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23 November 2008 (Sunday)

Pappy, Mummy and I went for a day trip to Tip of Borneo (Tanjung Simpang Mengayau), the northernmost tip of Borne?, Kudat. (If you could just see the pink circle on the picture above. click to zoom) We travelled about 3 hours from Kota Kinabalu, passing by small towns and kampungs and you get to see padi fields along the way, greens and more greens. There were a few places that you could stop by along the way which included Kampung Gombizau Honey Bee Farm (we stopped by but they were already out of honey for sale) and the Rungus longhouse. Rungus is an ethnic group of Borneo, sub-group of the Kadazan-Duzun tribe. You see…I don’t know all this. Have never heard about Rungus until now.

There are just so many places to discover and explore in Sabah. What I like about this trip is that I get to travel on bumpy roads. The road quality has indeed improved, not like the olden days where it’s just rock all the way. It’s bumpy on some part, otherwise, it’s not too bad a journey. Bumpy roads remind me of my childhood where I used to  follow Pappy on his jeep and we’ll go into the oil palm estates.

This is the Tip of Borneo, which is the meeting point of Sulu Sea and South China Sea. The beach is very clean. The waters are clear. There is no facilities or resorts whatsoever that allows you to swim and picnic here and I prefer it to be that way. Untouched. This place should remain untouched. It feels great to be able to travel up north and say you are at the tip of Borneo!

We then had lunch at Kudat town. This is a very very small place. Quiet. The restaurant that we went to was Sungai Wang Restaurant, probably the few Chinese restaurants left in Kudat. Then, we stopped by Kudat Golf & Marina Resort before heading back to Kota Kinabalu. Stopped by near Kota Marudu (if I’m not mistaken) to get some jagung pulut and honey.

The final destination that we went before calling it a day was Nexus Resort, Karambunai. No luck with sunset as the sky was dark and gloomy. Else, it would have been perfect.

I’m back to KL from Kota Kinabalu.

Received an SMS from Pappy while I was having dinner, telling me he’s listening to music at the hotel lounge alone. Somehow this stung my heart. Tears welled up in my eyes just like that. Maybe Pappy is not lonely but enjoying his private time by himself…but I can’t help to feel that he’s lonely..after what has happened the night before.

The main reason why I flew to KK was because I wanted to spend time with my parents and at the same time celebrate their wedding anniversary with them. I expected a simple and quiet dinner..just the 3 of us. Mummy expected the same too but it turned out to be bigger than just the 3 of us and with that, Mummy got very mad and the cold war thing started and I must say I’m very stressed out.

I wasn’t happy seeing the both of them not happy. I couldn’t be on either side even though I seemed and appear to be swaying to Mum’s side more but there is a reason to it because Mummy needs someone to tell or remind her ot pacify her about why Pappy is doing this. Really..it’s not that bad. It’s just two people having different views…and I was just trying to narrow that gap. I don’t know if Pappy was okay. He looked composed and even if he’s downright sad, you wont be able to trace it from his face. Maybe he’s strong but I can’t help but to feel he’s bleeding inside. So much so that after the dinner, I went up to him, hold and hug him then give him a kiss. So many things I wanted to tell him, about how great the dinner was, how romantic of him to ask the band to sing, the karaoke and the cake…and most of all, the thought of celebrating their love and wanting friends of his to witness it. Mummy didn’t want all that.

So you see….very susah isn’t it?

I felt like crap and I’m still feeling very sad and pitiful for Pappy that after I came back to KL, I was still feeling very much that way until the SMS from Pappy came that triggered me further to write an email to Pappy to tell him how I feel and give him a whole picture of the whole thing that just happened. I just wanted him to know his efforts are very much appreciated and that Mummy may not seem like she’s happy but I know deep down inside or maybe few days or years to come, she’ll remember this night.

One of the reason why I think my dad is the greatest is because he places special occasions like this in a very important place in his heart. And even when he knows mum might not approve of having it big, he still wants to do it. I tell you, both of them are so stubborn that I feel like shouting to both of them to listen to me.

I may not have enjoyed my trip to KK entirely. There were some good times minus the cold war between my parents that i got stuck in. Good food. No picturesque sunset though..because it was gloomy all the days when i was in KK when evening comes.  Cloudy and rainy. Idiotic girl on the plane, being ignorant of switching off her mobile phone when in the air craft. You know how I hate this kind of people. Instructions given, repeated so many times by the air stewardess on the PA and yet acts dumb and ignorant. I know she knows it’s not allowed because she was hiding and trying to text with her mobile phone. Really bloody idiot lor. Even when the plane was about to take off, she can still answer one call. I almost wanted to vomit blood. Until my mum told her off asking her if she knows mobile phones are not allowed to switch on in the plane. She stared at my mum and said, “I KNOW” like my mum owe her 1 million bucks. Bloody hell!

Back to story..

But I’ve come to learnt that no matter how sunny a relationship/marriage is, there will always be rainy days, if not thunderstorm! Marriage is harder to maintain because you are not allowed to give up easily. Sometimes I’ll wonder how Pappy put up with Mummy and how Mummy puts up with Pappy. Even though the dinner was kind of a disaster ..not physically but rather emotionally, I know things will move on and tomorrow will be another day. Mummy will stop getting mad over Pappy…even though I know the next time she gets mad over him will come again very soon..she gets mad over the same few things about Pappy…which isn’t going to change no matter how many times she’ll get angry about it. And even when Pappy knows she’s not happy about that, he’ll continue to do the same. Maybe rectify some things here and there but his personality will always be his personality. Some things can be changed..some things cannot. It’s like it’s in your roots.

This is a detox entry of mine. Cried before writing this because I was already crying when I was composing an email to Pappy, followed by this and I’m so tired now. Need to go to work tomorrow, probably to save someone’s day.

Mummy flew back with me so aku dah stress dah. She is acting like a volcano lately, when pushed the wrong button, will explode. me hav to be veli carefool.

It’s either my friends are busy.

Or what I’m writing is crap and it has bored my readers to death.

I only have 9 visitors today.

I’ll be away for 5 days so the number of visitors are definitely going to drop further.

I’ll deal with it when I get back. Some drastic action is needed to capture your hearts again.

Till then, have a wonderful weekend!

I really enjoyed my dinner tonight. Really really enjoyed! Was having dinner with my friends at Shabu-Shabu Restaurant, Bandar Puteri Puchong. Opposite of Giant Hypermarket and same row as Citibank, a few doors away from Old Town White Coffee.

Shabu-Shabu is a kind of Japanese hotpot/steamboat and I’ve always love shabu-shabu. The one that we had in this place allows you to have your own pot so you can just dump in whatever you want and enjoy your meal. You can go figure what to put in your soup to make it sweet and tasty. They have lots of ingredient to allow your creativity to flow in terms of making the soup. Maybe it’s just me. I go crazy when I see ingredients like radish, tomato, cabbage. I’ll dump those in my soup, let it boil while I enjoy the rest of the food, accummulating the sweetness of the soup so that I can enjoy as I go on.

Loved the fish slice and I must say the thin sliced pork is very yummy. And they serve you a special kind of sauce that you can dip with. It’s buffet style and there’s a kaiten belt in front of you, like those you find in a Japanese restaurant, you pick whatever you like. It’s all stored in little plates, all neat and clean.

RM26.50 per pax and you can eat all you want. I was eating non-stop for about an hour and I finished the whole pot of soup.

2 more working days and I’m off for a holiday! CAN’T WAIT!!!

I’m going to have a sleepy day at work tomorrow. It’s 1am and I just took my bath and all getting ready to bed. Was at the Stadium Putra, Bukit Jalil to watch the tennis matches between John McEnroe, Bjorn Borg, James Blake and Roger Federer. Among the 4, I only know one of them, which is Roger Federer so I wasn’t really 100% excited to go watch the match. I was there because I’ve got free tickets. Pappy got them from don’t know where and his friends were tagging along….and Pappy wasn’t sitting with me. He upgraded himself to sit somewhere for free while I was stuck with his friends. Haha!

But I really enjoyed it. My first time watching a tennis match in an indoor stadium and it was cold inside! John McEnroe was very funny and entertaining. I thought Bjorn Borg was very cool and very “yau yeng”. So I got to know who James Blake is and everybody was going crazy over Roger Federer. You could hear the occasionally, “I Love You Roger Federer!” from the crowd.

I have been feeling quite empty inside generally and I was trying to pin-point what exactly it is that is making me feel like there is no substance in my daily working life. Until a few days ago, I got to talk to someone new at work and it gave me a different shed of light and I was having lunch with someone who I don’t usually lunch with and something kind of hit me…and for some reason, I told myself I want to be a better person starting today. I don’t know how better that would be but I guess I want to put meaning in what I do….even though it’s hard to see how meaningful I can put it into use but it’s do-able.

I need to have that spark of passion lighted up to get going again. Half of the time, I’m just trudging through. It’s easy getting trapped in doing what you do everyday, you already know the routines, you know what steps you need to go through but we often forget that we must also understand and have a bird’s eye view about things that we do and why are we doing it. Sometimes we know certain things must be done in certain ways but we never go figure why it must be done that way…or could there be any other ways to get things done.

So you see…I’ve got a lot of thinking to do. This came about as I’ve been staring at the same thing for so long that I figured I have to put some colours on it…else it’s going to be just plain dull and boring for the days to come.

okay..BEDTIME!!

It has been 2 days that I woke up way around lunch time. It doesn’t happen very often because I usually get up before 9, the most 10, on weekends. The best time during bedtime is not when you are about to kiss the world goodbye and leave all your sorrows behind, but it’s that time when you just woke up and you’re still lingering on the bed, the soft blanket covering your body and your face partly. You dream about the goodness of the day ahead and smile at your stupid soft toy duck.

Then you see the book laying next to you that says, “Read me. I know you can’t get enough of me. Go on, flip me open and devour every word in me.”

And so I spend the next 2 hours or so, reading on the bed. It was when the time was approaching 1:30pm that I finally got out of bed to make myself fruit juice (2 oranges, 1 red apple and 1 big green apple) and continued with laundry and cooked porridge.

Then, dived back onto the sofa to finish the book. There is a need to finish it today because I can’t wait but to know what will unfold for the characters in the book. Found myself repeating the same line again when I come across a quote that strikes the chord in me, thinking of how brilliant it is that someone can come up with this. Then, I’ll repeat it again out loud in my mind and heart, wanting to absorb the very essence of the words and the meaning to it.

I managed to finish the book and I feel so much better.

Sometimes all you need is just a book or a movie to turn your life around again.

It just dawned upon me that I now have more girl friends than guy friends. The people that I hang out with lately are all girls group. Office also all girls. Lepak with my hometown mates also all girls. So maybe that explains why when I see a male species, I go berserk.

During my college days, I used to hang out with the guy group because I didn’t really liked some of the girls. And I thought the guys were more understanding and less fussy then and they took good care of me.

Now, I find peace and joy, just yakking away with the girls about problems, minor annoying stuff, basically everything under the sun, including my darkest secrets. It’s the girls who are taking good care of me now that I have no luck with guys whatsoever.

Let me explain the berserk part. You see, when I see a new guy or a friend or a friend I’ve not met for a very long time, I’ll sometimes go imagine about if we would look cute together. Then, if I think I like him, I’ll ask myself the “50 years” question. This is a popular question by my dad. He doesn’t have to ask you if you love the guy and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t love the guy who you’ve chosen to be with. All you need to answer him…is if you could live with this guy you’ve chosen for at least 50 years.

My dad is definitely not in a hurry to see me being married off and I kind of know why. It feels like he’ll lose a daughter as in I’ll love my husband more than I’ll love my dad..and so he’s keeping me as his daughter as long as it can be…though I know deep down inside, he also wishes I’ll get someone soon.

My mum absolutely wants me to be married off as fast as possible. She worries about me more than my younger sister because I do not have someone to take care of me but my sister does. But I also think she would also be the one who wished it didn’t happen so fast when it really happens. 😀

Anyway…it’s 2:44am and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing staying up so late. I watched Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa today. SO CUTE. SO FUNNY. I repeat. SO CUTE!!!

There were 2 mascots today outside of TGV One Utama. Alex the Lion from Madagascar and the penguin! I almost died when the penguin flipped its flipper. I stood there for a few minutes with an idiot smirk plastered on my face.

I’m a sucker for cute things and it only gets more serious. You only need to look at my work desk. Getting filled with more cute stuff because my motivation and passion for work is boosted by cuteness.

It’s 2:55am..I’m a little sleepy but I want to continue reading “My Favourite Wife” by Tony Parsons. I just love this book lah. Really love it. I read it before I go to bed and the first thing when I wake up in the morning, even before I brush my teeth.

Oh…book book, here I come!

Just got back from dinner at JayaOne. My second time there. The first time I went there, I dined at Kissaten, a fusion Japanese restaurant. You will love it just looking at the menu. Pretty and unique.

This time when I went…I went to Kissaten too. Sometimes I’m just like that. When I like it, I would want to bring others there too. Celebrated birthday for an ex-colleague, now my friend, with other colleagues. I like it very much lor!!

Today is a definitely a better day than yesterday. Yesterday I wasn’t being myself. Like one perempuan gila only.

Someone asked if I’m a fresh graduate. Make me so damn happy only.

Sometimes it’s good to be sick. I get to stay home and read a book, learn a new dish.

Aside from sleeping, I was reading this book “My Favourite Wife” by Tony Parsons. This is my problem, before finishing a book, I’ll start with a new one because it’s so tempting. I’ve arranged all the new books to display themselves at the shelf of the bedroom instead of the one in the middle room. This is to remind myself how many new books I have that I need to start working on it.

Tony Parsons has always been my favourite author. He is one sensitive writer..very feminine to a certain extend in his writings..every detail of it makes you feel like you can picture whatever he’s really writing about. Don’t know how to describe it…but I just like his books. He write about love, relationship, family, life. That’s what I love reading in a book.

Lately I’ve been blushing more easily than I already have. This is freaking me out. Colleague talk to me also I can blush. Not like we are talking about some mushy stuff that is embarassing. I will just blush for no reason. So you see…I can never lie. Why? Because my face sometimes betrays me. I can be saying this but for some reason, my face will tell otherwise. So I can’t help but to be very honest at times. Because I’d rather be honest than to find someone seeing me blushing and to discover that I’m actually lying.