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I dreamt about my car last night..that it was stolen.

I was having meal with some other people. They weren’t visible in my dreams so I couldn’t specify who. I parked my car in front of a row of shops. And after finishing my meal, the car was gone.

I had others to help me search for my missing car but it was nowhere to be found. The next day, the car was found at a street just behind that row of shop which I parked the day before. What was missing from the car was the stereo set and some other things from the dashboard drawer.

The weird thing was that the car key was in the car ignition and yet the car stealer didn’t drive my car away.

I know it’s a weird dream.

I think I love my car so much that I’m dreaming about it at night. I really love my car. It has accompanied me though my very first job, break-ups, heartaches, wonderful trips, cruises on the highway and shielding me from bird shits. We have even got lost together and then finding ourselves back. Most of the time, it’s just me and the car. It has survived one quite major crash and a very minor crash. Some bruises on the side, inflicted by others. For me, I think it’s hard to keep a car flawless driving in the city.

It has taught me to be braver and more courageous. It actually takes some little gut to drive. The nerve to side park and reverse park. My reverse parking was once very lousy, now I think I’m doing pretty well. But perhaps given another car, I would need to adjust myself again.

It has taught me about planning and to have a sense of direction. Something I like to have in a guy. A good sense of planning and direction is very cool in my eyes. OK, back to story, you know when you have used the same route for quite some time, you somehow know which lane to stick to at certain stretch of the road to have a smooth flow to your destination. You need to know how to drive to know what I’m talking about!

It has taught me about prediction as well. You know how sometimes you know some crazy driver will just zoom out of a junction without really looking at other cars? So you’ll always have a lookout even though you know it’s your lane.

Sometimes when I’m at the kitchen, I will check for my car through the window, to see if it’s there. Then, I’ll tell myself silently, “Ohhhhh….it’s there.” 😀
When I’m going to be away for a few days or more, I will say “Goodbye” to it too silently.

I just…like my car very much.

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was ranting all day right up till I went to bed. Even before going to bed, I was still feeling the fire raging in me. I just had to SMS a friend who see if he’s awake because my plan was to disturb him and make him a listener.

God was kind to me last night. My friend was still awake so I yak yak and yak till I got tired.

This morning I woke up feeling a little tired, dreading to face reality but I trudged on nonetheless. It feels better today. One thing I’ve learnt yesterday…I cannot do something repeatedly up to a point where I’m repeating it without knowing what’s the point of me doing it and I derive no purpose or meaning in such actions. It was a wall-knocking day..let’s just sum it up that way.

Should it continue today…I will have more victims to be made listeners. It has not ended but I’ve knocked enough walls for the past few days to see some light to it.

You may not know what exactly I’m talking about but I just can’t write in a more detailed way. I actually wrote a separate post last night but decided to keep it private…and yet though it feels like it’s written…but it feels like it’s not acknowledged and publicised and posted because it’s kept private. It’s like I’ve written and expressed whatever I wanted to write yet it’s still hidden. A stone held in your hand, unthrown to the sea.

I brought Mum to watch Bolt with me last Saturday. Great fun! I’m so in love with Bolt and Rhino, the hamster. He is one passionate hamster.

The only downside is wearing the 3D glasses. After some time it was painful for me at the ears.

My favourite quote:

Rhino: Bolt! I can be a valuable addition to your team…
Bolt: I’m listening…
Rhino: I’m lightning quick; I have razor-sharp reflexes. Wha! And I’m a master of stealth.
[laughs]
Rhino: Plus, I’ll keep the cat in check.
[Mittens rolls her eyes]
Bolt: [Gets down close to Rhino’s ball] The road’ll be rough.
Rhino: [indicates] I have a ball.
Bolt: There’s no turnin’ back.
Rhino: Guess I’ll have to “roll” with the punches!
[“surfs” his ball]
Bolt: Easy won’t be part of the equation…
Rhino: Promise!
Bolt: I gotta warn ya, going into the belly of the beast – danger at every turn.
Rhino: [getting closer] I eat danger for breakfast!
Bolt: You hungry?
Rhino: [cracks neck] STARVING!

I am excited!

VERY!

I have something to look forward to. I have something to work on. Something I’m passionate about I would say. I’m doing this with 2 friends, which adds up to more excitement.

I can’t tell you what it is yet…because for all means, I’m afraid it will not come true.

But what I can tell you is that this is one of my new year resolutions. Perhaps one of the biggest thus far.

I don’t want any Christmas presents. I just want this to happen! 🙂

I don’t know what time I’ll be sleeping tonight. It’s 11:30pm already but I’m still stuck here completing my performance review form. This is by far the longest form I’ve seen as compared to the previous companies I’ve worked with.

Also stayed up till midnight last night to brainstorm and list down things in point form. Today, I’ve got to elaborate those points..and then think of more points.

December is going to be super busy for me. Working during weekends will come into the picture.

I’m sleepy and tired but to keep myself awake, I need to side track a bit and so I’m here to write something, listening to some Christmas songs…and now I have to go back to that form. Can’t wait for tomorrow to end because this week has been rather torturous. hehe

I’ve got to get to work earlier now. The place where I’m working, where there are also many other people working in surrounding units, is now like swarmed with more people. Ada tak pagi-pagi pergi, parking dah kena park jauh-jauh. I don’t know why there is a sudden hike in cars in the car park. Don’t look down on parking space, they are the next important thing on Earth next to food. Don’t you realise getting a parking sometimes either makes or breaks your day?

Just like eating oats for breakfast, which has become a routine every working morning (Monday-Friday). The next routine I want to practise is to SMS/call Pappy a few times a week. I’ve never really call or SMS Pappy over the years because most of the time I’ll call Mummy to express how I feel and to tell her what’s happening to me. My conversation with Pappy over the phone or SMS is always very short and quick. We do it the way a man does it. Short and straight to the point. Haha.

But it’s fine really. I have kick-started the plan this week and so far I’m doing fine. I think it will make Pappy happy too. Well, at the end of the day, when you’re tired from your work, all you want is to feel a little love so I will give him that little kasih sayang.

I’ve used up so much brain cells today that I think I’ve become a bit stupid at the end of the working day. More brain cells will be killed tomorrow…and it is likely to continue until Christmas. I can’t wait for the year to end. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’ll be getting my holidays soon. And do you know what year 2009 means?

IT MEANS I’M GOING TO BE 27 YEARS OLD.

How can that be?

I was only 20 yesterday.

Mummy even reminded me that it was at the age of 27 that she gave birth to me. So, what am I supposed to do?

Go to bed and enjoy being 26 for now. Good nite!

Say goodbye to helmet hair. (A friend of mine actually described my hair like I’m wearing a helmet on it. Thick and bushy.)

Say goodbye to flying hair. (It flies so high, it can be a hook.)

Say hi to straight and silky. A bit flat for now as always after rebonding. When it gets not too straight, it’ll be perfect.

Mummy didn’t like it though. I think she despises straight hair. I have no idea. She commented that my hair looks like shit. Hurt a bit but I’m getting immuned already. I sometimes get remark that sounds like that from her for certain things. She cares but she cares in a very hard kind of way sometimes. So..sometimes it’s painful to the ear but it comes with good intention. Always have to remind myself about that so that I don’t get put down easily.

Shit or not, my hair is more manageable now. I don’t have to painfully blow dry my hair after every wash with extra care and detail. It has come to a point where even when I blow dry my hair, it appears messy too. The hair looks different in the morning when I wash it last night and when I wash it during the day and it appears different again the next day. It is unpredictable and I have more bad hair days than good hair days lately.

Hair is a woman’s crowning glory so of course I got to make it look good. It reflects me as a whole and I feel very much better now. Head is lighter. Hair is neater.

Today is a day that I should be grateful that I still have a job. Even though somehow I have a feeling that I will be someplace somewhere doing something closer to heart.

After not keeping abreast with the news lately, no time to read newspaper, dare not surf news during working hours and will only spend remaining time left before bedtime to blog, I was flipping through the papers today and all I see is year-end sale, warehouse sale and more sale. So..if I ever splurge this time, it will be the papers’ fault! 😛

SMSed the-guy-who-used-to-love-me-and-then-decided-to-disappear-into-thin-air for some non-personal stuff matter but received no reply. For the first time in my life, I believe someone really hates me. But the good news is that I think I’m handling rejection better now, or maybe the correct term to be used here is non-responsiveness.

I’m going to rock the world tomorrow. The world will rock with me day after tomorrow and before you know it, December is here and I’ll tell Santa I’ve been a good girl and I deserve some guy. He will always get his Christmas present everyday because that gift would be me.

I used to hate people who would always talk about how lonely they are or how meaningless life is without someone to love or how desperate someone can get and always wanting to have someone by their side because I think without it, you can still survive and life will still go on. But look at me now, I think I’m becoming a mat nenek, everytime I’ll always come back writing about the same stuff. Single. Needs boyfriend. Emotional. Needs boyfriend. Floating through life. Needs boyfriend. Christmas. Needs boyfriend.

But I think la hor, when I really have someone approaching me, I might just cringe at the thought of it.