Blog

My name is Grace. I love to think myself to be amazing so that people would call me “Amazing Grace”.I was born and bred in Sandakan, Sabah, The Land Below the Wind. People often mistake us to live on trees but we don’t and we get pretty offended when getting remarks as such.

I am a Chinese. Teo Chiew descendant. 24 years old.

Single and still searching for her soul.

I am currently residing in Kuala Lumpur. I came to this big city for further studies right after Form 5. Enrolled myself in a Mass Communication course because I love to write and hoping that it would bring me somewhere. However, I quit after a month’s time because I figured I’m not built with the kind of material to survive longer in it. I used to be painfully timid and shy. I wrote in a journal to my lecturer which is part of the assignment that I wouldn’t be able to continue doing Mass Communication because it isn’t really my cup of tea.

Transferred myself into a Business foundation after much begging from the Head of the School Department because she was reluctant to make the transfer for me, telling me I wasn’t going to make it as I am going to start afresh while everyone’s already in their mid semester. I proved them all wrong by surviving it and came out with all As. I thought that was pretty amazing.

Computing was one of the subjects I enjoyed thoroughly during my foundation course which what brings me to get a degree in Information Technology. Programming almost killed me but I managed to survive that too.

I was previously working in a field which is totally out from what I’ve studied. It happens, doesn’t it? I worked in a Call Centre of a shipping line. Not exactly the kind of job I envisioned myself to be in but people say not to be too choosy especially on your first job so that’s why I was there, even though I always question myself on why I’m there.

For work, I answer incoming calls from various kinds of people, some with rather interesting characters – you either love them or have them drive you nuts. You get screwed once in a while by customers whether or not it is your mistake or problem. It’s just natural when you are part of a front line soldier. It is not easy talking to people. That’s why there are times that you got to take it as rock music. Sometimes I like my job, sometimes I don’t.

I’m into my 2nd job now as a System Support in a healthcare company. On a different path to discover what I truly love to do, I’m not there yet and I’m sure one day I’ll be doing something I enjoy doing.

I fly back to my hometown once a year during Chinese New Year with my duck. She’s a plush toy and her name is Ducky. Mummy says I never grow up since I’m always hugging my duck to sleep everynight but I don’t really care because you should do the things you love and this is one of them. At times, she studies and watches TV with me too. Unfortunately, I can’t bring her to work because it’ll freak out my boss.

Favourite hangout place would be the bookstore, music store, cinema, cafes, gym, swimming pool and above all my house. Exceptionally happy when buying herself a cup of Iced Chocolate (Happier if someone buys her one!), having read a good book, writing her soul out, getting a snail mail, when she flies home and drinking a bowl of hot soup.

Prefers listening than talking. Appears calm but always panicking inside.

Suffers from zit. Walks like a penguin. Blushes too easily.

Very shy. Only loud when she writes.

That’s me.

Last updated: 1st July 2006

Went to another open house today but this time, it’s a little further away from town. And I simply love the breeze, scenery and food!

We had roasted pork. Yummy! It has been such a long time since I see a pig being roasted and then chopped to slices.

Tomorrow is my last day in Sandakan before I fly off on Sunday noon. 🙁

When I’m back home, it’s like keeping memories alive again.

You have no idea how by just looking at one fruit like guava brings me back to the time when a love blossomed during my holidays in Sandakan a few years back. He’s no longer my love now but a friend.

I’ve been inviting him over to my house every Chinese New Year but he hasn’t turn up for 2 years or so. Expecting that he wouldn’t be coming this year, I didn’t invite him. But guess what? He came. He was calling a friend who was already in my house and that friend passed the phone to me so it was only courtesy to invite him over. That was how he came.

We talked normally. No feelings of hatred or whatsoever. Something that I’ve tried to overcome for so long, after all the arguments, fights and misunderstandings. We broke up twice. He dumped me once and I dumped him once. Young people, they like to dump one another.

I like the way it is now because it’s fact that we cannot be lovers but only friends. Each time we talk, we fight when there isn’t really anything to fight about. So no matter how much you love a person but the communication just doesn’t seem to flow, it’s only wise to step back and make peace with one another.

So, that’s basically what I’ve been doing in the afternoon, reminiscing the past.

After that, I went out with my family to have dinner. Lou sang! It was good! And then, ended the night by hanging out with a bunch of girlfriends at QQ Ice, a place that serves bubble tea. My thirst of going to favourite places is slowly being fulfilled, this is one of it because I used to hang out here with my schoolmates too. See? It’s all about memories.

The days I’m here is getting shorter and shorter. I’m preparing myself to go back to KL. Thinking about going to work is already killing half of my motivation and enthusiasm but I’ll keep myself alive by looking out for opportunities. It is only the mind that makes things scarier. At the mean time, I’ll savour the time I have here.

You have a good day too!

Went to have breakfast at Kampung Buli Sim Sim today. A fishing village where wooden houses are built on stilts. You can read more about Sandakan here.

After that, it was shopping time. Mummy went to buy vegetables and then we went to Tai Chung Supermarket. To my delight, I found this!

This is one of my favourite snack when I was in school. Usually, I can only find those in strips but this brand comes in slices. It certainly brought back sweet memories of my school years.

More updates later!

For the past few days, I’ve been waking up really early and today is no exception. This is all because of the sound of drums of the lion dance. The lions really get up early and they will come visiting you by 7:30am. So, being one that loves it so much, I just had to get up even though I could just continue lying on my bed.

There were a few more house visiting to go today. First house we went to belonged to Pappy’s ex-worker. She used to be Pappy’s secretary and has quitted long long time ago. Yet, we will still visit one another during Chinese New Year. She doesn’t call me Grace but “Chris Koh”.

In the afternoon, a few of my ex-classmates came to the house for a short while before we headed off to another house. It’s nice to listen to stories of an ex-classmate who’s now a teacher. It made us laughed a lot!

Today, I’m a bit sad, knowing that my 10 days back to Sandakan trip is already half way through. I’ve got three and a half days more before I would be flying back to KL. And it seems like I’ve only been back home yesterday and I’m flying away again very soon.

I really miss this place, a lot. Pappy and a few friends have asked me whether I would want to come back to work over here. It isn’t really a bad idea because I just feel so nice being around here. It’s not so hectic and you lead a simpler life here. It’s just that it’s hard to get an environment in which you could learn a lot like in big cities.

When I graduated from high school, I wanted so much to go out to see the world. I just can’t wait to go out there and discover what’s in it for me. Studying in KL was fun and at the same time challenging and I have grown throughout the years. Now that I’ve been working for almost a year now, first thing I feel is to quit and give myself a break. Having that break in Sandakan would be best.

I just feel that I’m no longer as excited and enthusiastic as I used to be. The undying spirit of mine is slowly slipping away. I don’t know what brought about that change but it is just different and I often question myself why I’m so lost.

I am no longer as thoughtful and caring as I used to be. I used to really take care of things and people but now I’m starting to get a little lazy and sometimes I just couldn’t be bothered. Perhaps it’s because of the grind I go through everyday that I’m now aware that I sometimes cannot be very thoughtful and caring even if I want to in order to protect myself.

But I know once I overcome that then I’ll be alright. I think when you’re in your 20s and you’ve just started to work (it’s almost a year but I still think I’m very new), it’s just a period of self-discovery and experiment so I’ll be banging here and there, till I get really comfortable and able to carry myself well.

Hence, it was comforting to be able to listen to stories and to talk to my friends, knowing that I’m not the only one who’s going through the same transition.

After spending time with my friends, it was some quality time spent with my family. I would really need to appreciate the remaining few days while I’m here because it would be a really long time before I get to come back again. Ah, it’s always the same feeling I’m feeling everytime when it’s approaching to the day I’m flying back to KL again.

Sometimes, you just wished you could hold back time.

Cute or not? It bowed a few more times for me to take a picture of it.

Met up with a friend today who’s two years younger than me. We only get to meet once a year which is during Chinese New Year. Sometimes I like talking to people a few years younger than me because they give you a different perspective on life, most of the time very positively. I learn a lot from them too.

He told me a rather surprising story, about going out with someone 4 years elder than him for 2 years already and still going strong.

Just listening and looking at his smiling face, I could sense how happy he is. And I’m happy about that.

I, too once despise the idea of going out with someone younger than me. I would want someone who’s older because it would mean that he is someone who’s mature enough to protect and guide me better.

However, when you fall in love with someone who’s younger, you will think about that “idea” you have planted in your mind for so long and at the same time, thinking whether the age factor really matters.

Having gone through that, I think it doesn’t really matter to me. Maybe because the age difference wasn’t that big as 4 years in the case of my friend’s relationship. But I think what really matters is being able to get along well with one another.

I like having heart to heart conversations like these. It’s like going home with a heart-warming story to be remembered.

I have no visiting to do today and I’m just relaxing myself at home, watching TV, accompanying my parents and tweaking purplewabbit.com. Please pardon the mess if you see one. I’m doing live tweaking.

As I was tweaking the site, came a purple lion! I’m not kidding and I’m feeling so ecstatic! I’m supposed to finish writing the entry for the first day of Chinese New Year but this is just too interesting to not write about it. So, I’m going to post this before I start writing yesterday’s entry.

Usually, either Mummy, Pappy or Iris would be the one giving away the ang pau since I would be behind the camera, taking pictures of my beloved lions. I do love them a lot. I’m a bit obssessed with it as well. But this time, Pappy was out, Mummy in the room being massaged and Iris in the toilet, which left me the only one to give away the ang pau and I just had to put down the camera. So, no picture of the purple lion but I’m still all happy and excited.

“KONG HEY FATT CHOY!!” A boy shouted.

I gave him the ang pau and greeted him “fatt choy” in return.

A Malay boy was holding on to the lion’s tail and he said, “Ada air tak? Nak minum.”

For the first time in my entire life, I’m seeing this happening. Normally, they would go away after getting their ang pau. But this one asked me for a drink. Lion must be very thirsty.

Okay, so I ran my way to the back and got an apple-flavoured packet drink. But I thought I ought to get two, one for the Malay boy, another for the boy who greeted me.

I was on my way to the front when the same boy said, “Tiga!”

It was for another boy who’s behind the lion’s head.

So I handed them the packet drinks and they seemed happy.

“Thank you oh, lenglui. Thank you!”

That doubles up my happiness!

I thought I saw a purple lion. I did! I did! I did saw a purple lion!