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Due to the lack of sleep last night (stubbornness of wanting to finish off a blog entry), I felt like a zombie at work today. I can label it the sleepiest day so far working here.

When I came home, it suddenly felt like the house is quieter than usual. I switched on the computer and read blogs that I didn’t get to read for so many days. Then, I didn’t quite have the mood to have dinner. Next, I went lying on the sofa and then I got up and decided to make do with mum’s cooked food which is stored in the refrigerator. And when I was re-heating the yam rice, I was crying as I stir the rice. It was so pitiful, I wasn’t quite sure what happened to me.

Then I continued pouring more tears when I sat down on the chair in the kitchen, holding that bowl of rice while waiting for the soup to boil. Finished my bowl of rice and then drinking the soup as I chat with a friend online. I felt better.

And the only reason I can gather for the reason I cried is that, after Iris has gone back, I didn’t really cry that pitifully because I still had Mummy around and when Mummy flew back a few days ago, I had my friends and my days were filled with activities, attended weddings and all so today is the official day where it all falls back to the quiet house again. I didn’t even have the time to cry or sit down and really be alone. As always, the transition period is the hardest to bear even though what it takes is for me to cry for 10 minutes and then get over with the transition period. I’m okay now.

Met someone and I’ve been thinking about him a lot. The thing is he’s taken. That’s what is happening to the good guys that I come to know of. Well, that’s the reason why they’re taken in the first place. So, I will pray day and night, hoping that I will meet you. I know you are somewhere out there and I’m here waiting.

I’ve just had the most wonderful weekend ever!

It is so wonderful that I’ve been feeling a huge cloud of warmth, happiness, love and laughter blanketing me the whole day yesterday. I can’t say this enough!

I can go on and on talking just about yesterday…like as though I was the one getting married!

Okay, this is going to be long. This post is written at 11:59pm on a Sunday night (19 Oct 2008) and I ought to be sleeping because I need to work tomorrow but I MUST write this. Must savour the very last detail before my memory fails me tomorrow. 🙂

This is the hand corsage that I get to wear with the other jimui-s. My first hand corsage of my life so I was feeling very excited just putting it on. It somehow signifies that we are one level special than the rest.

Reached the bride’s house at 8am than the scheduled 7:30am because we had a late night the night before and we had to wait for our turn while registering as visitor to the condo as there was a lady that was arguing with the security guard. But we were still early as the groom and his hengdai-s only came at 8:45am.

There are 11 jimui-s altogether, which includes a guy. He’s the thorn among the roses and also the youngest of us all. All jimui-s are secondary school mates of the bride and we are all from Sandakan. All of us are working in KL, except for one who purposely flew all the way from Sandakan just to attend this wedding. Very touching!

The colour theme for the jimui-s is white so we were all dressed in white or in something that has got the white element. Very nice.

Let me list out to you the things that we set out to “torture” the 12 hengdai-s.

1. 3 metal plates and 3 metal spoons for the groom and his 2 hengdai-s to knock to greet the neighbours. The groom has to shout out the name of the bride he wishes to marry and then expresses his love. They have to walk along the corridor of the condominium. This is indeed a good wake-up call for the neighbours.

2. Next, was pumping. And we managed to punished the groom’s brother because he wasn’t pumping properly. Punishment = applying masking tape on one of his for leg waxing.

3. More exercise on the way! All hengdai-s were each given a balloon and they had to blow it not larger than the one that we’ve blown as a sample. After that, 3 volunteers had to stand out and they had to wear bras that we’ve prepared by filling it with the balloon that they have blown into the bra. hehe. They then had to piggy ride each other and each pair had to keep another balloon sticking towards the head of the two hengdai-s being piggy ride.

4. We filled up a bucket with water, ICE, an apple, greenbeans and a few blackpepper. One volunteer has to offer himself to bite the apple from the bucket of icy water just using his mouth. No hands allowed and when he managed to bite the apple out of the water, the other hengdai-s would help to eat the apple. It was funny because it looked like they were doing french-kissing. 😛

5. After the apple is out of the bucket, the hengdai-s have to search for one black pepper among the greenbeans in icy cold water. They passed this with flying colours.

6. Next up was to have 2 volunteers to do pumping and drink a can of Tiger beer at the same. They can only suck 10 times and finish up the can of beer. The groom’s other brother was one of the volunteers and he managed an impressive less than 10 times of sucking and finished up the beer. The other was struggling. He couldn’t drink and you know what happened? We sort of let him go because he was really looking like he’s going to collapse anytime soon. Immediately after that, he was already feeling faint and he didn’t turn up for the wedding dinner later that night. What an impression to make but it sure was funny!

7. Seaweed session. Hengdai-s were ordered to form a line and they have to pass a strip of seaweed from the beginning of the line towards the end. Also looked like they were doing french-kissing!

8. The last was the singing session. We were trying to think of a song on bachelorette party the night before and when I came home the song just came to me and that was it. We set it to be the song to be sung on the day. It’s “I Will Follow You” by Ricky Nelson. It’s the DiGi song if you don’t know it. It’s catchy and I like the part where it goes…

I love you, I love you, I love you
And where you go I’ll follow, I’ll follow, I’ll follow
You’ll always be my true love, my true love, my true love
From now until forever, forever, forever

I will follow you

(In fact, it is playing in the background repeatedly while I’m composing this entry. Aku suka sangat!)

After the negotation of price for the angpow for the jimui-s, the groom was given the key and he opened the grill door to fetch his bride. 🙂

There was the usual tea ceremony for the bride’s side and then all of us were driven to the groom’s house for the tea ceremony for the groom’s side and we had buffet lunch.

That’s what we did during the day…let’s continue with the night story.

Wedding dinner was held in Klang and by the moment we register ourselves and get to our respective table, we were greeted with very lovely door gifts. A pair of chopsticks or a small photo frame. I settled with a pair of red chopsticks.

You know how there’s this usual song playing and then the bride and groom marches into the hall or restaurant? This one was very special. It was so nice. I clasped my hand as soon as the door opened and I saw my friend holding a mic, walks into the hall, singing…

“Tonight I celebrate my love for you
It seems the natural thing to do”

Then the groom continues with the duet, walking into the hall, trying to catch up with the bride

“Tonight no one’s gonna find us
We’ll leave the world behind us”

And then together they sang, “when I make love to you…tonight”

😡 😡 😡

And then they continued singing.

I almost died. It was so nice. SO NICE SO NICE SO NICE SO NICE SO NICE.

Aku memang suka benda macam ni. And I can’t say this enough!!!

(And I’m playing the song “Tonight I Celebrate My Love” by Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack from this paragraph onwards.)

Dinner started, followed by the compulsory yam seng. We shouted like mad. 😀

Do you know why I enjoyed this wedding the most? Being involved as a jimui is one thing, being involved as a team of jimui of the same secondary school and hometown is also one thing. Having the games successfully executed with the hengdai-s being so sporting and co-operative. The fun and laughter during fetch-the-bride session. The detailed and attentiveness of the bride and groom’s wedding planning and arrangement. They sure did planned well. The mind-blowing entrance by singing the duet. The lovely door gifts. The lovely photo slides.

The one thing that touched and affected the most is when I know that my friend is marrying a guy that I really do think will take care of her and make her the luckiest woman. And this guy comes from a family that is very close-knitted and loving. The moment I saw the groom’s parents talking to the couple during the tea ceremony, you will feel so moved and warm. I don’t know how to explain this but you can just feel the vibe without even needing to know the family beforehand. I’m feeling very very happy for my friend. I really do!

I’m still lingering in the mood of the wedding after-effect. Because it is so beautiful, I think I need some time to recover from being dreamy and all. Makes you want to get married, really.

Timestamp: 1:15am. Took me an hour plus to write. Now I really have to go to bed.

I hope this post cures your Monday blues. 🙂

I have nothing to write about actually, unless you want me to write about work…but that isn’t really something I would like to write about for now.

Until..

“Why do you have so many pyjamas lying on your bed?”

“HAHA. Because I don’t remember that I still have the pyjamas I worn the night before so I took a new one and wore it last night only to realise I already have a pyjamas lying on the bed. And because I’m already wearing the one I was wearing, I didn’t bother!”

“Besides, smelly pyjamas are nicer to sleep in. It is softer.”

“Okay, which one do you want to wash?”

“Anyone will do.”

“What is anyone?”

“Choose the one that is smellier.”

“How?”

“Smell it!”

“I’m not going to do that!” *shows smelly face*

Mummy walked into the study room with two pyjamas.

“Please smell them for me.”

I cannot stop laughing.

*sniff sniff*

“Okay, I think this one is smellier.”

“Yea, I think so too.”

This is the part where I totally laughed out loud! 😀

Mummy did smell both the pyjamas!

• Went for a karaoke session at Neway Puchong today. It was fun. Liked the fact that the room we got was big!! We even had a private toilet to ourselves and I didn’t realise it until someone told me about it when I came back from the toilet outside.
• “??” is a song I learnt in my primary school days. We kept singing that day as our last days of Primary 6 was coming to an end. We kept practising it that there are certain songs which would stay stuck in your mind and you just know the lyrics to the song no matter how long after that. Like now. 🙂 I like this song very much.
• I’m still very much tied to the memories that we had. It’s like no matter what it’s going to be like from now on, I’ll always have that piece of memory with me. At least, it’s nice to know you’ve been loved and you’ve loved very much once. It’s tugged in a corner of my heart. I take it out when I need to refer to it just to feel that tinge of sweetness or just the thought of being in that love.
• I have this very stupid imagination/thought that keeps lingering in my mind. I’d imagine that one day I’ll bump into him with another girl. Sometimes I play this scene in different ways on different times of period when the thought comes hitting me. I’ll play out the plot in my mind. I have many different scenarios, from him regretting that he has let me go, to me regretting we don’t get to be together, to me wishing him happiness, to me getting angry, to me sobbing, to me just staring at him blankly, to me just running away at the sight of him. Crazy, I know but I just thought of writing this down because it really has been in my mind from time to time. Doesn’t hurt me, just sends me staring out of a restaurant window, watching the crowd passes by and thinking to myself that among the crowd, there might be him.
• I’ve been very unstable with too much thoughts. Especially about my job. That’s because I keep seeing vacancies that looks “greener” than the one I already have or the “feeling” that I have that says I can get a better one. So much so that I have been having long breakfasts at home because I do get a feeling that I do not wish to go to work. I’ll delay until I can’t anymore and then get to work. But one thing I know, no matter how I begin to dislike my job (don’t get me wrong, it has not reached that stage yet but this job of mine, just judging from past experiences), I’ll stick do the best that I can till the very end….because I always like to keep a certain image of myself when it comes to work ethic.
• When I think further, I began to like this job a lot more too. There will always be a phase where you struggle a little, trying to adapt and it’s during this process that keeps you thinking of so many other possibilities that disturbs your emotions. My superiors are kind. The environment is good. Maybe my job can get boring at times but other than that, it’s fine really.
• I’m giving Himalaya Herbals’ Neem & Turmeric soap a try to cure my back acnes. I really wish to have a clear back so that I can wear clothes that shows off my back comfortably. I’ve been tucking those shirts away now because I just can’t bear to look at the pimples on my body and some scars which were left behind from the years of having body pimples.
• I got myself a dress for my friend’s wedding tea ceremony. Not pure white but there’s some flower patterns printed on it. Love it a lot and during the process of hunting for a white dress, it did appear like I was the one getting married. Imaging covering the whole One U and cannot get even a simple white dress. Got it at The Curve instead.
• When it comes to clothings, I always keep my new clothes in the wardrobe. Occasionally looking at it when I open the wardrobe but never take it out to wear because to me, new clothes should be kept for special occasion. But now, I’m trying to make myself to wear them because you just have no idea how long I can keep a new shirt/dress hidden in the wardrobe.
• And lately, for some reason, I think I need to have more shoes on top of the quite many shoes I already have. This is also a penyakit especially when I want to match certain shoes with certain outfit.
• You have a great week ahead.

Yesterday I went for a slimming session. Okay, before you gawk or choke, let me explain. I wasn’t interested and in fact I said I didn’t want it but the lady over the phone emphasised that it’s free. FREE WOR! She said. So FREE WOR, I went!

I was late but I wasn’t really late because when I reached, I had to wait another 30 minutes on top of the 15 minutes late. Everything took 1 hour. They measured my weight, my height. 49.4 kg, 163cm. I am underweight! I went to the toilet to ease myself and was asked to change into a robe, somehow reminds me of the yukata I wore in Japan. I like! Then they measure my weight again and this time I weigh 48.9kg. Very funny. My urine weighs half a kilogram! Anyway, I was brought to a room after that and had my measurements taken.

Lepas tu, ada lah, they sapukan gel dekat badan aku dan membungkus saya dengan kertas lutsinar macam mummy dekat Egypt tu. Lepas tu, dia suruh saya baring dekat katil tetapi saya terjegat seketika sebab badan rasa macam keras dan kaku, lepas dibaluti dengan kertas tu, rasa macam tak boleh bergerak.

“Your first time?” She asked.

“Yes.”

Mungkin saya ni nampak cacat dan bodoh-bodoh sikit jadi ditujulah soalan macam tu.

Jadi, saya pun baring lah atas katil dan lepas tu dibungkus dengan selimut. Istilah untuk treatment macam ni ialah “wrapping”. Di bawah selimut tu, saya bersendirian dengan hanya lampu kuning yang menemani saya. Panas rasanya di dalam tu dan diberitahu, saya akan berpeluh dalam pelukan hot blanket ni.

Lepas tu, kertas dikoyakkan dan peluh saya dilap. Kemudiannya, dibawa pula ke bilik sebelah untuk mengegar perut saya yang comel ni. Kena baring atas katil lagi, lepas tu badan diikat ke katil di bahagian perut. Terasa pula macam orang yang beremosi tidak stabil di hospital. haha.

Mesin tu agak comel juga. Tiba-tiba, dia picit perutku.

Saya letih, tak boleh nak habiskan karangan ni.

Harap maaf.

Today I did something which I thought I wouldn’t do but because it has been resurfacing in my mind every now and then, I just got to put it to an end. I’m taking a chance. It may not be the best time to do it but I figure there’s not going to be a best time. How do you define a best time for something uncertain anyway? The best time is when you feel like doing something and you just need to do it. It doesn’t necessarily need to show results just in case it doesn’t turn out fine but at least I’ve satisfied the part where my heart goes bip bop bip bop over the thought of actually committing myself to trying it out. Doesn’t kill anyone. Doesn’t harm myself. Just do it!

My face is koyak, pimples are recovering really slow. I need them cleared by next Saturday the latest. I need  a pretty white dress. (It’s so nice to have a theme colour dress for a friend’s wedding, you get yourself an excuse to get another dress. muahaha).

I Love you Grace!! LOVE YOU!!

*roar*

Iris is on the plane now, flying back to London and then taking a 3-hour ride the next day to her place. Started missing her a few days before today.

I was pretty cool and okay until last night when I shed a tear or two just before going to bed because it suddenly dawned upon me that she’s going to leave tomorrow. This morning I was still okay. Woke up at 6 something because we need to depart for the airport at 7:15am.

Gave her a sisterly hug before she entered the departure hall. When I saw her taking the escalator down to the immigration counter, the tears started streaming down. Not the loud boo-hoo kind, but the beautiful kind that you get to see on dramas. Just tears. Haha!

When she waved just after passing the immigration autogate and is out of sight, I turned around and warned Pappy and Mummy, “I’m dead. I feel like crying.”

Pointed my eyes filled with tears to Mummy and then she started crying!!! And she blamed me for crying because if I hadn’t, she said she wouldn’t! Pappy just laughed as usual whenever I cry when I part with Iris and gave me a squeeze on the neck.

I’m handling farewells better I guess. Way better as compared to the time I bid farewell to Iris when she first went to study in the UK. We were in the train leaving for Bath (it’s a city’s name), and Iris was standing at the platform, waving us goodbye. God, I wasn’t even looking at her because I just couldn’t bear looking at her. I was crying, this is the BOO-HOO kind. It wasn’t planned. It just strucks you and you cannot control it. Cannot stop immediately. I can still remember vividly the look the English lady sitting in front of me had. Shocked and curious and at the same time sympathetic of why this lady, me, is crying. That was perhaps the saddest train journey I ever had. I only had the greens along the way out of the window to soothe me.

This time the driving soothed me. I like driving far sometimes on a highway with less traffic. It’s nice you know? It feels like driving to Neverland.

The above picture. On the left, it’s Foo Foo. Most of you know her. On the right, it’s Tiggie P. All of you don’t know him. He is Iris’s latest addiction. They are both very lucky soft toys. Foo Foo has stayed in UK for a year before deciding that she wants to stay put in Malaysia for good. (Because I forced her to!). Tiggie P has the privilege of holidaying in Malaysia for about a month and he’s going back to UK to protect Iris and sees that she’s fine.

Iris brought back extra 15 kgs than permitted. Total luggage weight = 35kg. Was given 5 kgs grace but the excess baggage stood at 10 kgs. We had no choice but to pay for it. Know how much it costs? A whopping RM 1700 for 10 kgs of excess baggage to London.