hypertension? Yea maybe a little since the beginning of the week…but it’s Friday now and I’m all good. 🙂

My eyes are about to close. Had a long day at work and I’m just tired. I was only trying to get some sleep when it time to wake up this morning. While I was brushing my teeth, the feeling of being worried and scared are all gone, so I ask myself why do I need to put myself into unnecessary stress and torture? The answer could be…so that I’ll be suffering for one day, think until my head is about to crack, worry until my dark eye circle are getting darker and my pimples are popping out….then only I’m satisfied…or let’s say tired to worry further.

Come what may!

I’m restricting myself not to check my work email at home because when I do, I’ll end up thinking of how to solve the problem I’m having and then it screws up my entire night. Like now, I’m resisting myself. I’m not like this one lor..and I don’t know why I just have this extreme enthusiasm to work so hard.

Tonight, my mind kinda flew a bit into the future, imagining how is it like if one day I’ll be quitting my job and become a wife.

It is 4am and I’m not sleeping well. Been tossing and turning on the bed so I figured to get up, write something, then go back to sleep. Maybe that would help. And suddenly, I just thought if I had someone beside me, like a boyfriend, it’ll be good if I can share with him what’s bothering me and then he’ll tell me not to worry and everything will be alright. A midnight hug and then I can go back to sleep. At this hour of the night, I’m feeling rather empty.

I’ve got new responsibilities to shoulder and I’m not really comfortable about it. Reason being I don’t know if I’ll do a good job and I always feel the need to do a good job, which is why I’m sweating over it now. Maybe I can handle it pretty well but I just don’t have the confidence right now…and I’m trying to build some of it in me. The thought of doing something new like this can freak me out. I would drill into the slightest detail and fret at them. This is so not good. I want to be positive and ready to take on the challenge. Thinking on the good side, perhaps the only way to conquer fear is to face it.

I hope I’ll survive tomorrow. Really. And if I do, I think it’ll freak me out lesser and as time goes by, I’ll be immuned to it, I won’t be afraid anymore.

Gracie, you can do it.

Keep your chin up. Don’t take your troubles to bed with you – hang them on a chair with your trousers or drop them in a glass of water with your teeth.

Today is one of those days that I didn’t feel like leaving the office. Just wanted to sit there and work. But I came back anyway and had Japanese cucumber for dinner, with Japanese salad dressing to accompany it. It’s back to the days where I’m finding it hard to think of what to eat alone at night.

This week will be somewhat challenging for me. Don’t really feel comfortable with some part of it but I know I’ll learn something out of it. All I need is some courage and self-confidence.

I had an enjoyable evening on Saturday, watching Fish Leong’s concert. Went with 2 other girlfriends and we bought the most expensive tickets. I’ve never bought the most expensive ticket range to any concert before so this is my first and I thought it was worth it. It was an indoor stadium, with air-condition, good sound system and a concert planned with such detail. There were some sentimental moments that melt your heart. I loved the part where there was only the sound of the piano and her singing, which consisted of a medley of her own songs and other artists’ songs. Lovely!

Michael (Guang Liang) was her guest singer and they sang a duet of the song “Zhang Xin”. Ah Niu made an appearance towards the end of the concert (the encore part) where Fish invited her friends to come on stage. I love Ah Niu too, still the same funny guy! Made us laughed so much. Z-Chen was there too, along with Fei Bi (Phoebe), Ah Fai (one of the singer of the band – Baby).

I had a great weekend with the girls until I came home today and received a letter (final reminder) for a payment which I owe to Telekom. I was thinking very hard of how such thing could happen because I do not have any existing phone line registered under my name with Telekom and I didn’t receive any bill or reminders for payments prior to this…and now I’m getting a final reminder. My eyes were like bulging out reading the contents of the letter.

Called Telekom and they said the account was a valid one (I was hoping it was invalid one and it was just a fake letter to scare me). Then, I questioned on why the final reminder that come with a letterhead of that of Telekom but a third-party company. And it puzzles me further when I was told the account was terminated in year 2002…and I’m only getting the reminder now in 2009?

So, I had to rewind my mind a bit and think hard and all I could collect of is that I once borrowed my name to a friend who needed my name and IC to register for a fixed line. I do not remember for what reason he couldn’t use his but I know I allowed him to do so because I was just thinking of helping a friend. And now, this is what’s happening. I do not want to jump to conclusion that fast but it is not a small amount so that is why I was tracing my friend down and asked him if he ever remembered terminating or not paid for the line.

Anyway, I know my friend is going to settle it if it’s the same phone line that was registered under my name that I could think about. I do not know for whatever reason this phone line ended up this way but I seriously didn’t like that I was thrown with such a “surprise” after a few years. And I think I’m also to be blamed for trusting someone too easily. My friend is not a bad person. In fact, he’s helped me in so many ways back then which resulted in me not really mind helping him out with that phone line.

BUT, I would just like to say that, no matter how you trust your friend and no matter how good he/she is as a person, I would say DO NOT ALLOW SOMEONE TO USE YOUR NAME TO REGISTER FOR SOMETHING WHICH IS NOT YOURS because you just wouldn’t know what you’ll be getting in the end.

Like now, my name is already been blacklisted by Telekom. Sucks you know?

Lesson of the day, sometimes it doesn’t pay to be kind. Not in this way.

I just want my name to be cleared from the list and I hope my friend pays for whatever he used to owe. It’s late and I need to sleep but I just couldn’t until I write this out. I think my fengshui lately ada yang tak betul. From tomorrow onwards, I’ve got to work out a plan. Need to re-invent myself. Need to be smarter and more alert and not to be too kind anymore.

I feel better already and I know this case will be solved soon. MUST BE SOLVED.

Just wanted to share this with you, not so much to portray my silliness but so that you don’t fall into the same situation like I did.

My braces…they are one year old. I’ve grown accustomed to having braces that I feel I could actually live with it for the rest of my life. It is already a part of me. The routine of removing the elastic bands when I have meals, putting it on again after meals, waking up from the bed when I realised I forgot to put them on (sometimes telling myself it’s okay to skip a day, if I was really lazy to get out of bed to get those bands), brushing after meals, smiling with braces, changing toothbrush more often than I need to and the list goes on.

The initial timeline was 6 months to go but I doubt it with the current progress and situation so I’m actually looking at another year but I’m fine with that. I just want the process to go as smoothly as possible.

Someone told me I look more mature than before and that I was aging. AGING. And that I should get someone and get married before the SHINE wears off. :-w

Whatever lor. For all I know, I cannot stop the aging process but I don’t feel old. I think I like my life now than how it was a few years ago during my early twenties, which is full of uncertainties, worries, doubts and silliness. It’s not that I’m all certain and geared for everything that comes my way…but I would say I’m in better control and I will strive to have a better grip. I just want to love life and in return life will love me back.

I may be single but I will be someone lovable so that I’ll fall in love with myself first before someone else does. And I really do think that if a person loves you, he will love you for you. Mummy has never failed to complain about Pappy to me, throughout the years, it has always been the same thing. I know she knows it but yet she still wants to repeat it over and over again. Sometimes my ears get a little bored of it…so I’d tell her…”Ma, Pappy is like that and will be like that. You know him. And it all comes in a package, the good and bad.”

I talked to Mummy just a while ago over the phone and tomorrow’s her birthday.

“I’m very scared and worried right now.”

“Why?”

“I think your dad forgot that it’s my birthday.”

“But your birthday is tomorrow. How can you be so sure he forgot about it when it’s not even tomorrow yet?”

“I don’t know. He just seems busy and all. I hope he doesn’t give me any surprise. And please…don’t remind Papa about my birthday. I don’t want any surprises. But I’m still scared and worried.”

OH GOD. FUNNY OR NOT? EHEHE

I can’t wait for tomorrow. I’ve got a date with a girlfriend after work. We will be holding some rich conversation which will be filled with laughter and all my sorrows will seem so far away. I’m going to a concert over the weekend and then to a warehouse sale even though I’m officially broke.

C’est La Vie

I’ve been having more muscle cramps lately and I don’t know why. It used to happen only when I get down to the swimming pool, when I try to get down to the deepest end of the pool and then try to push myself up so that I don’t hit the bottom of the pool. Then, the cramp will come. Knowing this, I’ve tried to get into the pool more gently and so far it’s fine.

Now, I get them when I sleep and sometimes I don’t even have to do anything to get it. I had one yesterday. Was talking to Mummy over the phone and then I was walking and then landed on the bed and then I turned around to the other side, the cramp came and it was so painful, I cannot even hold a conversation, I had to tell Mummy that I’m in pain and I will call back. I waited for the pain to wear out and was sweating a little and by the time the pain was gone, I was tired that I fell into a short nap. I woke up with a sore butt. It’s a bit painful when my butt touches the toilet bowl seat.

Anyway, because I stayed home the whole day yesterday so I was feeling weird already for being cooped up in the house so I drove to a nearby mall alone, took the new ramp which linked to it..which I think is awesome because it shortens the distance and parking is free. Came back within 2 hours and watched Korean movie..”Baby and Me”. A friend borrowed the VCD to me because it features Mason Moon, a super cute baby.

Let’s side track a bit..I was greeted by someone on MSN one morning, asking me how I am doing. And when the topic came about to updating her about who’s tying the knot. She commented that marriage was the best thing that ever happened to her and asked me when’s my turn. I said I’m single and she said I’m hopeless and that she knows I have got a lot of boyfriends. I don’t know where she got the information from that I’ve got a lot of boyfriends. I just couldn’t look at the word “HOPELESS” as she typed it. Give me a break lah! Why do I even have friends like that? I mean…it’s all nice and then when they get married, they just got to spoil it!!!

One thing I really hate about some people who are married is that they think they are one class higher than the singletons. I don’t know what makes them feel that way but I really hate it. It ranges from “My hubby me buys me this [designer brand] bag the other day]” to well….”You’re single and so hopeless”.

BLOODY HELL.

One thing’s for sure…I won’t be acting like them when I get married.

Okie, back to the good stuff, I chanced upon this radio channel when I was driving and without looking at the radio, I just simply pressed on the number button to tune in to my desired radio channel but I pressed on the wrong one and it brought me to wonderland. ONE FM 88.1 IS GOING TO BE MY RADIO CHANNEL FOR NOW.

They play a wide variety of songs, from the older pop songs to the latest hits…they play Chinese and also English songs…which I think matches my taste so well. I mean, you get the best of both worlds in a channel.

la la la

Good night.

Clad in a sleeveless top and a short pants, I’m going to spend my Saturday at home. Probably Sunday too since I’ve got no date.

One of the things I’ve got to do is to painfully go through every photo folder I have in my PC, sort it, delete those blurry ones and duplicate ones, and burn them into DVD as a backup. The last time my PC crashed, I lost all my photos. So no matter how tedious the process may get (it’s going to be very tedious anyway), I have to make sure I complete this task this time.

I really like this song and video. Watch it, okay? You need to know Mandarin to know the first half of it though.

我爱你
爱在心里不说
可我知道你都能懂的
我像任性小孩被宠着
再失落也有你能依靠
是你啊
我的爱 我的朋友
一辈子和你慢慢走
是不是个幸福的奢求
你总为一切而担心
为我忘了还有自己
恨不得啊
把我放在你口袋里
只能属于你

How I wish I could confess to you
You have made my world full of wonders
Like the sun bursting out from the clouds
Your laughter chase away all my doubts.
Life is harsh but I was never told.
Ups and downs like on a seesaw
Sits this abandoned and lonely soul.

You’re a magic shining upon me.
Shutting out the chills and warm me.
In my pocket
I’ll keep this love
To treasure forever with me…